All I Ever Wanted
by Mei.EndofStory
Summary: Gaara has become the Kazekage and with that comes his personal body guard. Noriko isn't completely thrilled with the idea but decides she'll make due for the time being. Can Noriko learn to accept her fate and can she teach Gaara things he doesn't understand in the process? Set one year before Naruto returns, slight AU but once the timeline fits I'll try to keep it close. GaaraOC
1. Chapter 1

"So, you're promoting me?" I asked, frowning slightly, "Somehow this seems like a _demotion_."

"Noriko-san. How can you say that? Becoming the Kazekage's personal body guard is a promotion no matter your previous rank." Baki grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But I just made ANBU! You know this has been my dream since forever!" I replied, exasperatedly, "I've been training for 15 years for this and as soon as it's in my grasp, you give me simple _guard duty_. Why not ask Matsuri? I'm sure _she'd_ gladly accept the role!"

"Matsuri is only a Genin, Noriko-san. She is not capable of protecting Gaara-sama." Baki spat in annoyance.

"I doubt the Kazekage even _needs_ a body guard Baki! He's untouchable!" I shot back, giving my best glare.

Baki seemed unfazed as he continued to stare me down and I sighed in defeat, running tan fingers through my hair. There was no way I could _not _accept this role. It would be an embarrassment to, not only myself, but Baki since he was the one who had recommended me. And it _was_ for the Kazekage's sake, I would be a fool to deny him anything.

"Alright, fine," I grumbled, "But I don't have to like it."

Baki chuckled, patting my shoulder in encouragement, "Think of this as training. I'm sure Gaara-sama won't keep you forever, you'll get on his nerves eventually, I'm sure. And he'll send you right back to being a simple ANBU."

"Then why'd you pick _me_?" I asked, slightly curious.

Baki looked away thoughtfully for a moment, tapping a finger to his tanned cheek.

"You're the same age as Gaara-sama," I narrowed my eyes, "And your Kekkei Genkai. Not to mention you are a genius."

"Flattery will get you no where." I mumbled, but could already feel my ego stirring in approval.

"I'm not flattering you, Noriko-san. It's the truth."

_"Go ahead, keep stroking it Baki. My head will be too big to fit out the door in another moment."_

"So it's mostly because my Kekkei Genkai then, ne?" I accused, "I knew it would get me into trouble one of these days!"

Baki chuckled again, shaking his head slightly.

"So you accept?"

"Yeah, yeah. Why not?" I waved dismissively.

"That's great. Let's go tell Gaara-sama now." Baki grinned, turning away from me.

"Eh? Now?" I called after him, "W-Wait! Baki! Slow down!"

* * *

"Kazekage-sama, Baki-senpai and an ANBU-san are here to see you."

I frowned behind my mask, following in behind Baki and bowing when the Kazekage nodded towards us in greeting. When I straightened up I was slightly surprised at how young the Kazekage looked. I had never really looked at him this closely before. Most of the time my squad leader handed in mission reports and on the off chance I did, I usually passed it on to his assistant.

"Gaara-sama." Baki rumbled, giving a slight smirk.

"Baki-san," Gaara replied, "ANBU-san."

"Kazekage-sama." I nodded, bowing my head slightly.

"Gaara-sama, this is the ANBU I told you about," Baki started and I gave a poorly concealed snort of annoyance, "This is Noriko. Noriko-san, remove your mask."

I grumbled quietly to myself, reaching up to undo the tie. I clutched my mask in one hand when it was undone, pulling it away from my face. I blinked once at the sudden brightness of the room before turning my eyes back towards the Kazekage.

"She's young." He said easily and I felt my eye twitch in anger.

"And so are you!" I snapped, huffing and looking away.

"Noriko!" Baki grunted, "Don't talk to Ga-"

"It's fine." The Kazekage spoke up.

I turned back towards him, slightly shocked that he didn't reprimand me but recovered quickly when I noticed his slight look of amusement. I huffed again, this time frowning at him outright. He didn't seem fazed in the least and turned his gaze back towards Baki.

"I trust your judgement, Baki-san. I am confident she will do well." He assured.

"Hai, Gaara-sama. She's the best candidate Suna can offer you."

"Don't talk like I'm not here." I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm sorry, Noriko-san," The Kazekage spoke again, stunning me for the second time, "Forgive the rudeness."

"It's... Fine..." I mumbled, slightly embarrassed with myself.

"Arigato, Noriko-san," The Kazekage nodded, "I assume, Baki-san has given you the details?"

I turned towards Baki, cocking my head in confusion. Baki just chuckled again, turning back towards the Kazekage.

"She only just accepted, Gaara-sama. I haven't had the time yet."

"Well now is good as ever." I pointed out, still confused.

"I'm sorry again, Noriko-san, please allow me to explain."

I nodded once, slightly unsure.

"Arigato. As my personal guard, your duty is solely my protection. For that reason, you shall be moving into my home, so you can preform your duty to it's fullest extent." The Kazekage explained.

"E-Eh? M-Moving? Into _your_ home?" I stuttered.

"I hope it won't cause you any trouble, Noriko-san."

I shook my head 'no' slowly, still processing the information.

_"Moving in with the Kazekage? Is Baki insane!"_

"I live with Temari and Kankuro," The Kazekage continued, "I hope that will not be any trouble either."

"Kankuro-baka?" I questioned, immediately freezing up and slapping a hand over my mouth, "E-Eh, I mean Kankuro-sama? No! No! Not a problem, Kazekage-sama!"

"Gaara."

"Huh?"

"You can call me Gaara."

"A-Ahhh, okay, Gaara-sama." I bowed deeply, blushing in embarrassment.

_"Dear Kami-sama. Why do you hate me so?"_

* * *

"Dear Kami-sama, strike me down, please." I prayed feebly, clutching the last box from my apartment tightly.

When nothing happened, I sighed, shuffling closer towards my doom. Gaara's house wasn't far from my own and packing my meager belongings had taken less time then moving them. I frowned as the gate to his home drew closer and closer as I walked. I nodded to the guard in charge of said gate and he smiled, opening it so I could enter.

"Welcome to your new home, Noriko-sama." He bowed and I shifted nervously on my feet.

"Noriko's fine. None of that 'sama' stuff," I grumbled, "But could you open the door for me? It'd be a big help."

"Hai, Noriko-san."

As I shuffled inside, I was awestruck again at just how beautiful the home was. It had high ceilings and was painted a beautiful sand color. I continued to glance around, taking in more of its simple beauty as I walked up the stairs. When I reached the top I stood silently, smiling slightly to myself.

"Maybe this won't be so bad." I mused, glancing around again.

"What won't be so bad?"

"IYA!" I shrieked, dropping the box I carried and to my horror the contents spilled over the floor.

"And I thought you had been promoted to ANBU. You're sad, Noriko."

"Kankuro-baka." I hissed, turning to glare at the taller man.

Kankuro smirked, leaning against the wall behind me and I blinked stupidly.

"E-Err. What happened to your makeup?" I questioned.

"It's not makeup, BAKA!" Kankuro shouted, pushing away from the wall, "It's _war paint_. They're two different things!"

"Right, right," I waved dismissively, "And I'm the new Hokage."

"Tch. You're not even from Konoha, that would be impossible." Kankuro mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"... Anyway... Are you going to help me pick this stuff up, baka? You're the one who made me drop it." I asked, kneeling down to grab some of my things.

"You're an ANBU, you shouldn't have been so startled, do it yourself." Kankuro countered, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away.

"It was your fault, BAKA!" I shouted after him but he simply shrugged me off.

"Maybe it _is_ going to be just as bad as I thought." I grumbled, gathering my things and heading to my room.

* * *

"I can't sleep." I mumbled to myself, screwing my eyes shut and trying to snuggle deeper into my blanket.

I tried focusing on sleep and only sleep but the more I thought about it, the more it evaded me.

"Gah!" I yelled silently, throwing my blanket back and sat up.

I glanced around my room, frowning. I had unpacked a few of my boxes but couldn't bring myself to unpack my personal things yet. I would surely be the sign that I was accepting my doom.

"Not that I can get out of it..." I mumbled, rolling a stiff shoulder.

"What was I thinking?" I hissed, throwing myself back on my futon.

I laid quietly, staring at the ceiling and counted the cracks.

_"One, two, three-"_

I jolted up when I heard a door down the hall open. I frowned, rolling over silently and reached for the kunai I had stashed in the bedside table. I waited until I heard the door close and crept closer to my own door, pressing my ear against it. Soft footfalls echoed in the empty hall and I held my breath when they passed by my room. I waited until they disappeared before I breathed out, opening my door as quietly as possible and peaked out.

"Nothing," I whispered to myself, "Maybe I was imagining things?"

The flutter of the hall curtain caught my eye and I frowned again, raising my kunai to face level.

_"The window was closed when I went to sleep."_ I thought, inching my way closer.

I closed my eyes when I reached the window, searching for any unfamiliar chakra. When I felt none my frown only increased and I lifted myself on the window ledge, peering around. I didn't see any people walking or running away by ground. I placed my kunai in my mouth and I hoisted myself out the window, slowly creeping up the side of the wall.

_"Leaves the roofs as the only means of escape."_

I peered over the edge and my breath caught in my throat. There, before me, sat Gaara. He was leaning back casually, one knee propped up and one arm resting over it. The moon bathed him in natural light and I found myself completely captivated in his pale skin and red hair. The landscape, of tall buildings, only increased the beauty of the scene and I blushed, hoisting myself up quickly.

"Ya know, Kazekage-sama, I came here prepared to kill a thief or something." I called out, wrapping my arms around my chest, kunai clutched loosely in one hand.

Gaara turned piercing aqua eyes towards me and my breath caught again. It almost made me wish I had scaled down the wall and back to my room. I pinched myself lightly and closed my eyes as a warm breeze blew over my face.

"I'm sorry, Noriko-san."

I smiled warmly, walking towards him. When I reached his side I smiled again.

"Do you mind, Kazekage-sama?" I asked, motioning to take a seat.

Gaara nodded once and I plopped down quickly, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my head. I turned away from him, to see what he had been staring at and my eyes widened.

"It's beautiful," I breathed, smiling again, "Who knew Suna had such a beautiful moon?"

Gaara didn't reply, so I continued my amazed staring, basking in the wonderfully warm night air. The moon hung low in the sky, washing everything over in a pale light. The tall buildings left mysterious shadows in their wake and I thought quickly of Nara, Shikamaru, Konoha's peace advisory to Suna. He would probably love it. He seemed like that kind of guy. Especially with the way he complained about Suna's lack of clouds.

"You can call me Gaara." Gaara suddenly spoke and I turned towards him in surprise.

"Huh?"

"You called me Kazekage-sama. You can call me Gaara." He repeated, as if slightly unsure of his own words.

I smiled again, turning back to look over the city, "Okay, Gaara-sama, it's beautiful, ne?"

He didn't answer again and I turned back, frowning slightly at his scowl. I bowed my head deeply, flushing in embarrassment.

"Sorry, Gaara-sama. I didn't mean to be so casual." I mumbled, standing quickly.

He continued to watch me with a slight scowl and I bowed again, hoping I hadn't angered him in any way.

"You can sit." He murmured eventually, turning his gaze away.

"I should probably try to sleep." I replied, turning away from him.

After a few steps I felt guilty for leaving so aburptly. I turned back, hugging myself again.

"You should probably try to sleep as well, Gaara-sama," I supplied, "It would also make my job easier if you were in your room, so if you are attacked I can reach you."

I added as an afterthought. He didn't seem to acknowledge me so I sighed, turning back and headed inside. Once inside and on my futon I wrapped the blanket tightly around me, falling into a restless sleep. Gaara's unique eyes plaguing my dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

_"This is so..."_

"Boring." I mumbled, ANBU mask stifling my yawn.

Gaara didn't look up from his paperwork and I frowned, relaxing back against the wall again. I sighed, closing my eyes and thought of the numerous things more exciting than this. Things that a _real_ ANBU should be doing, like completing missions or even helping an old woman cross the street. That sounded like a lot more fun than watching Gaara scribble away at the never ending stream of paperwork.

_"Who knew the Kazekage would have such a boring job... Maybe he's just as bored?"_

"Ano... Gaara-sama." I asked, smiling when he finally looked up.

"Hai?"

"Ano, Gaara-sama... Aren't you bored? Don't you wish you were on a mission? Or at the very least, training?"

Gaara didn't respond and I eventual got bored waiting for an answer. I huffed, facing away from him and decided to count the books on the shelf across from me. The sound of his scribbling returned and I sighed again. It had been a few day's since I had moved in and ever since that night on the roof Gaara had taken to ignoring my efforts at being casual. I knew that it wasn't my place to try so hard, he _was_ the Kazekage but I couldn't get his eyes out of my mind. The look of utter-

"Loneliness." I whispered, tearing my eyes from the books to gaze at him again.

He made no motion to acknowledge that he heard me, regardless if he had or not and I decided I didn't care either way. If I was going to be his body guard then he would have to acknowledge me and if he didn't then I was going to go insane. I didn't know why it bothered me so much and I absolutely _knew_ it wasn't my place to care, but I couldn't help it. No one should look that lonely and I was going to prove to him that he wasn't.

With new resolve I straightened up, turning towards him and walked swiftly to his desk. When he didn't look up I growled, slapping an open palm on the surface. He turned his eyes upward ones that didn't show any emotion and I growled again.

"Gaara-sama. I want to show you something," I said, turning away from him and striding towards the door, "So follow me."

I didn't bother to see if he followed or not as I stormed from his office, making quick strides to the front of the building. In an angry huff I threw open the door, basking in the heat of the day. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and grinned in triumph when I felt someone appear next to me. I cocked my head to the side, just to make sure it _was_ Gaara and when I saw his aqua eyes my grin grew wider.

"We're going for a walk, Gaara-sama." I stated as he raised a non-existent brow in question.

I hopped down the stairs, two at a time and waited for him to catch up again. I smiled as he placed his Kage hat on his head and motioned for me to lead the way. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and began to whistle a familiar tune, casually strolling past the front gates. Gaara walked by my side and I took it as a good sign that my plan would work.

We continued in silence, aside from my whistling, as I lead him to a busy shopping district. I smiled beneath my mask when I took note of all the people. It was as busy as I had hoped it would be and my smile grew wider as the people of Suna began to openly gawk, pointing and whispering behind their hands.

"It's Kazekage-sama!"

"Look! An ANBU! How cool!"

"Ahh! It's the Kazekage! This is the first time I've seen him here! Is this some kind of special day?"

I continued my casual pace, sneaking a glance at Gaara and grinned as he looked around in curiosity. I bit back a snort of amusement as one of the shopping women squealed as he looked at her. A sudden tug at my pants caused me to stop and glance down curiously. A small group of children were swarmed around my legs, grinning up at me. I smiled back then frowned at my stupidity, they couldn't see my face.

"Ano! ANBU-san!" On boy called up, peering into the eye holes of my mask.

"Hai?" I asked, squatting down to their level.

The group giggled at the sudden movement and some blushed.

"Ano, ANBU-san... C-Can we say hello to Kazekage-sama?" A brunette girl asked cutely, scuffing the toe of her sandal-clad foot.

I smiled again, turning to look up at Gaara. He watched the exchange, eyes still curious and I turned back to the group nodding my head.

"I don't know. Why don't you just say hello?" I whispered, as if it was a secret.

The children giggled again and turned towards Gaara, smiling cheerfully. He seemed slightly surprised as they all bowed quickly, shouting together-

"Ohayo! Kazekage-sama!"

And just as quickly they darted away, giggling madly. I smiled after them, raising to stand straight again. I turned my face towards Gaara and fought the urge to laugh at his complete look of shock. He glanced in my direction when I coughed to hide my laughter, giving me another curious look. I smiled, not caring if he couldn't see and continued my stroll, whistling all the way.

* * *

"That has got to be the worst decision you have ever made!" Kankuro shouted angrily.

I glared back, just as angry.

"It was my best!" I defended, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You don't understand anything, Noriko!" Kankuro growled, slamming a fist on the kitchen counter, "All that was _luck_ today! Luck that no one attacked Gaara! Don't you get it? There are still a hell of a lot of people in Suna who _hate_ Gaara! He could have been attacked and what's _one_ ANBU like you gunna do?"

"There are just as many people who _respect_ Gaara-sama!" I shouted back.

"It's not _respect_, Noriko! It's _fear_!"

"It's not!" I countered, "You should have seen the children! They _respect_ the Kazekage!"

"So what's the difference a _few_ kids make! They aren't going to be able to _defend_ Gaara! And- _fuck_, don't you understand how dangerous that was?" Kankuro demanded.

"Gaara-sama willingly followed me! I didn't force him to!" I hissed.

"And, for the life of me, I don't know _why_ he'd listen to you!" Kankuro growled, "You endangered the Kazekage, _my_ brother! If it was up to me, you'd be in _jail_ for attempted murder!"

"Enough, Kankuro."

We both whipped around to come face's to face with Temari. I scowled, pressing my arms tighter over my chest.

"T-Temari," Kankuro sputtered, "When did you get back?"

"A few hours ago." She responded, eyes not leaving mine.

"Why didn't you come say hello earlier!" Kankuro accused, "Is that any way to treat your favorite brother?"

Temari and I both snorted and she turned her gaze towards her brother.

"I had to report to Gaara first," She started, eyes back on mine, "He seemed to be in quite the mood."

I turned my eyes to the floor angrily in defeat and Kankuro smirked in triumph.

"So Gaara's mad, ne?" I fought the urge to strangle the smirk off his face.

"No." Temari replied easily, causing us both to sputter in shock.

"N-Nani? He's... Not mad?" Kankuro spoke and for once I was grateful, I didn't trust my self to not sound eager.

"No, he seemed to be in a pleasant mood."

I grinned widely, giving Kankuro a smug look. He scowled at me and huffed, stomping from the kitchen in a childish manner. Before I could stop myself I stuck my tongue out, pulling the lower lid of my left eye down at his retreating form. Temari cleared her throat and I turned back towards her, chucking nervously and scratched the back of my neck.

"Eh hehe, sorry, Temari-sama." I mumbled, looking sheepish.

"Don't worry, he's a baka," She nodded, "But he is right."

My joy was cut threw quickly and I frowned again, crossing my arms back over my chest.

"Eh?"

"Kankuro is right, Noriko-san. It was very dangerous to take a walk with the Kazekage like that. I wouldn't recommend you doing it again. As a fellow shinobi I hope you can understand that." She said and I sighed.

"No worries, Temari-sama. I won't do it ag-"

"That being said," She continued, cutting me off, "I just wanted to say, as Gaara's sister... Arigato for doing that for my brother."

I blinked in surprise as she appraised me again then left. I stood there stupidly for another minute or so, letting her words sink in and even if I had wanted to stop the smile that spread over my lips, I knew I couldn't.

* * *

I hadn't stopped smiling since Temari had praised me earlier. It was only made better by the fact that Kankuro seemed to be in such a sour mood. He obviously wasn't happy that Gaara hadn't been upset over the whole fiasco. Not two minutes after the children had run away a rather large group of ANBU had appeared around us and escorted the Kazekage back to his office. I, on the other hand, had been told to return home and that my duty for the day was done.

I had scowled angrily, cursing them with rather crude words the entire way back and from there my mood had only dropped more when Kankuro had come in, yelling up a storm. But now-

"Now I'm happy." I smiled, stretching across the roof top to watch the moon.

"That's good."

I jolted up quickly, eyes widening is surprise. I clutched the front of my shirt tightly in one hand and weezed into the other.

"Kami, Gaara-sama. Don't scare me like that! If I die, you're going to have to find a new body guard." I grumbled.

"I'm sorry, Noriko-san."

"It's... Fine..." I mumbled, flushing slightly.

_"Why does he apologize so much? I'm just being stupid for overreacting."_

Gaara didn't say anything as he sat beside me and I drew my knees up to my chest, resting my head on them comfortably. We stayed like that for a long time, silently watching the beautiful city below. Before long, I was yawing and I tiredly rubbed a fist across my eyes to fight the sleep away. I was enjoying this moment, probably selfishly, and I didn't want it to end just yet.

"I'm sorry for what Kankuro said to you." Gaara spoke quietly and I turned tired eyes towards him.

"Do'n worry 'bout it, Kankuro's a baka. I don't take anything he say's seriously." I mumbled, snuggling my knees closer to keep warm.

"Temari told me what he said. He had no right." Gaara pursued and I closed my eyes, sighing.

"Like I said, Gaara-sama. Kankuro's a baka," I nodded, more to myself than him, "I do'n care what he said. I was right, he was wrong. I win."

I jerked, suddenly wide awake and turned towards Gaara in stunned amazement.

"D-Did you just laugh, Gaara-sama?" I asked, unsure.

Gaara turned to look at me and I was sure he was just a surprised by the action as I was. He opened his mouth to answer, deftly closing it and gave an slow nod. I blinked, once, twice, then a third time, just to make sure I wasn't dreaming before smiling widely at him. I nodded back, turning to look back at the moon. It's pure light bathed over me and I gathered my confidence when I was sure of my statement.

"I-It sounded nice..."


	3. Chapter 3

_"One step forward, ten steps back." _I thought angrily.

I knew it was selfish to think that Gaara would act differently today but I had honestly thought after last night he might be slightly more bearable. I was wrong. Dead wrong. If anything Gaara was giving me the cold shoulder, _that_ much I could tell. He hadn't even looked at me when I greeted him in the morning, only giving half a nod to show that he heard.

"Bastard." I grumbled, twirling a kunai around my finger.

_"And I can't even attempt to make progress with him in another meeting."_

"I bet he _planned_ all these meetings today. As _my_ punishment. Bastard."

"Ya know, talking to yourself is a sure sign of insanity."

I glared up at Kankuro from my seated position on the floor. He was giving me that _damned_ cocky smirk of his, the one I wanted to wipe off his face for good.

"And wearing makeup is a sure sign of cross dressing." I countered back in smug satisfaction.

Kankuro's lip twitched in annoyance and I mentally prepared myself for another one of his verbal lashings. To my surprise he gritted his teeth, letting out a slow breath. I reached up, moving my ANBU mask to the side so I could see him better.

"Look, Noriko..." Kankuro started, "I didn't... Mean to be so harsh yesterday... You have to understand, Gaara isn't only the Kazekage but my brother... I don't want anything to happen to him... Especially since things are going well for him right now..."

"Don't worry about it, baka-"

"I'm not a baka!"

"I want what's best for Gaara-sama too." I smiled genuinely.

Kankuro narrowed his eyes, pouting slightly.

"You're weird, Noriko. I don't get you at all. Baki-sensei said you _hated_ the idea of being Gaara's body guard. So why are you doing _this_, whatever this is?" He asked.

I smiled again, patting the floor next to me in encouragement. Kankuro kept his eyes narrowed but slowly allowed himself to sit beside me. I dropped my knees, pulling them into a criss-cross style and turned to face Kankuro. I casually put my arms behind my head, leaning back a little and chuckled.

"I do hate the idea." I nodded, closing my eyes.

"Then what are you doing, if you hate Gaara? Why don't you just quit? Gaara could find someone else."

"I don't hate Gaara-sama," I hummed, peaking open one eye, "I just hate the idea that, when I finally reached my goal of ANBU, I get stuck babysitting."

"You aren't _babysitting_ Gaara," Kankuro spat, "You're protecting him."

"I know," I sighed, "But imagine Kankuro, you hone your skills to the best of their ability. You reach a rank that is practically _equal_ with the Kazekage then you're told you can't doing anything. That you're going to sit around and _wait _for something bad to happen and that's your life now. I have my _own _goals you know... Do you even know why I wanted to join ANBU?"

I opened my eyes to stare at Kankuro and he shook his head in negative. I dropped my arms from behind my head and clasped my hands in my lap.

"I want to kill my father."

Kankuro's eyes widened and he coughed, probably having chocked on his own spit.

"Y-You what?" He stuttered, leaning away from me slightly.

"I want to kill my father," I answered again, "It's not really that big of a secret but I guess you haven't heard. Haven't you ever wondered why my hair is white? Why my eyes are gold? Or why I have a Kekkei Genkai? It's not exactly common in Suna."

"I-I always thought you were just weird..." Kankuro trailed off.

"False, baka," I smirked, before sighing again, "My Kaa-chan was raped by a missing-nin when on a mission."

"D-Don't say things like that so lightly." Kankuro mumbled, flushing in embarrassment.

"But it's true," I mused, "I'm a bastard child and when the man who my Kaa-chan was married to found out, after I was born, he killed her and then himself."

"W-Why are you telling me this? We aren't friends." Kankuro grunted and I figured he was surely uncomfortable.

"I come from a family of shinobi, I guess being personal isn't my forte. You asked why I'm did that for Gaara-sama, why I haven't just quit. Besides my pride and ego, you wouldn't understand unless I told you this." I smiled.

"Then explain better."

"You sure are dense, baka," I grinned, "I'm doing this because I know what it's like to be alone. Until I can prove to Gaara-sama that he isn't as lonely as he thinks he is, my own selfish goals can wait, for a while at least."

Kankuro didn't say anything so I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes and hummed. The door near us suddenly opened and I jumped to my feet, swinging my ANBU mask back over my face. I stood to attention, bowing as some of the council members walked past.

"Eh? Kankuro-sama, what are you doing sitting on the floor? You didn't need to wait, if you wished to enter." One of the elderly men bowed.

I chuckled slightly, sound muffled by my mask. Kankuro pushed himself to his feet, sending me an accusing glare for my laugh and bowed back.

"It's nothing, Ryuuno-san, I was just waiting for Gaara-sama. ANBU-san kept me company." Kankuro replied.

"Ahh, you're the ANBU watching after our Kazekage-sama. It's a pleasure to meet you." Ryuuno bowed.

"It's my pleasure to be the one to protect Kazekage-sama, Ryuuno-sama." I bowed again.

"Kankuro, what are you doing here?" Gaara spoke and I fought the urge to scowl.

"I'll excuse myself. Kazekage-sama, Kankuro-sama, ANBU-san." Ryuuno bowed again before walking away.

Gaara turned his gaze back towards Kankuro, completely bypassing my face on the way.

_"Bastard is still ignoring me." _

"Nothing Gaara. I was just apologizing to Noriko, like you asked."

I frowned, _"You did not."_

"I see." Gaara nodded, turning and walking away.

"Liar." I hissed, when Gaara was out of earshot.

Kankuro sent me another smirk but it slowly fell from his face. He gave me a calculating stare, nodding to himself before walking away. I gaped at him, body twitching to jump him before I remembered Gaara. I sighed, running thin fingers through my hair and jogged to catch up to him. I stopped a few steps short of his side, following two paces behind him.

_"At this rate, I'll never accomplish my own goals."_

* * *

I watched, completely entranced as Gaara trained. It was the first time I had ever seen him in action and his motions were beautiful to say the least. I had previously heard that Gaara never moved when he fought, except to maybe raise an arm and that his sand acted on its own but that wasn't what I was seeing. Gaara leaped into the air, twisting his body and threw out an arm, sending shuriken and kunai dead center of the target. I felt _extreamly_ privileged to be the one witnessing this, surely _rare_, opportunity.

"Being his body guard has it's perks," I nodded to myself happily, "I'll forgive him for being a bastard, for now."

"Don't you wish to train as well?" Gaara suddenly called, catching me off guard.

I nodded, probably _too_ enthusiastically and leapt to my feet walking towards him. He gave me a questioning look and I frowned.

_"Oh. He meant train on my own."_

"Ahh, I thought you meant together, sorry, Gaara-sama." I mumbled, looking away from him.

"You wish to train together?" Gaara asked.

"Mhmm. At least, that's what I was hoping you were asking, Gaara-sama." I nodded.

Gaara stared at me for a long while before speaking again.

"It's too dangerous." He murmured and I moved my ANBU mask to the side of my face, giving him a cocky grin.

"Nonsense, Gaara-sama, I _am_ an ANBU you know. I'm not weak."

"It's dangerous." Gaara pressed farther.

"Don't you trust me, Gaara-sama? They wouldn't have made me your personal guard if they thought I would just as easily die by your hand, let alone an enemies."

Gaara still didn't seem too sure so I took the initiative by removing the thin cloak over my shoulders. I folded it up, untying my mask and placed them both on the ground. I felt a piercing gaze on me and turned to see Gaara's slightly narrowed eyes. I looked down, flushing slightly, embarrassed by my outfit. It was then I realized Gaara had only ever seen me with my cloak or in my sleeping clothes, which consisted of a loose shirt and baggy shorts.

I glanced down again, tugging the hem of my ANBU vest down. It was exactly the same as every other Suna ANBU member but until then I had never noticed just how tight it was. I decide to ignore it, it hadn't bothered me before and glanced back up, giving Gaara a grin.

"Alright Gaara-sama. Prepare yourself!" I shouted, dropping into a fighting stance.

Gaara's face became blank as he crossed his arms over his chest, obviously waiting for me to make the first move. I considered for a moment, looking for a weakness I knew wasn't there.

_"Gaara has the ultimate defense." _I reminded myself.

"SUMMONING NO JUTSU!" I shouted, biting my thumb and slamming my open palm on the sand.

The smoke blew away and I grinned at the large, sandy colored cat before me. It blinked a few times then yawned, stretching out. I sweat dropped, balling my hand into a fist.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID NEKO!" I shouted, shaking my fist at it.

"Shut up Gaki. You woke me up from my nap and you're not even in battle. What do you want?" He purred lazily.

"I'M TRYING TO TRAIN YOU STUPID NEKO! WE'RE FIGHTING GAARA-SAMA!" I yelled, pointing towards the red head.

"Gaara-sama?" He repeated, turning his head to look at the man.

"YES!" I seethed, "I need your help!"

"Not interested." He purred again.

My left eye twitched in annoyance.

"You're such a worthless summon!" I shot out, "I knew sand cats were nothing but talk! I should have made a contract with a scorpion or something!"

It was my _partners_ turn to look annoyed and the fur along his back bristled.

"Scorpions are nothing but stupid insects! Ha! Without me you wouldn't even be where you are!"

"Then _prove _it!" I challenged, "Help me Akio!"

"Ha! Fine! But you owe me!" He hissed, standing up and fulling facing Gaara.

I smirked smugly, giving Gaara a sly thumbs up. He didn't even look like the exchange surprised him and simply raised a hand. Sand shot forward, giving Akio and I only seconds to roll out of the way. When we jumped to our feet Akio turned on me, hackles raised.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME HE WAS A JINCHUURIKI!" He shouted, "ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"Shh, you're too loud Akio," I grumbled, pulling a kunai from my pouch, "Now come on. Let's get serious."

Akio sighed, "Do you have a plan?"

"Mhmm, I need you to keep his sand occupied," I nodded, slightly distracted as the sand swirled around Gaara, "I've heard that if someone gets close enough, it reacts on its own. Maybe we can use that to our advantage."

"Hai." Akio rumbled, jumping away.

I watched as he circled Gaara a few times, jumping forward to only be pushed away by the sand again and again.

_"I'm getting no where."_

I clutched the kunai in my hand tighter, jumping towards Gaara the moment Akio jumped back, the sand chasing him. I grinned, flinging the kunai from my hand and frowned when Gaara's eyes turned towards me. Without even a flinch, sand sprang up catching the weapon and turned it towards me. I jerked to the side, kunai grazing my arm and landed a few feet away. I looked towards Akio and frowned when I noticed he couldn't move. Sand moved slowly over his paws, locking them to the ground. In an instant Akio puffed away and I cursed him.

"Kuso..." I whispered, reaching for another kunai.

I frowned when I felt heavy sand creep over my feet and flipped backwards to get away. My hand made contact with the ground and I hissed, tugging it free from the sand quickly and jumped back a few more feet. Sand swirled up around Gaara again and I mentally scolded myself to keep focused. I took out a few more kunai, stringing them with wire quickly and threw them to my left and right. Just as I had hoped, the sand didn't react and I grinned, clutching my last kunai tightly. I dashed behind him, wincing when the sand attacked, leaving shallow cuts along my face and neck. I took my only opening, throwing the kunai straight for him. The sand stopped it easily but I launched myself forward with a wild grin.

_"Less than a foot away, I can do this."_

Gaara's eyes widened and I assumed it was due to how close I was.

_"6 inches."_

He took a half a step back, just like I had hoped and when his heel caught the wire and he all but tumbled back, landing with a soft thud. I landed over him, hands on either side of his head and attempted to grin in triumph but sand suddenly swirled between us, forcing me away harshly.

"Ita!" I called out, trying to struggle against the sands harsh grip.

"You win Gaara-sama! I give!" I shouted, wincing when the sand reached my waist.

When the sand didn't stop climbing I began to panic, sending a frantic look towards Gaara. My panic only grew when I noticed he wasn't staring at me, but clutching his head tightly in obvious pain. I took a deep breath as the sand slowly climbed over my shoulders and forced myself to calm down.

"Gaara-sama," I called, keeping the nervousness out of my voice, "Gaara-sama. I'm okay. Just calm down Gaara-sama."

I breathed in quickly as the sand slowly began encasing my head.

"GAARA!" I shouted my last desperate plea to live.

He looked up suddenly, fingers still tightened in his hair and I bit my lip harshly when I noticed tears in his eyes. They widened in surprise and I sucked in another breath as the sand creeped over my mouth, sealing it shut. I screwed my eyes shut tightly, willing myself not to cry as the sand covered my nose.

_"This is it. I'm going to die."_

"S-Stop."

My eyes snapped open at the horse command. Gaara still sat on the ground, one hand in his hair and the other raised towards me. The sand loosened around my body and I dropped to my hands and knees, greedily sucking air into my lungs. After a few calming breaths I looked up, meeting Gaara's gaze. I flinched under its heat, looking back to the ground guiltily. My fingers dug into the sand and I dropped my head in a low bow.

"I-I'm sorry, Gaara-sama!" I shouted, tears spilling.

_"I'm sorry that I'm weak."_

I shook my head a few times to rid the tears from my face and forced myself to my feet. Gaara hadn't moved and I forced myself to smile and walk towards him. I reached out a tentative hand to help him up, still keeping my forced smile on my face. He blinked up at me in surprise, slowly reaching to accept my hand. I gave a genuine smile this time, gripping his hand tightly and pulled him to his feet. As soon as he was steady I let go and bowed again.

"I'm sorry Gaara-sama. If I wasn't so weak, this wouldn't have happened. Forgive my cockiness that I thought I could be on your level." I murmured, fingers bunching the material of my pants.

"... No."

I flinched slightly, dropping my head lower as I waited for him to speak again.

"N-Noriko-san. I'm sorry."

I stood straight, frowning at the tormented look on his face. I reached out tentatively to touch his cheek but dropped my hand just as quickly. I shook my head in negative, giving him my brightest and warmest smile.

"It's not your fault! Nothing to worry about Gaara-sama!"

"B-But I hurt you, Noriko-san..." Gaara murmured, eyes roaming my face.

I waved it off dismissively, determined to cheer him up.

"It happens when training Gaara-sama! If I got mad every time I got hurt during training, I wouldn't have many friends, ne?"

My inner-self face palmed.

_"Did I really just call Gaara my friend? I'm getting too bold for my own good."_

"Friends?" Gaara whispered, "I almost killed you and you call me a friend?"

I nodded, chuckling nervously and willed myself not to blush too darkly.

"A-Ah, Hai. I-I mean, you _didn't_ kill me. It was just training that got a little out of control. I-It happens from time to time!" I reassured, "A-And, I didn't mean to call you my friend! I-It just slipped out. I know it's too bold of me to think like that! After all, I am just a regular shinobi!"

Gaara continued to stare at me and I desperately hoped that this wouldn't ruin the little progress I had made. He shifted on his feet, turning to face away and I didn't know if it was because of the heat that I was hallucinating but I could have sworn his cheeks were twinged the lightest pink. When he looked back at me, the color was gone and his lips pulled slightly at the corners, as if he was smiling.

"I-I would like to be your friend." He murmured and his deep voice gave me chills despite the hot air.

"O-Of course, Gaara-sama!" I grinned, patting him on the shoulder in my excitement.

To my horror, he froze under the touch and I let out a shaky laugh, dropping my arm to my side.

"M-My bad, Gaara-sama! I guess I got a little carried away, sorry if it that wasn't pleasant..." I trailed off, blushing darkly.

He looked to his shoulder, touching the spot lightly with his own hand and another shiver ran up my spin. He turned his eyes back to mine and shook his head slowly.

"It was different." He supplied finally.

My inner-self let out a sigh of relief that I wished I could copy. I nodded again, more to reassure myself he wasn't upset and gave another smile.

"Different can be good, Gaara-sama." I nodded sagely.

"You don't have to use 'sama' if we are friends." Gaara said quietly.

"Ahhh... But you're the Kazekage." I tried to argue.

"I am only Gaara now."

For some reason, my heart swelled with that statement and I smiled before taking on a thoughtful look.

"Hmmm... Well then, when it's us, I can call you Gaara-kun? Just Gaara is considered rude," I nodded, "And in front of others, I have to be respectful, so I'll call you Gaara-sama."

He continued to stare so I quickly added-

"I-If that's okay with you!"

His lips twitched slightly at the corners, a sign I took that he was smiling.

"Yes, that's fine, Noriko-san."

I 'tsked' quickly, shaking a finger.

"Not 'san'. You don't normally use that for friends. Just Noriko is fine."

"Noriko-kun then?" He asked.

I blinked, then practically doubled over in laughter. Tears threatened to spill and I hurriedly tried to calm myself before he misunderstood me.

"Did I say something funny?" He asked, confused.

"Ahaha, uhh, kinda, Gaara-kun," I chuckled lightly, "You see, 'kun' is used for boys. Like I said, just Noriko is fine."

"But you said it was rude to call me "just Gaara", it would be rude of me to call you "just Noriko"." He argued back with my own logic.

I frowned, _"He's too smart."_

"Ehhh, well, I mean, I don't _mind_ so it can't really be rude..."

_"Dear Kami, please don't let him as-"_

"Then what does one use for a female friend?"

_"Kami, you hate me don't you?"_

"They u-use 'chan'." I mumbled, hoping he couldn't understand what I said.

"Noriko-chan." He tried, in a deep husk.

My heart fluttered dangerously in my chest and I gave him a simple nod. I couldn't trust my mouth to move properly.

_"It's weird. I've never been so excited over a new friend before. Is it because I feel accomplished? Like I'm doing the impossible? Am I that shallow and desperate myself?"_

"Arigato, Noriko-chan." Gaara all but whispered.

"For what, Gaara-kun?" I asked stupidly.

"For being my friend, Noriko-chan." He answered honestly.

I frowned slightly at his tone. As if he still didn't quite believe me yet.

_"But I'll prove it to him."_

I turned my frown into a wide smile, patting his shoulder again without realizing.

"No need to thank me Gaara-kun. I should be thanking you for accepting!"


	4. Chapter 4

_"It's dark. Why is it so dark...?" I murmured_.

_Everything around me was black, as if I was trapped in a shadow. I cautiously took a step forward, putting my arms out in front of me in an attempt to feel something. After a few more steps I frowned, a heavy feeling of unease settling over me. _

_"Are my eyes even open?" I questioned myself._

_I reached a hand upwards, pressing a fingertip to the corner of my eye._

_"They're open." _

_My frown deepened as I looked around, searching for anything in the darkness. It felt like an eternity had passed when the feeling that this darkness was absolute finally sunk in. In defeat, I allowed myself to collapse to the floor and drew my knees tightly to my chest. My fingers dug into my shins, nails breaking the skin. _

_"Why?" _

_My stomach turned, when the smell of blood hit my nose. I winced, loosening my fingers and brought my hands in front of my face. The absolute darkness hide even my own body from me. I cursed, balling my hands into fists and struck the ground angrily. My hands slipped through the darkness below and the sudden feel of falling caused me to gasp, reaching out to grab something, _anything,_ to save me._

_"Nothing." _

_My body tensed on its own, preparing for the landing I couldn't see coming. I tried to twist, hoping I could at least land on my feet but in the darkness I had no idea which direction I was falling. My eyes doubled in pain as the back of my head collided solidly with, what I assumed, was the bottom. My left arm twisted awkwardly under my weight and I let out a harsh scream._

* * *

"WAKE UP BAKA!"

I jolted forward, clutching at my chest with my right hand, panting heavily. My eyes shot upwards, onto the-

_"Worried?"_

-Face of Kankuro and I frowned, shoving him away. I closed my eyes, bringing my knees to my chest and buried my face in my blanket.

"Tch. What's your problem, Noriko?" Kankuro grumbled from the floor, "You were screaming your head off."

I frowned again, lifting my face to glare at him but my eyes softened when he rubbed at his hair in annoyance.

"So?" Kankuro asked, pushing himself up to stand.

"Nightmare." I whispered, clutching and pulling the blankets closer.

"Do you... Do you wanna talk about it?" He mumbled, looking away.

I smiled a little, "I thought we weren't friends."

"W-We're not, Baka!" Kankuro shouted, "But it's four in the morning! And you woke me up! I was trying to be nice! Next time I won't bother!"

I smiled again, moving over enough so he could sit on my bed and patted the spot. Kankuro huffed, looking away before he sighed, accepting the seat.

"There's nothing to talk about," I said honestly, "I don't think I even remember now... But... Arigato Kankuro."

"Don't mention it Baka," Kankuro mumbled, "Just get back to sleep."

I gave him a slight smile and nodded. He waited a moment, deciding something to himself before nodding as well and silently slipped from my room. As soon as the door closed, I curled back into my blanket and shut my eyes.

* * *

"Ohayo! Gaara-kun!" I grinned as I walked into the kitchen.

"Ohayo, Noriko-chan." Gaara replied, taking a drink from his cup.

"So what's on the agenda today?" I asked, grabbing some toast, "More meetings? More paperwork? Ne, are you _positive_ there aren't any missions that we should go on? You know, some bandits causing a ruckus? Some missing-nin that need captured?"

"I have a meeting in an hour." Gaara murmured quietly.

"Ahhh." I hummed, taking a bit of my breakfast.

Gaara remained quiet so I obliged him, munching on my toast. I reached for my tea, blowing on it and took a large gulp. It faintly reminded me of the tea served at Tsu-baa-san's shop and I wondered when the next time I could visit her would be. The feeling of being stared came to mind and I glanced up, surprised to see Gaara's eyes on me.

"Something on my face?" I asked, reaching up to wipe away any crumbs.

Gaara shook his head but continued to stare at me. I suddenly felt awkward, fidgeting in my seat under his gaze. When it finally became too much, I opened my mouth to tell him "staring is rude, ya know?" but he spoke first.

"Are you okay, Noriko-chan?" He asked softly, placing his cup on the table.

"Huh?" I scratched my cheek, "Uhh, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I heard you screaming last night."

"Ehehe... I'm fine, nightmare!" I blushed in embarrassment, "I didn't mean to wake you too!"

"You did not wake me." Gaara said, picking his cup back up.

"Huh? Really? But Kankuro said it was four in the morning..." I trailed off.

"I do not sleep." Gaara replied easily.

"Ohh... Why not?" I asked, slightly curious.

"If I sleep, Shukaku will take over my body."

"Ohh..." I frowned, staring into my cup.

_"To never sleep... That must be awful..."_

* * *

"I wonder what they're on about..." I mused aloud, relaxing against the wall.

It had been over an hour now since the meeting had begun and to say I was bored would be putting it lightly. The hallway was bare, leaving me nothing to look at and I hoped that Gaara would be done soon. I much preferred listening to his quiet scribbling's than nothing at all.

_"A week and a half ago I would have rather helped an old lady cross the street. This gig is making me lazy."_

"Until next time then, Nara-san."

I turned quickly, a huge smile plastered on my face as Gaara and Shikamaru walked out of the council room. It took everything in me not to jump the poor Konoha shinobi. I knew it was frowned upon to be so disrespectful.

"Yeah, until next time, Gaara-sama." Shikamaru sighed.

_"Screw being respectful." _

"SHIKAMARU!" I cheered, jumping on his back, "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE COMING!"

"N-Noriko!" Shikamaru sputtered, catching himself against the wall.

I let go, taking a few steps back and moved my mask to the side, smiling widely. Shikamaru sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance but I could see the small smile on his lips.

"Tch, such a troublesome woman." He muttered lightly.

I scoffed, pretending to be hurt by his words, "You love me really Shikamaru. Just admit it already."

"As if anyone could love you." Shikamaru joked back.

I smiled again, throwing my arms behind my head happily.

"Ne, ne? Why didn't you tell me you were visiting? You were trying to get away without me knowing, weren't you?" I accused, giving him a fake glare.

"You caught me," Shikamaru mumbled, raising his hands in defeat, "I should have known better. You're always find me when I visit. I should have saved myself the trouble."

"Tch. 'Cause I'm _so_ troublesome," I mocked, "So why are you here?"

Shikamaru glanced at Gaara and my face grew hot in embarrassment.

"S-Sorry! Gaara-sama!" I bowed quickly, causing my mask to slide to the floor.

"It's fine, Noriko-chan." Gaara murmured and my cheeks grew even darker.

_"Oh Kami, oh Kami! Please let Shikamaru keep quiet!" _

I chuckled nervously, grabbing my mask and smiled, ignoring the curious look Shikamaru gave me. I shot him a look that said "I will kill you if you ask" and he only raised an eyebrow in response.

"I didn't know you and Nara-san were friends." Gaara said quietly.

"Ehehe, well, um, yeah!" I started, "Kinda I guess, I was in charge of showing him around the first time he came here, until Temari-sama came back from her mission. I try to see him every time he visits... I'd like to think we're friends."

"Tch. So troublesome." Shikamaru chuckled, shaking his head.

"I see." Gaara said.

I smiled slightly, fixing my mask back over my face. Gaara put on a thoughtful look, turning towards Shikamaru.

"I'm sure you're tired, Nara-san. If you would like, Noriko-chan can escort you to get something to eat, before you leave."

"Eh? B-But! I can't leave you Gaara-sama!" I jumped in, flushing at how embarrassing that sounded.

"I can ask another ANBU to escort me until you return," Gaara murmured, "Unless you don't wish to spend time with Nara-san."

"Ehhh. It's not that, Gaara-sama..." I mumbled, "But I have to keep my duty to you first."

"Doesn't one also have a duty to their friends?" He questioned.

* * *

"Sooo, Noriko-_chan_, how have you been?" I shoved Shikamaru roughly, walking away.

"Shut up, Shikamaru." I grunted, when he reached my side again.

"I'm just curious," Shikamaru sighed, "I knew you would be troublesome if I asked."

"Then why'd you bother? You _hate_ troublesome things." I muttered, glaring at nothing in particular.

"Like I said, I'm curious. It's not everyday someone hears _Gaara_ use 'chan'. To be honest, I'm positive it's a first." Shikamaru replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

I flushed again, stopping to press a finger to his lips and glanced around nervously. I half expected someone to jump out and attack me, someone like _Matsuri_.

"Shh! Someone will hear you!" I hissed but sighed again, "Come on, let's find somewhere to eat and I'll tell you."

Shikamaru nodded and followed after me in silence. After a few minutes I found a decently empty Bar-B-Que shop and shuffled him inside. We sat down, gave the waitress our order and when she returned with our drinks Shikamaru gave me a nod to speak. I sighed again, placing my cup on the table.

"I-It's not what _you're_ thinking." I grumbled, pausing as the waitress returned with the uncooked meat.

Shikamaru placed the food on the small grill before looking back expectantly.

"So what is it?" He asked, taking a sip from his drink.

"Ehh, It's a lot of explaining..." I said, hoping to deter him from asking more questions.

"Come on Noriko, stop stalling."

"You're too smart for my own good." I joked and he gave me a deadpan look.

"Alright, alright," I sighed, "So this is how it is."

* * *

"Mmm," I smiled, plopping another piece of beef into my mouth, "So then, I guess we became friends after that... At least I think we are... It was really embarrassing to have him use 'chan' in front of you. He's been using 'san' in front of everyone else. I really wasn't expecting that..."

"Maybe it's because you said we were friends." Shikamaru said helpfully and I nodded in half understanding.

"I guess so... But it would be bad if he does it and someone else overhears." I replied.

"Why's that?" Shikamaru asked, raising a piece of pork to his lips.

"He's the _Kazekage_, Shikamaru. And I'm his body guard. It would sound really bad if something like that got out. People would think..."

"But you are _just_ friends right? You shouldn't worry about what other people think." He sighed, taking a sip from his drink.

"It's not _me_ I'm worrying about. It's Gaara. Imagine how bad it would be for him if it got out." I argued, pointing my chopsticks at him.

"If Gaara wants to be your friend then you shouldn't worry about it. Think about it Noriko, you're probably the first person to _ever_ offer him friendship. Besides Naruto, but that baka doesn't count, he's friends with everyone." Shikamaru joked.

I frowned slightly.

"I... I guess I didn't think of it like that." I said, biting my lip.

"And besides all that, Gaara has the emotional capacity of an insect. He's new to all this, ya know?"

"Are you calling Gaara emotionally handicapped!" I shot out.

Shikamaru just chuckled, "Pretty much. He's been alone most of his life, hasn't he? He probably can't read peoples emotions all that well. It was only two years ago that he told me his soul purpose for living was to kill people."

"Gaara isn't like that now." I defended, frowning at him.

"Jeez. I'm not insulting him. I'm just saying the truth you troublesome woman." Shikamaru sighed, eating another piece of pork.

"I know how he was Shikamaru," I grumbled, "I lived in Suna. I know first hand... I know he's killed people but he's changed! I mean, he didn't kill me when we were training. I was scared, I thought I was going to die but..."

"But...?" Shikamaru pressed.

"But he didn't! And you didn't see the look in his eyes the first night I moved in! He looked so alone! It wasn't right. No one should look like that. It would be a lie to say that I never feared him but now... That's why I've made up my mind!" I said heatedly.

"Oh? About what?"

I blushed again, quickly stuffing my mouth with rice. Shikamaru raised a brow and I chewed my food slowly, buying myself time.

"Well?" Shikamaru asked when I swallowed.

"That's why... I've decided to make him realize he isn't alone..." I mumbled, stuffing my mouth again.

Shikamaru just nodded and I was thankful he didn't press the subject any farther. It sometimes paid off having such a smart friend.

* * *

"I'm back, Gaara-sama!" I called, knocking on the door to his office.

I waited a moment, confused as to why he didn't answer and jiggled the door handle.

"Locked?" I mumbled, "Oi! Gaara-sama!"

"Don't bother. He's talking to Kankuro-sama at the moment, asked not to let anyone in."

I glanced over my shoulder curiously and frowned at the ANBU leaning on the assistants desk.

"You should be in there. What if someone attacks Gaara-sama?" I growled, turning to face the man fully.

"Tch. Kankuro-sama is in there. I'm sure the two of them could fend off anyone who attacked. Besides, I'm sure Kazekage-sama wouldn't mind. It's been a while hasn't it?" He replied darkly.

"What're you trying to say?" I hissed, fingers inching towards my kunai holster.

"You're naive aren't you? How long have you been an ANBU for now? A month? Maybe two?" He asked casually, "I'm surprised you haven't encountered any assassin's yet."

My frown deepened, "You're speaking _illegally_ ANBU-san."

He shrugged a shoulder, "It's the truth, everyone knows it. What Kazekage-sama _really _is."

In a flash I had the man pinned against the wall, kunai at his neck. He chuckled but otherwise stayed still and my eyes caught his dark ones through the mask.

"You should not speak of Gaara-sama like that." I growled, pressing the kunai tighter.

"Oh? So you're one of _those_ people."

"What do you mean by that?" I snapped.

"You're scared of him aren't you? You figure it's easier to be an good little girl and hope he doesn't kill you." He mocked and I could hear the smirk in his tone.

"I'm not scared of Gaara-sama. I respect him." I clarified angrily.

I didn't pull away as the door to Gaara's office opened quietly.

"What are you doing you baka!" Kankuro shouted, walking closer.

"Nothing." I hissed, still not moving.

Apparently Kankuro took note of my kunai because he stopped walking closer and the air suddenly got tense. My frowned deepened when I heard another set of footsteps getting closer.

"Noriko-san?"

I flinched, looking towards Gaara before face the ANBU again. I growled in threat before taking a few steps back, dropping my arm to my side but didn't loosen my grip on the kunai I held.

"What's going on?" Kankuro asked, stepping up to my side.

"Like ANBU-san said. 'Nothing'," The man replied, cracking his neck, "I'll take my leave, since ANBU-san is back on duty."

And with that he disappeared in a puff of smoke. I gritted my teeth angrily, putting away the kunai I held. Kankuro grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around to face him. His face was furious, teeth grinding together.

"What was _that_?" He asked, grip tightening.

"Nothing. I'm sorry." I mumbled, bowing lowly.

Kankuro seemed slightly shocked by my reaction but I didn't pay it any mind.

"If you wouldn't mind releasing me, Kankuro-sama." I said easily.

Kankuro's hand dropped immediately and he frowned, turning to give Gaara an uneasy look. Gaara's eyes hadn't left me and I gazed back just as evenly through my mask. Kankuro looked between us before sighing.

"I'll let you deal with it Gaara." Kankuro said and left.

* * *

Gaara didn't ask me about the incident and went back to doing paperwork, leaving me to my own thoughts. I tried thinking of a million ways to tell him what happened but each idea was shot down quickly. I couldn't think of a way to word what happened that wouldn't offend him and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

_"But I need to report that man," _I thought angrily, blood still boiling over what he said, _"I can't worry about Gaara's feelings when his life could be at stake."_

"Ano... Gaara-kun?" I asked quietly.

Gaara stopped writing, lifting his eyes to my face and I removed my mask in hopes it was taken as a serious sign.

"Yes, Noriko-chan?" He murmured, resting his elbows on his desk and cupping his chin.

"Ano... I don't really know how to say this, without hurting your feelings..." I started, shifting on my feet, "But I think you should know this..."

"Noriko-chan, you mustn't worry about my emotions. If you don't wish to be friends anymore, I understand."

I blinked, shaking my head wildly.

"I-It's not that! You thought _that _was what I was going to say?" I asked in shock.

Gaara frowned slightly, now looking unsure.

"I did." He said quietly and I shook my head again.

_"He probably can't read peoples emotions all that well. It was only two years ago that he told me his soul purpose for living was to kill people." _Came Shikamaru's words.

"Don't be absurd!" I huffed, "I would never say something like that! It's... It's about what that ANBU and I were _talking_ about."

Gaara didn't say anything so I continued.

"It's... I'm reporting him," I said finally, "He said _illegal_ things about you Gaara-kun. And I can't sit back and allow someone to do something like that, without reporting them."

"Illegal things?" Gaara asked.

"Hai." I confirmed, nodding my head.

"What did ANBU-san say?" He asked, tilting his head in question.

"He... He mentioned... He all but said you were a monster!" I hissed, "He said he was surprised no one had attempted to assassinate you in a while! That's treason!"

"Is that all?" He asked calmly and I frowned.

"What do you mean "Is that all?"? What more is there?" I growled.

"He did not say anything false," Gaara answered, "I am a monster. And it has been a while since any attempts on my life have been made."

"B-But... You _aren't_ a monster, you're human! And how are you so lightly talking about people trying to _kill_ you?" I sputtered.

"I appreciate your... Concern... But-"

"_Concern_?" I spat, "It isn't just concern! As your body guard, no! As your _friend_, I think things like this shouldn't be so easily brushed off!" _  
_

"I have been dealing with attempts on my life since I was six." Gaara said, leaving me stunned.

"_Six_?" I whispered.

"Hai."

"T-That's... That's just _wrong_. Six? I-I can't believe it..."

"But it is true, Noriko-chan." Gaara replied.

"_Why_?" I asked.

"Because I am a monster. I do not hate ANBU-san for saying those things because they are true. Much of the village believes similarly."

"D-Don't say things like that..." I croaked, fighting to keep my tears at bay.

"But it is tr-"

"I said stop!" I shouted, hanging my head, "Don't say such stupid things!"

I let out a harsh sob, biting my lip until it broke skin. My hair fell over my face, keeping Gaara from seeing my tears but I was sure he could hear them. I licked away the blood, trying to calm myself by taking shaky breaths. I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, making sure my face was dry before looking back up at Gaara.

"Why are you crying, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked.

"B-Because it hurts," I said, clutching my cloak above my heart, "It hurts to hear you say those things."

"Why?" Gaara asked in confusion.

"Because nobody should say things like that. Nobody should think so lowly of themselves. Nobody should think they're so... Alone... You're the Kazekage! People respect you! It shouldn't matter what kind of past someone has! You... I know it has to _hurt_ when people say that! You aren't a stone! You're human! You have feelings too!"

"Feelings?" Gaara murmured.

"Hai! Feelings! You know? Happiness, sadness, anger, passion."

"I don't posses such feelings."

"You do!" I growled, "You're human! You just don't know what you're feeling! Because you've always been so alone! Loneliness is another emotion!"

"I'll reword myself. I do not posses the ability to show those emotions."

"But you do! I can see it! When I first moved in! When you looked at me, I _saw_ loneliness! And you laughed! That's happiness! And right now, right now you should be angry!" I growled, "You should be angry at that ANBU! You should be angry at the people who try to take your life! You should be angry with yourself for not caring! You should be angry at me for being so, so rude right now!"

"I'm not angry." Gaara said.

"Well I am!" I snapped, "I'm angry at _you_!"

"You're angry at me?" Gaara asked.

"Yeah, at _you_," I seethed, "Because you're taking this all so lightly!"

Gaara didn't say anything and I huffed again, turning my glare out the window behind him. When Gaara finally spoke, I looked back, still slightly miffed.

"I... I don't understand you, Noriko-chan." Gaara whispered.

"Then learn to," I muttered, "That's what friends do. They learn to understand each other."

"You... Remind me of someone." Gaara said, more to himself than me, I was sure.

"Who?" I questioned, curious.

"Uzumaki, Naruto."

I thought about what Shikamaru had told me about him.

_"Naruto is a total baka. But... He's a great person. He's always caring about everyone else, over himself."_

"You're calling me a baka?" I tried to joke.

Gaara frowned, shaking his head slowly.

"Uzumaki, Naruto changed me. He is a very determined person."

"I was joking," I sighed, "Shikamaru said that he's a huge baka but that he's also a great person."

"He is." Gaara agreed.

"So you're saying I'm a great person?" I joked again, happy with the change in mood, "You shouldn't say things that can inflate my ego."

"I believe you are, Noriko-chan... You seem to... Care, just like Uzumaki, Naruto. I... I hope to learn to understand you, as your friend." Gaara said, choosing his words carefully.

"Of course, Gaara-kun," I smiled warmly, "And I hope I learn to understand you."

"Ariga-"

"But first," I cut in, "I'm serious about this ANBU. You can't take it lightly."


	5. Chapter 5

**_"Mission One: Learn Gaara's Likes and Dislikes."_**

"Sooo... What's your favorite color?" I asked, lounging on the _new_ couch Gaara had put in his office.

_"Just for me."_ I grinned, though he hadn't said so.

"I don't know, Noriko-chan." Gaara answered seriously and I deadpanned.

"You're joking right?"

He shook his head and went back to work, scribbling away at the mountain of paperwork.

"Well I like light blue, like the color of y... The sky..." I blushed, changing the topic back to him, "Umm, how about red? Like your hair. Or black? Like the rings around your eyes."

"I'm not particularly fond of any color, Noriko-chan."

"Ohh... Well how about a hobby?" I asked hopefully.

"Hobby?" He asked back.

I nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah! A hobby! Something you do in your spare time, besides training. For example I like to..."

"You like to do what, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked curiously, pausing in his writing.

"I... Like to... Train?" I finished lamely, hoping he would drop it, but I have no luck and Kami-sama hates me.

"But you just said besides training, Noriko-chan."

"Ahhhahaha, yeah! But I don't have any free time! I spend all my time with you!" I chuckled nervously.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said after a pause, "I don't mean to take up your time."

"Ehh? No! It's not like that!" I practically shouted, "I have free time! And I like spending time with you! It's just... My hobby is really boring!"

"What is your hobby then, Noriko-chan?"

"Reading! Ahaha! See boring!" I replied, forcing myself to grin widely.

_"Dear Kami, if you please do one thing for me and keep him from asking wh-"_

"What genera do you enjoy?"

_"... Fuck you, Kami-sama..."_

"... R-ro... Romance..." I mumbled quietly, shoving my face into the couch.

_"Maybe he can't hear me. Between the mask and the couch, I should be safe."_

"Romance?"

**_"Mission One: Failure."_**

* * *

_**"Mission Two: Make Gaara Smile."**_

"I'll go get us lunch, while he's in his meeting." I mumbled, when my stomach growled again.

_"But what does he like?"_

I thought hard about it, frowning when I realized I truly had no idea. I'd seen him eat rice and vegetables and meat but it was prepared simply. Nothing fancy, nothing unique, nothing defining.

"GAH! He's so impossible!" I grumbled, gripping my hair tightly.

"Who is?"

"I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!" I shouted, jumping to pull Kankuro into a hug.

"W-What the fuck, Noriko! Get off me!" Kankuro shouted back, struggling out of my hug.

"Actually, I've never been happy to see you." I mused thoughtfully.

"G-Get off!"

"No! Not until you help me!" I said, tightening my grip, "Promise me you'll help me!"

"Fine, I promise! Just _get off_!" Kankuro grunted, giving me a harsh shove to the head.

"Jeez. No need to get so violent," I mumbled, rubbing the tender spot, "Anyway..."

"What is it?" Kankuro asked suspiciously, "You're not going to ask me to do anything weird, right?"

"Right," I grinned, "I just need you to tell me Gaara-sama's favorite food."

"Gaara's favorite food? Why?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Beeecauuuseeee, I thought it would be nice to go get us lunch why he was in a meeting." I nodded.

"Ohh. Umm," Kankuro scratched his head, "I don't know..."

"I knew better than to rely on you, baka!" I frowned, marching away before he could respond.

* * *

"Gaara's favorite food... Gaara's favorite food..." I chanted quietly as I walked past a few stalls, "I have no idea..."

"Ohayo, ANBU-san!" A merchant called, "Please! Try some dango!"

"Dango?" I questioned, walking up to the stall.

The delicious scent wafted upwards, causing my mouth to water and stomach to rumble.

"Ano... Can I buy some to go? I have to be getting back to work soon..." I trailed off.

"Please do, ANBU-san! But don't worry about the price! It's the least I can do for someone who protects the village! Just promise to come back and tell me what you think." He smiled, bowing his head slightly.

"If you're sure..." I nodded, accepting the package when he finished wrapping it, "I'll be sure to come back and tell you."

"Arigato, ANBU-san."

I bowed back, tucking the box under one arm and continued on my way. After a few more minutes I decided to just pick up two simple bento and hurried back to the office.

* * *

I stepped back from Gaara's desk and admired my work. It wasn't much but I arranged both bento, one on either side and had even managed to snag a chair so I could sit across from him. I had also made a fresh pot of tea, smiling as I tucked the box of dango under my seat.

"I should probably go meet him, he should be done." I grinned, hurrying out the door.

* * *

"Noriko-san."

I sighed, snuggling into my blanket tighter.

"Noriko-san, wake up."

"Five more minutes." I mumbled.

"Noriko-chan, you can sleep when we get back to my office. I don't think you would like to remain on the floor much longer."

"Huh?" I asked, blinking the sleep from my eyes, "Ohhh."

Gaara offered me a hand, pulling me up to my feet and I blushed, straightening my cloak around myself.

"Sorry, Gaara-sama. That was unprofessional." I bowed.

"No. I'm sorry, Noriko-chan. If I had known the meeting would last so long I would have told you to wait in my office." Gaara replied, turning and heading away.

I simply nodded as I followed after him.

* * *

"What's this?" Gaara asked when we finally reached his office.

I shifted in embarrassment, crossing my arms over my chest.

"It... It was lunch..." I trailed off awkwardly, "It's probably cold now... The tea is definately no good..."

"Lunch?" Gaara asked, walking around his desk and taking a seat.

"Uhh, yeah... I wanted to get us lunch... I don't really know what you like, so I figured I'd just buy simple bento's... And I think I've seen you drink tea before... But it's a waste now..." I mumbled, standing awkwardly in the center of the room.

Gaara motioned for me to take a seat as well and I shuffled over to his desk, plopping down in my chair.

"I'm sure it's fine." Gaara supplied, grabbing his chopsticks and breaking them apart.

I frowned, unsure but followed suit, removing my mask and placing it on his desk. I waited quietly, watching as Gaara lifted a cold piece of beef to his lips and placed it on his tongue. He chewed silently and I held my breath, waiting for him to spit it out. Instead he raised a clump of rice next, chewing again.

"Aren't you hungry as well, Noriko-chan?" He questioned, reaching for the cup of cold tea.

"Oh, right! Itadakimasu!" I chirped, digging into the food.

We ate in silence and though the food wasn't great, it wasn't terrible either. The cold tea on the other hand was awful and I found myself snatching both of our cups away, rushing to make a new pot. When we finished, I smiled, patting my stomach and leaned back in my chair. The movement caused something to shift and I looked down to see a half crushed box of dango.

"Oh!" I mumbled, reaching down and grabbing it, "I also have dango! The shop owner gave it to me for free! As long as I go back and tell him how it is!"

I placed the box on his desk, unwrapping it carefully and grinned when none of the yummy treats were squashed as well. I grabbed two sticks, handing one to Gaara and began to munch happily on my own. Gaara nibbled his carefully and I figured he wasn't used eating sweet things.

_"Or maybe he doesn't like it."_

"You don't have to eat it if it tastes bad." I said, taking out another stick.

"It... Isn't bad, Noriko-chan. I'm just thinking." Gaara answered, taking a sip of his tea.

"About what, Gaara-kun?"

"I just wanted to say arigato, Noriko-chan. You did not have to do this."

"I know," I smiled, "But I wanted to. That's what friends do."

I watched his face intently as he went back to nibbling and my heart began to swell with pride. The corner's of Gaara's lips twitched upwards, invisible if one didn't know to look for it.

**_"Mission Two:_ Success."**

* * *

_**"Mission Three: Make Gaara Laugh**_**." **

_"I wonder if Gaara would laugh if I told him a joke." _I mused, trying to think of all the ones I knew.

The only jokes that came to mind had been told to me by my old Jounin-sensei, Satoshi. I frowned. All of his jokes had been crude, violent and not the least bit funny.

* * *

_"Why don't shinobi take showers, Noriko-chan?"_

_"I don't know Satoshi-sensei. Why not?"_

_"Because, shinobi only take _blood_ bathes! Ahahaha!"_

* * *

I grimaced. There was no way I would _ever_ tell Gaara a joke like _that_. Even if I _did_, I knew Gaara would probably take it literally and try to answer it. I thought of what he had laughed at a over a month ago and my only conclusion was that he had been laughing at _me_. Me being childish and stupid and tired.

_**"Mission Three: Aborted." **_

* * *

_**"Mission Four: Do Something Fun With Gaara."**_

"Ano, Gaara-kun. Why don't we go do something fun today!" I smiled, "The council has made you take the day off, so it will probably be our only chance for another two months!"

Gaara glanced up from his breakfast, chewing quietly and wiped his mouth. He placed the napkin back on his lap and I was vaguely aware that he had better etiquette than anyone else I had ever seen. For most of my life I had either eaten alone or with other shinobi, neither times had etiquette been necessary or important.

"Something fun, Noriko-chan?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Yeah! Something fun! Unless... Unless you already had plans... Which is understandable. You _are_ the Kazekage!" I said quickly.

"I only planned to go to the baths, Noriko-chan." Gaara replied.

"Ohhh. Okay. Well next time then!" I hummed, slightly dejected.

"You are welcome to join me, Noriko-chan." Gaara said, as I took a rather large bit of my food.

I choked, hitting my chest harshly with a fist and wheezed when the food finally went down. A large blush, a combination of choking and the mental images, crossed my face and I shook my head 'no' quickly. Gaara raised a brow in question and I blushed again.

"You don't wish to go, Noriko-chan?"

"I-I, It's indecent!" I sputtered, trying to save myself, "What-What if someone sees!"

"It's not a problem, Noriko-chan. I have my own private bath." Gaara replied calmly.

"S-Still! Boy's and girl's shoul-shouldn't bathe together! People will think things!" I rushed.

"Think things?" Gaara asked.

"H-Hai, _things_." I muttered in embarrassment.

"I didn't know you cared what others thought." Gaara said easily, taking a sip from his cup.

"I-I don't!" I all but flailed, "B-But..."

"I don't understand the problem, Noriko-chan."

_"You wouldn't."_

"It-It's just, you take baths... _unclothed_." I mumbled, blushing again.

"Hai. That is how I have always taken baths," Gaara confirmed, making me blush deeper, "Is that wrong?"

_"Mortified. I am mortified right now."_

"N-No..."

"Then would you like to join me, Noriko-chan?"

_"He doesn't even realize what he is saying. Does he not understand the difference between boys and girls?" _I thought, sighing aloud, _"Probably not..."_

"Noriko-chan?"

"H-Hai?"

"Do you wish to join me, Noriko-chan?" He asked again, placing his cup on the table.

"I..."

_"What's the worst that can happen? I... I can go in first... And tell Gaara not to look... M-Maybe it will be okay?"_

"O-Okay..." I trailed off, giving Gaara a weak smile when the corners of his lips twitched.

_"This is going to end badly."_

* * *

I shuffled into the changing room behind Gaara, towel held firmly against my chest. I was slightly surprised, and extreamly happy, when I noticed the bath house was empty of even servants but now came the hard part. I glanced around, looking for a changing stall and when I saw none the blood in my face drained.

"A-Ano, Gaara-kun...?" I asked, turning back to look at him.

My breath caught in my throat and I mentally slapped myself for staring. Gaara had his back to me, his _bare_ back and I pinched myself, looking away quickly.

_"I... I didn't know he was so..."_

'Built? Beautiful? Gorgeous? Sexy?' Inner me said helpfully and I frowned, wishing I could slap her (me).

"Hai? Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked, throwing a questioning look over his shoulder.

_"I'm going to die. It's a premature death and I still haven't accomplished my goals. But hopefully, Kami-sama has pity on me and I can come back as a deadly spider or snake or something..." _

"Ahh... W-Why don't you go in first? I-I need to use the bathroom..." I mumbled lamely, turning away again when he started undoing the tie of his pants.

"The bathroom is down the hall." Gaara said helpfully.

"Arigato..." I muttered, all but running from the room.

When I reached the bathroom I slammed the door closed, leaning against it and taking deep breaths. I hugged my towel tighter, walking a few steps to look at myself in the mirror. I took in my reflection and frowned. My cheeks were still dusted pink and pieces of my white hair stuck out randomly from it's long ponytail. My gold eyes shimmered and tan skin shone in the bright light and I placed my towel on the edge of the sink carefully.

"I might as well undress in here..." I trailed off, pulling my long bath house dress over my head.

I folded it neatly, placing it next to my towel and frowned at my body. It wasn't anything special. I didn't have a large chest but it suited me fine. I also had a slim figure, from all of the years of vigorous training but in the last two months I had gained a little weight and I poked my stomach. My finger made a small dent and I frowned again.

"I'm getting fat..." I mumbled dejectedly, "I bet Gaara doesn't like fat girls..."

I lifted my gaze back to my face, slightly shocked as to why I said that. I frowned again, slapping my cheek lightly and shook my head. I quickly took my hair down, brushing my fingers through it to calm the tangles. When I decided it was decently smooth or as smooth as it was going to get, I wrapped the towel around me tightly and picked up my dress. I shuffled out the door, hoping I wasn't gone for too long and when I entered the changing room I tucked my dress and shoes away in a cubby.

_"Now or never." _I thought, mentally preparing myself.

I slid open the door to the bath quietly and sighed in happiness when the warm steam caressed my face.

_"This isn't so bad. I doubt he can even see me through all of this." _I nodded, cautiously walking to the edge of the bath.

I glanced around, taking note that Gaara was nowhere to be seen. I leaned over the edge of the bath slightly, trying to peer into the steam for his mop of red hair.

"Where is he?" I wondered aloud.

"I'm sorry, Noriko-chan, I went to get warm stones and towels."

"IYA!" I shrieked, falling face first into the warm water, towel and all.

Hot water rushed into my mouth and up my nose and I choked, coughing harshly as I was suddenly tugged upwards. I sputtered, reaching out to grab the edge of the bath to keep me from slipping again and squeaked when my fingers grasped something decidedly _not_ stone. I tried jumping back but firm fingers gripped my upper arm tightly, keeping me from escaping.

"Are you okay, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked, eyes peering into mine, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I-I'm fine! Y-You can let go!" I shouted, taking a few steps back when he released me.

I clutched the edge tightly, hanging my head to hide my blush as I took deep, calming breaths. When I finally trusted myself to not do something stupid again I glanced over, practically falling again when I noticed how close he still was. I chuckled nervously, turning towards him swiftly and scratched the back of my neck, eyes closed.

"Ehehe. Sorry, Gaara-kun!"

Gaara didn't answer so I opened my eyes to see if I had made him mad. Instead I noticed Gaara's eyes weren't looking at mine and I frowned, following his gaze downwards.

_"O-Ohhh." _

I dropped to my neck in the hot water quickly, blushing and turning my face away from his stare.

"S-Sorry, I-I dropped my towel." I mumbled again, eyes betraying me as they turned back towards him.

Gaara shook his head slowly, "It's fine, Noriko-chan."

Gaara reached out and I flinched slightly but frowned at myself when I noticed him grabbing my soaking towel. He wrung it out once before placing it over a rock to dry and I dropped my mouth under the water, blowing bubbles to distract myself from his body. After a few minutes we were both settled in the hot water, a comfortable silence over us. Gaara was slightly leaned back, eyes closed with a towel resting over his forehead.

I took this time to selfishly allow my eyes to cover every inch of his visible body. His pale skin was flushed a light pink from the heat and small droplets of moisture rolled down his neck, collecting on his collarbone.

_"It makes me want to-"_

'Lick it off right?' Inner me giggled and I frowned.

_"I'm not a pervert, you are." _I hissed back.

Inner me just rolled her eyes, 'I _am_ you, baka.'

I frowned at the logic.

_"That's is _not_ what I want to do." _I grumbled internally.

'Is so,' She giggled again, 'You want to do _all_ kinds of dirty things to him.'

"I DO NOT!" I shouted, flinching when I realized I said it out loud.

Gaara opened his eyes, turning to face me slightly with a confused look.

"Are you okay, Noriko-chan?" He called, moving closer and removing the towel from his forehead.

...Which caused the water on his collarbone to roll down his chest in small rivers.

"I-I'm fine!" I rushed, blushing darkly.

"Are you sure? You look slightly flushed. Is the water too hot, Noriko-chan? We can leave-" Gaara said, making to stand up.

"NO!" I shouted, causing him to pause, "I'm fine! Really! This water is amazing, ne? I just- I'm fine! Really! Please! Do sit down Gaara-kun!"

Gaara gave what I assumed was a frown of confusion, slowly lowering himself back in the water. I let out a sigh of relief, blowing across the top of the water. Gaara continued to stare at me for a long while and I wondered what he was thinking.

_"He probably thinks I'm crazy. I know _I _would think that after this."_

"Am I offending you, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked lightly.

"Huh?"

"If... If you somehow find me offensive, we can leave, Noriko-chan." Gaara said.

"Find you... Offensive...?" I asked stupidly, "You aren't even saying anything... How could you offend me...?"

"Maybe 'repulsive' is the word I was looking for." Gaara mused quietly.

"Repulsive?" I repeated, frowning.

"I don't g- Ohhh..."

_"He means physically..."_

Gaara cocked his head slightly as if to repeat the question and I frowned, sitting up a little.

"I-It's nothing like _that_, Gaara-kun!" I said assuredly.

'Quite the opposite!' Inner me laughed.

"I don't understand." Gaara said, leaning closer.

"I don't find you... "repulsive"," I mumbled, reaching up and combing my hair over my shoulder, "Why would you think that?"

"You seemed to object to the idea of bathing with me, Noriko-chan. You did not have to force yourself to come," Gaara answered, "Kankuro told me that friends sometimes share baths together. That is why I asked you to join me. Was he wrong?"

"No..." I said, "F-Friends do share baths together... But not usually boys and girls..."

"No? Could you explain it to me, Noriko-chan? I don't understand. I thought it didn't matter whether or not a friend was male or female."

"I-It doesn't..." I agreed, "But... Well... Boys and girls have different... _Anatomy_... So they don't normally share baths..."

_"Yes. Anatomy is a safe word."_ I nodded to myself, happy with my wording.

"Different anatomy?"

_"For the love of Kami-sama. Gaara is _too_ fucking innocent! When we get back, I'm going to_ demand_ Kankuro give him the talk already!_"

"Yeah... Like... Um... Maybe you could ask Kankuro?" I asked hopefully.

"Do you mean like the manga Kankuro reads?" Gaara asked instead.

"W-What manga?" I asked, already fearing the answer.

"I'm not sure, Noriko-chan. 'Icha-Icha' something. He gave them to me before but I don't find them interesting. I don't understand how having different anatomy means we can't share a bath."

_"WHAT THE FUCK KANKURO! YOU GAVE YOUR UNDERAGE BROTHER, THE _KAZEKAGE_, PORN? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!... Wait... Yes I can, YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!" _

"Umm," I flushed again, "Well I mean... I guess it isn't a big deal..."

_"YES IT IS!"_

"But you sa-"

"I know what I said!" I snapped, frowning at my harsh tone, "I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to snap Gaara-kun... It's just... I guess I've never shared a bath with someone of the opposite gender before... It's kind of embarrassing..."

"Embarrassing? Why?" Gaara asked curiously, glancing downwards at my body.

I flushed for the millionth time that day, praying the steam and water kept my body hidden well.

"I-I've never had someone of the opposite gender see me... _Naked_ before..." I said quietly.

"I don't see anything wrong with your body, Noriko-chan," Gaara replied, "I find it interesting."

"I-Interesting?" I croaked.

"I have only ever seen Kankuro and myself," Gaara explained innocently, "You're different. Uzumaki, Naruto has taught me that different things can be interesting."

_"I'm going to drown myself now."_

* * *

Leaving the bath had been almost as embarrassing as entering. Gaara had easily climbed out, not even _trying_ to hide himself and rubbed a towel to his red hair to dry it. I tried to look away in time but apparently I wasn't quick enough because I caught a full view of his-

'Rather delicious!' Inner me cheered.

-Back side. I really _did_ try to drown myself after that but Gaara had called out, asking me if I was okay _again_ and I figured it would be considered rude to commit suicide in the Kazekage's private bath. I all but jumped out, grabbing my still wet towel from before, wrapped it tightly, grabbed my clothes and rushed to the bathroom to dress. When I was done I went back to the changing room to meet a, thankfully full clothed, Gaara and we headed back to his house.

And now. Now we were sitting in the kitchen, along with Kankuro and Temari, with lunch and I was silently trying to send Gaara wavelengths to not say _anything_ about where we had been. It don't think it was working very well because Gaara wasn't even looking at me.

"So where did you guys go this morning?" Kankuro asked, stuffing his mouth with rice.

"We went to my private bath." Gaara answered easily and I contemplated stabbing myself with a chopstick.

_"Then they can take me to the hospital and we can postpone this conversation. Or I can leave the village after I'm better. Become a missing-nin. Then never have the conversation at all." _

"B-Bath?" Kankuro sputtered and Temari seemed just as shocked.

"Hai." Gaara replied, chewing his food carefully.

"T-Together? You guys bathed t-together?" Temari asked, giving me a quick glance before she turned back to her brother.

"Hai."

"O-Ohh... Whose idea was it?" Kankuro asked, sending me an accusing glare.

"Mine. Noriko-chan mentioned she wanted to do something fun today. You told me friends share baths and they can be enjoyable." Gaara said, taking another bite of his food.

"'C-Chan'? 'Friends'?"

_"Oh Kami! Now they know. They're going to kill me."_

I didn't even bother to hide my face, I just dug into my food quickly, hoping that maybe if I ate fast enough I could excuse myself and say my stomach hurt.

"Hai, Kankuro. Noriko-chan and I are friends, at least I believe so. Am I correct, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked, placing his chopsticks on the table.

I glanced up from my plate, nodding my head and swallowed, "H-Hai. I believe we are..."

Temari frowned, eyes looking over me carefully and I gave her a weak smile. Kankuro just continued to glare accusingly, as if I was some hustling tramp or fangirl. Like I was _Matsuri_. I glared back, pouting slightly. Temari suddenly let out a sigh and I turned back to look at her. She shook her head lightly, turning back towards Gaara and gave him a small smile.

"So did you enjoy yourself then Gaara?" She asked, taking a drink of her tea.

"It was pleasant." Gaara nodded.

"And you, Noriko? Did you... Enjoy yourself? I hope Gaara didn't... I hope you had fun as well?" She asked, slightly unsure.

"I had fun," I smiled, "The conversation was interesting to say... The least. Which reminds me Kankuro-sama... Does Temari-sama know you gave Gaara-sama 'Icha-Icha' manga?"

Temari's eyes shot towards her first brother and I could practically see an evil aura wafting off of her. Kankuro glared but chuckled nervously when he looked at his sister.

"Ehehe, i-it's not like that Temari!" Kankuro shouted, "Y-You told me to- I just couldn't think of what to say! I-I-You should have talked to Gaara yourself if you aren't happy with it!"

"Kankuro," Temari's tone even gave me a chill, "We'll _talk_ later."

"B-But Temari!"

"_Later_, Kankuro-baka."

I grinned widely, giving Gaara a sly wink but I don't think he understood. He just watched the exchange with curious eyes and I wondered if this display was common. I had never really seen all three siblings together before. Most of the time Gaara worked late, sometimes we didn't even return until the early hours of the morning and if we did return early Temari was usually out. Kankuro was the only sibling, besides Gaara, that I interacted with but he and Gaara seemed to have a quite serious relationship.

I smiled again, going back to eating my lunch as I watched them. It was refreshing to see a family together and I felt myself longing for one of my own. With a Kaa-chan and To-chan and possibly siblings to share my time with. I wondered how my life would have turned out if nothing bad had happened when I was born. Would I be happy? Would I be sitting with my own family, enjoying them bicker with each other while I ate? Would I have ever met Gaara?

I sighed, _"Maybe life isn't so bad right now. I did have a fun day... Awkwardness aside."_

_**"Mission Four: ...Success..."**_


	6. Chapter 6

"What's going on between you and Gaara?" Temari asked, shutting my bedroom door behind her.

"Nothing's going on between Gaara-sama and I." I frowned, crossing my legs on my bed.

"Don't _lie_ to me," Temari hissed, stalking towards me, "What are you trying to do? What do you _want_ from him?"

"What do I _want_ from him? Nothing! Can't I be his friend without wanting something?" I growled, fingers curling into fists.

"If you haven't noticed, _Noriko-chan_, people don't just become friends with Gaara." Temari said hotly.

"Then people don't know what they're missing out on," I huffed, crossing my arms, "I _like_ Gaara. I like being his friend. I _know_ it's wrong. I'm his personal guard and I shouldn't but... I just don't care..."

Temari and I stared at each other for a long time, neither wanting to give in first but something in her look seemed hopeful. She sighed, motioning for me to scoot over and I obliged. She sat on the edge of my bed, resting her elbows on her knees but didn't completely relax.

"If you're serious about being his friend-"

"I am!" I interjected but she ignored me.

"-Then you have to promise me something, Noriko." She said lowly, turning her eyes back on mine.

"Hai, Temari-sama." I nodded enthusiastically.

"Promise me, that no matter what you'll keep him safe. There are a lot of people in this village who have it out for him... No matter if it costs you your life you have to keep him safe."

"I promise. I'm his personal guard, my life is only worth something as long as he's alive."

Temari didn't say anything as she left my room and I was fine with that. I had too much on my mind to hold a conversation now anyway. I sighed, lying back in my bed and pulled my covers up over my head. Everything was starting to become so complicated. I felt as if Temari and Kankuro knew something I didn't. Both were high-strung, as if at any given moment someone was going to jump out and try to kill Gaara.

"But I wont allow it," I murmured quietly, "As his guard, but foremost as his friend."

I snuggled deeper into my blanket, curling my legs up and sighed again.

_"No matter what."_ I promised silently.

* * *

"...Nor...?"

_"Ugh! Why did Temari have to say things like that!"_

"..ko-cha...?"

_"I feel like I'm on full alert! Every little noise is making me jump!"_

"...riko..."

_"This is stupid! Ugh! I'm going to go insane!"_ I growled, shaking my head.

"Noriko-chan."

I flinched, turning towards Gaara with a nervous chuckle.

"Ahaha... Sorry, Gaara-kun... You were calling me...?" I asked.

"You seemed to be in deep thought, Noriko-chan. Is everything alright?" Gaara asked, cocking his head slightly.

"Ahh, um, yeah! Everything's fine! Just a little tired I guess," I waved off, "Is there something you needed?"

"No. I'm finished for the day."

"Eh? Really? But it's still daylight out!" I exclaimed stupidly.

"Hai. I finished early."

I grinned widely, jumping up from the couch, "That's great news! So we're heading home, ne?"

"Hai."

* * *

When we exited the building my nerves went into overdrive. I was suddenly suspicious of every person who walked by, regardless if they were a shinobi or not. The only thing I could think of was Temari's duel meaning from the night before and I prayed I was taking it too literally.

"Come on Gaara-sama. Why don't we hurry, ne?" I asked, "I'm sure we can make it in time for dinner if we do."

"I don't mind our pace, Noriko-san." Gaara murmured.

I frowned slightly but suddenly jumped into action as someone called out loudly. I moved in front of Gaara, hand resting on my kunai pouch and crouched slightly, prepared for an attack. When nothing happened, I frowned again, straightening my stance and looked around. A few yards away from where we stood a small child lay on the ground, clutching at his knee in pain.

"Let's go check on him." I mumbled without facing Gaara.

He followed me silently, staying a few feet away when I reached the small boy.

"Are you alright?" I asked, crouching down next to him.

The boy looked up at me with large, tear soaked eyes and a trembling lip. He shook his head slowly, wincing when I helped him sit up. The boy continued to hold his knee tightly as he let out tiny sobs and I carefully covered his hands with my own, moving them away. I winced when I noticed the rather deep cut and removed my cloak, dabbing at the blood.

"It's okay." I murmured softly, trying to comfort him.

"I-It hurts!" The boy cried out as I held the cloth a little tighter.

"Would you like me to fix it?" I asked, smiling slightly at his surprised look.

He gave another slow nod, biting his lip when I pulled the cloth away.

"This won't hurt." I promised, concentrating my chakra.

My right hand glowed a bright white and I placed my palm over his knee gently. He cried out again but I shushed him softly, telling him to watch. The skin on his knee slowly began to knit itself back together and he stared in amazement. When it was completely healed, I wiped away the remainder of the blood and helped him to his feet.

"How does it feel?" I asked, ruffling his hair.

He touched the spot and when I knew he felt no pain, he turned a wide grin towards me.

"Arigato, ANBU-chan!" He cheered happily, turning and running off.

I smiled after him, turning back towards Gaara. His eyes rested on mine as I folded my cloak under my arm. I motioned for him to follow me as we continued on our way, trying to keep myself from wincing.

"That wasn't medical ninjutsu." Gaara said eventually.

"You're right, Gaara-sama," I nodded as we reached the gates to his home, "It wasn't."

"What was it then?" Gaara asked as we made our way inside.

"Would you mind getting me a medical kit, Gaara-kun?" I asked, hobbling into the living room.

Gaara gave me a questioning look but headed away. I made myself comfortable on the couch, dropping my dirty cloak and mask on the table. I propped my left leg up, removing my ANBU armor and slowly began to roll the black spandex up my leg. Gaara returned quickly, placing the medical kit on the couch next to me and watched. When it finally reached my knee I bit my lip, pulling the material over it quickly.

Blood dripped down my knee and I hurried to grab my cloak and stop it before I stained something. I pressed it tightly to the wound with one hand and opened the medical kit with the other, pulling out some ointments. I opened the container carefully, dipping my fingers in to gather a large amount. When I pulled my cloak away again, I slathered the ointment on the wound, hissing as it stung.

"My Kekkei Genkai." I mumbled, as Gaara opened his mouth.

"Your Kekkei Genkai?" Gaara asked as I pulled out some gauze and began binding the wound.

"Hai," I nodded, tying the gauze tightly, "My Kekkei Genkai."

"I don't understand." Gaara murmured and I looked up, giving him a grin.

"It's weird isn't it?" I joked, leaning back against the couch, "It's not particularly helpful, like the Sharingan or Byakugan. Definately not battle worthy or anything but I guess it's alright."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not something special. It's like a cheap, knock off version of medical ninjutsu I guess," I laughed lightly, "I can take the damaged or dead cells of another and replace them with my own. But their cells don't just disappear, though that _would_ be nice, instead I take on the persons damaged cells. That's why I have the wound that boy had earlier."

"Why did you heal him then, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked quietly, eyes gazing into mine, "If it only causes you pain."

"Heh, I couldn't let that little Gaki run home hurt like that, could I?" I asked lightly, "Besides, he probably thinks I'm really cool now, ne? Maybe he'll become a shinobi one day and I can be his hero or something. It's not that bad."

"Your injury looked worse than his." Gaara stated, lips twitching in a slight frown.

"My fault," I waved off, "I shouldn't have wiped his blood away to begin with. I had to replace the cells that weren't there anymore, so it made my wound a little deeper. No big deal, Gaara-kun."

Gaara didn't look entirely convinced so I excused myself, grabbing up my things and heading to my room to change. I placed my soiled cloak in the wash on the way and put the medical kit back in the bathroom. When I got to my room I stripped down, careful not to touch my knee and pulled on a loose shirt and shorts. When I got back down stairs both Kankuro and Gaara were in the kitchen.

"Mmm, what's for dinner?" I asked excitedly, grabbing a plate and sniffing at the pot on the stove.

"Temari made curry," Kankuro grimaced, "I got takeout. Don't worry."

"I'm sure it's not _that_ bad." I said, removing the lid.

"Go ahead then, help yourself. But don't say I didn't warn you." Kankuro laughed, grabbing a takeout box and taking a seat at the table.

"I won't," I huffed childishly, ladling some curry over rice, "What about you Gaara-kun?"

"I'm fine." Gaara said, grabbing another box off the counter.

"You too?" I asked, frowning slightly as I sat with them.

"Well, go on." Kankuro joked, shoveling noodles into his mouth.

"Itadakimasu..." I said quietly, breaking apart my chopsticks as Gaara and Kankuro stared at me.

My frown deepened as I stared at the food. It didn't _look_ bad, it had a normal orange color and it didn't _smell_ bad, if anything vaguely mild. I turned my eyes back up to their expectant stares and I almost laughed.

_"I've never seen Gaara look so cautious and curious before."_

"Stop staring, it's rude." I grumbled, stabbing my chopsticks into the food and shoveling it into my mouth.

I closed my eyes chewing thoughtfully and fought the grimace that tried to break through. I swallowed noisily, shoveling more of the "food" into my mouth. I refused to prove Kankuro right, I would rather die.

"It's good." I finally managed.

"You really like it?" Kankuro asked in surprise and I nodded.

"To each their own I guess..." Kankuro shrugged, going back to his own food.

Gaara continued to stare at me and I pouted.

_"Bastard probably knows I don't like it."_

"What?" I snapped in annoyance, going to put more food in my mouth.

I frowned when my chopsticks hit the table, looking down to see my plate wasn't there. I looked to my left, noticing my plate floating towards the trashcan, sand swirling under it. The sand suddenly disappeared, dropping the food (plate and all) into the can.

"I was going to eat that... And you didn't have to throw the plate away..." I muttered, turning to glare at Gaara.

"I would prefer if you didn't." Gaara replied coolly, pushing his box of food towards me.

"I don't want that." I mumbled.

"Please, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked and I found myself flushing slightly.

"...What are you going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry." Gaara replied, placing his chopsticks on the table.

"_Bullshit_," I whispered to myself, "We can share."

Before Gaara could say otherwise I got up from the table and grabbed a new plate, emptying half of the box of noodles. I placed the plate in front of Gaara and sat back in my seat. Kankuro looked up from his own food curiously, raising an eyebrow. When I shrugged he gave a half grin, ignoring us again.

"Arigato, Gaara-kun." I said quietly, taking a bite of the noodles.

* * *

"Why don't we watch a movie?" Kankuro proposed after dinner, "There's this new horror flick that I've really wanted to see and it finally came out on video."

"Sure, why not?" I agreed, patting my stomach, "I haven't seen a movie in a while."

"Alright, I'll set it up." Kankuro grinned.

I smiled slightly as Gaara and I followed after him. He was definately being pleasant and I couldn't say I hated his change in mood.

_"I wonder if it has to do with Gaara and I being friends?"_

"Hey, I didn't ask you earlier but what happened to your knee?" Kankuro asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

I glanced down before looking back at Kankuro and chuckled slightly.

"Ehehe. I tripped earlier today, I guess I am a klutz. You were right, I don't know how I became an ANBU." I joked, hoping to leave it at that.

I caught Gaara's confused look from the corner of my eye and prayed he'd just keep silent.

"Noriko-chan, you did-"

"I _tr__ipped_!" I said harshly, cutting him off, "I know, I know. It's embarrassing and I don't like to admit it but it's _true_."

Kankuro paused in what he was doing, looking up to give me a suspicious stare. I grinned back, vaulting myself over the back of the couch and snuggled down. Kankuro gave me a frown before turning back to his task.

"Come on, Gaara-kun! Sit down!" I smiled, patting the empty space next to me.

Gaara's lips tugged downwards again as he accepted the seat and I drew my knees up to give him plenty of room. When Kankuro finally finished he switched off the light and made himself comfortable in the arm chair to the left. The TV screen buzzed blue for a moment, switching to black as the movies theme song began to blare.

* * *

"Don't go in _there_ you, baka." I hissed quietly, hugging my knees to my chest.

My heart pounded loudly as I watched the main actress slowly open the door and I let out a sigh of relief when nothing jumped out at her. The theme song began playing lowly and I frowned as a dark shadow passed behind her. She took a few more steps into the room, closing the door.

**"Is anybody in here?" **She called and I gulped.

Her hand reached for the light switch and it flickered on in a dull yellow. A quiet 'buzz' filled the room and I immediately knew something was wrong.

"You, _baka_." I said quietly.

**"Hello? Takumi-kun?" **

_"He's already dead, bakayaro,"_ I answered silently, _"Just get out of there!"_

**"Takumi-kun? I don't find this** **funny," **The woman said nervously, **"Just come out already."**_  
_

I watched intently as she slowly glanced around the room and bit my lip as she took a few more steps inside. Something off-screen creaked and my fingers clenching tighter in my shorts. The woman gave out a small gasp, turning around quickly but nothing was there. I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I was holding. The woman did as well, laughing slightly as she patted her cheek.

**"And now I'm scaring myself."** She mumbled quietly and I nodded in agreement.

Suddenly a hand shot out, grabbing her shoulder and spun her around. I echoed her loud scream, which in turn was echoed by Kankuro's. I shut my eyes tightly, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself and when I opened my eyes the film was off and the lights were back on. I turned around to see Gaara dropping his hand from the switch.

"W-Why'd you turn it off?" I croaked, "It was just getting good."

Gaara's invisible brows knit together and his eyes narrowed a bit.

"Yeah Gaara, it was just getting good." Kankuro agreed, letting out a shaky laugh.

"I thought you were scared, Noriko-chan." Gaara said unsure.

"I was," I mumbled, "But that's the point of a horror movie, to scare you."

"You enjoy being scared?" Gaara asked, now completely confused.

"Well, not really... But it's part of the thrill. It makes your heart pound and your blood rush. It's exciting." I explained the best I could.

Gaara still didn't seem to understand.

"Weren't you scared?" I asked, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"No."

"Oh... Well... Haven't you ever been scared before?"

Gaara didn't answer.

_"He's probably not scared of anything."_

"Gaara isn't scared of anything, Noriko," Kankuro supplied, confirming my thoughts, "But anyway, let's continue. I want to see how this ends."

I continued staring at Gaara, wondering what it would be like to never be afraid before turning back towards Kankuro.

"Sure. Me too." I nodded.

* * *

"That was pretty good," Kankuro said when the movie ended, "I wasn't expecting the killer to be Takumi."

"Me either!" I said excitedly, "I was sure it was that Hajiro guy! He gave me the creeps."

Kankuro laughed in agreement as we walked up the stairs. When we reached the top, I stopped, giving Gaara and him a large smile.

"Well, I'm off to-" I yawned, covering my mouth, "-bed. I'm tired and I'm sure we have a busy day tomorrow, Gaara-kun."

"Night." Kankuro replied, opening the first door to the left and stepped into his room.

"Goodnight!" I smiled as he closed the door.

I turned towards Gaara and stopped my goodnight short when I noticed his stare.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"Why did you lie to Kankuro, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked back.

I sighed, motioning for him to follow me. When we entered my bedroom I blushed slightly at its messiness. I hurriedly gathered the scrolls and books off my bed, stuffing them into my nightstand drawer. I chuckled slightly, turning back towards Gaara but his small frown remained in place.

"Umm," I started lamely, "Well you see... My Kekkei Genkai... It's not _really_ a secret, I guess... But not many people know what it is... And Baki and I both agree that it's best that way, especially now..."

"Why?"

"You're so curious, Gaara-kun," I muttered, sighing again, "I wouldn't really _care_ if people know about it but I'm your personal guard. It's different now..."

"What do you mean it's different now?" Gaara asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

_"You can be really stupid when you want to be, Gaara."_

"It's different now because I _am_ your guard, Gaara-kun," I said in exasperation, "Before it didn't matter if people knew or not but _now _it does. Didn't you ever wonder why Baki asked me to be your guard? It isn't just because I'm your age or anything, it's really because I have _this_ Kekkei Genkai specifically. I'm your trump card, Gaara-kun."

"Trump card?"

"Hai. I'm your secret. My main job isn't just to protect you Gaara-kun. Well it _is_ but not just by fighting for you. I'll give you an example," I said, taking a seat on the edge of my bed, "Let's say, for some reason, I can't protect you. There are too many enemies or whatever and you end up mortally wounded. It's my job to do whatever I can to reach you and use my Kekkei Genkai to save you. Even if you die, I can bring you back. I'll exchange my life for yours if I have to, it's my duty. That's the reason why it's kind of a secret now. If the wrong people were to know that, then they would most likely kill me first and then I would be useless to you."

Gaara didn't say anything as he stared at me but I noticed his eyes seemed a little wider than usual, lips tugged down fully.

_"This is the first time I've ever seen him actually frown."_

"It's not that big of a deal." I laughed, trying to put him at ease.

"Don't say that." Gaara said harshly and I was surprised by the tone.

"What? Why not? It's true. I don't mind dying for you," I tried to joke, "It would have been a problem if you were a jerk but I like you and you're important to everyone so-"

"Stop!" Gaara demanded and I snapped my mouth shut.

Gaara's eyes closed and his hands reached upwards to his hair, he gripped the red locks, giving a harsh tug.

"H-Hey! Don't do that!" I said, jumping up to pull his hands away.

When my fingers gripped his arm, he stilled, eyes snapping open. I dropped my hand immediately, taking a few steps back.

"W-Why?" Gaara croaked, fingers still tight in his hair.

"Why what?" I asked seriously.

"Why... Why would you die for me, Noriko-chan?" He asked, tugging at his hair again, "I don't understand."

"Calm down, Gaara-kun," I said gently, reaching up to pull his hands away again, "There's nothing you shouldn't understand. I'm a shinobi. I will fight and die for my Kazekage if I have to. All shinobi would. It's our duty."

"But why does it have to be _you_?"

"Why me? Why not me?" I asked, "I'm not anyone important. Besides, if I die to protect you, not _only_ as the Kazekage but also as my _friend_ then I will die content. I have my own goals and dreams but lately they don't seem nearly as important as they used to."

_"I don't understand why he's so upset." _I frowned as he finally dropped his arms.

Gaara didn't say anything to that and I feared that maybe I really _had_ made him angry with me. I was only saying the truth, something that shouldn't have surprised him at all. Shinobi died everyday. It was the one absolute truth for us all. Regardless if it was for their Kage, their village or their loved ones, shinobi died to protect something.

"I will protect you with my life." I said quietly.

Gaara turned his eyes towards mine and I felt entranced by their beauty. I took a few cautious steps forward, stopping directly in front of him. He stared down at me and I gave him a small smile.

"I'm going to do something stupid, so just stand there and accept it." I said, reaching my arms out and wrapping them around his waist.

Gaara remained stotic and I breathed in deeply, inhaling his scent as I rested my head on his chest. We stood like that for what felt like forever and when I stepped away, my cheeks were dark. I glanced up at him shyly, happy that at least he hadn't shoved me away. His eyes were wide with shock and I could have sworn his cheeks were the lightest pink.

"I'll say that was a successful hug," I joked lightly, "Though next time, you should hug back. I'll feel even more stupid if you don't. I mean... If you let me hug you... I kind of didn't give you a choice just now..."

"I... I don't understand." Gaara murmured, eyelids dropping low.

"What?" I asked in surprise, "You-You don't know what a hug is? Umm, well, when peo-"

"Not that, Noriko-chan," Gaara murmured again, "I don't understand why you would die for someone like _me_. I'm a mon-"

"You _aren't_ a monster, Gaara!" I said heatedly, "You're an important person to me! I won't let _anything_ happen to my important people!"

"Important... Person...?"

"Hai," I nodded, "You're important to me. We _are_ friends."

"Uzumaki, Naruto..." Gaara said quietly to himself.

"Huh? What about him?" I asked confused.

"Uzumaki, Naruto told me something similar..." Gaara trailed off, a distant look in his eyes.

"Then he's a smart person." I smiled, trying to erase the depressing mood.

"Hai..."

"So you're okay now, Gaara-kun?" I asked lightly.

"I'm fine." He replied.

"Good, good," I smiled, "I was worried I had made you angry."

"I'm not angry with you, Noriko-chan."

I smiled at him brightly but it was interrupted by an impromptu yawn. I chuckled in embarrassment, rubbing the back of my neck.

"I should probably get to sleep, Gaara-kun. Not all of us can go without it," I laughed, "But you should also try to get some rest. Relax some."

"I don't want you to die for me." Gaara murmured quietly, catching me off guard.

"Errr..."

"Promise me," Gaara said with sudden vigor, "Promise me, if I die, you won't use your Kekkei Genkai."

"It's not up to me," I argued, "Orders are orders."

"Then as the Kazekage, I forbid it." Gaara said, lips twitching upwards.

_"The bastard! That was a smart-ass move! Is he trying to toy with me? Gaara doesn't know how to do that!"_

"If you're dead, you won't be able to stop me." I huffed.

"Then... I will have to make sure I don't die."

"Good for you." I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

_"Way to kill a mood."_

"Arigato, Noriko-chan." Gaara said.

"Fo- Never mind, you're welcome. Now go to your room, I want to sleep." I mumbled.

"Goodnight, Noriko-chan." Gaara said when he reached my door.

"Yeah, goodnight, Gaara-kun."

When he closed the door I shut off the lights and climbed into bed, curling my legs to my chest. I stared out the window for a while, watching the shadows shimmer slightly under the pale moons light. I don't know when I fell asleep but my dreams vividly displayed Gaara.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Well this is going to be awkward."_

"Ano... Gaara-kun... I think we're going to be stuck here... Until the storm calms at least..." I mumbled as I looked out the window of his office.

Sand whipped up in mini tornado's and harsh wind carried them through the streets. I frowned when a particularly rough wind knocked over a small market stand, sending it crashing to the ground before some of the wood was carried away.

_"It's going to last a while..." _

I turned back towards Gaara, to see if he was paying attention but he wasn't. Instead he was reading over an important looking scroll, pausing every few minutes to write something down. I frowned again, shuffling to my couch and plopped down, making myself comfortable. If the storm was going to last a while and Gaara was going to keep himself busy then it was the least I could do for myself.

I tossed and turned for a minute, trying to relax and maybe get some sleep but it was impossible. Impossible for two reasons. The first reason was due to the howling wind outside and the second was due to the silent man inside. I sighed, throwing my head over the arm of the couch closest to Gaara and watched him upside down.

My eyes roamed over him shamelessly, tracing the line of his shoulders under his Kazekage uniform. Images of his naked chest popped into my head and I blushed, thankful for my ANBU mask. Specific images from the bathhouse incident, of the moisture rolling down his neck and collecting on his collarbone. I licked my lips without realizing.

'CHAA! GO JUMP HIM ALREADY! MAKE US BOTH HAPPY!' Inner me shouted, throwing a fist upwards.

_"Shut up, baka."_ I grumbled.

It had been three weeks since Gaara and I had talked in my room. Three awkward weeks. I was sure the awkwardness was only on my part though. Gaara treated me exactly the same as before, maybe" smiling" slightly more than usual but it could have also been wishful thinking on my part. The reason for my wishful thinking, the reason for my awkwardness? That was simple. It was because three weeks ago, after a rather_ long_ conversation with myself, I came to the conclusion that I was, not only _lusting_ after the Kazekage but that I also _liked _him.

'And I'm sure he likes you too! Now go get him!' Inner me cheered, pointing towards Gaara, 'He called your body interesting! Let's let him explore!'

_"SHUT UP BAKA." _I seethed, pulling myself up.

I removed my mask, rubbing a hand over my face to calm myself.

"I'm going to make some tea," I said quietly, "I'll bring you some."

"Arigato, Noriko-chan." Gaara murmured, sending a shiver up my spine.

_"I wonder if he even knows what his voice can do to people."_ I sighed as I left his office.

I decided that I was in no rush to head back anytime soon and set a casual pace. It would give me time to clear my head. The kitchen was downstairs and I vaguely wondered if anyone else was in the building as I entered.

"Probably not. I'm sure they left when their day ended," I mumbled, grabbing a kettle off the shelf, "Gaara's just a workaholic."

I filled it with water, shaking my head as it reminded me of the bathhouse again.

"Get a grip, Noriko!" I hissed at myself, placing the kettle on the stove, "You're acting childish!"

'It's only natural. Gaara's attractive, it can't be helped.'

"I don't need commentary from _you_." I grumbled, crossing my arms as I waited for the water to boil.

'I'm just you. If you keep thinking of me as separate then you're going to go insane.'

"AGH! SHUT UP!" I shouted, gripping the sides of my head.

The kettle began to whistle and I was thankful that it had interrupted me. I turned the stove off, dropping the tea leaves inside to sit. I searched for a tray, placing the pot, two cups and sugar for myself on it when I found one. I balanced it carefully on one hand as I made my way back to the office. Gaara looked up from his work and I gave him a smile, lifting the tray a bit higher.

"Strong, just like you like it." I said, placing the tray on his desk.

I poured both of us a cup, adding sugar to mine and shuffled back towards my couch. I watched intently as Gaara took a sip, giving me quiet 'arigato', placed the cup back down and went back to work. I sighed, shifting slightly and began to drink my own. It wasn't how _I _liked it, I preferred mine on the weaker side but as long as Gaara enjoyed it then I didn't mind.

_"I never thought I would be the kind of person to change what_ I_ wanted just because I liked someone..."_

'Gaara isn't just _anyone_.'

_"No, he's not."_ I mused quietly, taking another sip.

I looked back at Gaara, frowning when I noticed the heavy look in his eyes.

_"I do not sleep." _

"Gaara-kun, you look tired, you should lie down." I said quietly, shifting my eyes out the window.

"I can't sleep, Noriko-chan." Gaara said without looking up from his work.

"I... I know, Gaara-kun... But you should rest... Here, I'll move, you take the couch and I'll keep watch... Just rest for a while, please?" I asked, lifting myself up.

"Why?" Gaara asked, looking up.

"Because... You _look_ tired. I'm sure that you_ are_. You don't have to sleep, just rest... If not for me, then for yourself?" I tried again, walking up to his desk and placing my cup down.

"I can't," Gaara said, "It's not safe."

"Not safe? What? Not safe to even rest?" I frowned.

"Hai. You're correct, Noriko-chan, I am tired but if I rest now I could fall asleep. I... Shukaku could take over and I could hurt or even kill people." Gaara said calmly.

"No-ones here Gaara-kun, everyone went home and the storm outside is too harsh. I doubt even Shukaku would be stupid enough to try and leave," I nodded, "And if you do fall asleep, I would just have to wake you up before he takes over right? I think I can do that."

"You don't understand, Noriko-chan." Gaara murmured.

"Then explain it to me!" I demanded, "I'm not incompetent! I know us training together proved that I might be but I'm not! I reached ANBU fair and square! So why don't you trust me?"

"I do trust you, Nori-"

"Then what is it!" I growled angrily.

"I do not trust myself, Noriko-chan." Gaara murmured.

"Huh?"

"I do not trust myself not to harm you, Noriko-chan," Gaara said quietly, "You told me that I am an important person to you, hai?"

I blushed, giving him a small nod.

"You are also an important person to me, Noriko-chan. I do not want to harm you," Gaara said, standing and walking towards me, "I have wanted to create bonds with the people of my village. A bond where I can share my sadness, my suffering... And my joy. You have given me that, Noriko-chan... I have always been feared, looked upon as a weapon to this village but you..."

Gaara shook his head slowly, gazing at me with deep eyes, "Noriko-chan... You have given me what I have longed for... You have given me that bond and I want to protect you, as my important person."

"G-Gaara..." I whispered, reaching forward.

I stopped before my hands could touch him, dropping them back to my sides. I bit my lip, the tears that had began gathering in the corner of my eyes spilled over. I reached up quickly to wipe them away. Gaara gave a small frown, reaching forward to stop me.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Noriko-chan." Gaara murmured, eyes following the tears.

"I-I'm not upset, these tears aren't because I'm sad."

Gaara gave me a questioning look as he released my wrist and I wiped them away quickly. I turned my gaze to the floor to collect my thoughts.

"They're be-because I'm happy, some people cry when they're happy..." I said softly, heart pounding in my ears.

"Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked.

I lifted my eyes to his face, blushing at how close he was.

"H-Hai?"

"I would... Like to try hugging you, Noriko-chan." He husked.

"O-Okay..."

I reached forward slowly, wrapping my arms around his waist for the second time. He stiffened slightly as I pressed my ear to his chest, inhaling his scent. Before long he began to relax. Gently he raised his arms, wrapping them around my waist as well. His head came down, cheek resting against the back of my neck. I could hear his heart pounding strongly in his chest. I gave a content sigh, allowing myself to close my eyes.

"Arigato, Noriko-chan," Gaara murmured quietly, "Arigato for being my friend."

_"Friend..."_

He removed his arms just as gently and my heart a constricted painfully. I stopped myself from pulling him into another hug, instead nodding as he walked back around his desk. I didn't move, I couldn't if had wanted to, as he sat down. He gave me a full smile, causing my breath to hitch. I memorized the action, the soft curl of his lips.

"You should rest, Noriko-chan. I'll wake you when the storm calms." Gaara said, pulling a file towards himself.

I still couldn't bring myself to move. My knees felt weak, as if I had ran a great distance. Gaara looked up curiously, as if asking why I hadn't moved yet. I took in a deep breath, as much air as my lungs could hold and let it out slowly.

"G-Gaara-kun?" I asked, steeling myself.

"Hai, Noriko-chan?"

"I-I just wanted to say..." I paused.

_"I like you." _

"I..."

_"I like you."_

"A-Arigato as well, Gaara-kun, f-for being my friend..."

_"Coward."_

Gaara gave me another full smile and nodded his head. I waited for a second, hoping that I could gain the courage to say something more but the words refused to form on my lips. I gave a small smile in return, turning towards the couch. My footfalls seemed to echo in the quiet room. I laid down carefully, turning and buried my face into the back of the couch.

_"Pathetic," _I hissed at myself, _"Pathetic for not telling him. Pathetic for feeling this way. I'm pathetic."_

I tried to force myself to sleep but my mind refused. I concentrated hard on the sound of pounding wind against glass. It was both calming and infuriating. I wanted to curse the storm, curse it for trapping me here but at the same time I thanked it. I thanked it for giving me the chance to speak to Gaara, to hear him say those things to me. I couldn't quite understand why it bothered me so much, why the word 'friend' bothered me. A month ago I would have been ecstatic to hear that word. I would have probably snuggled myself into the couch happily but now the word almost hurt.

'It's because you like him.' Inner me said gently.

* * *

"Noriko-chan, wake up." Gaara said, leaning over me slightly.

"I'm awake." I mumbled, pushing myself to sit up.

"You weren't asleep?" Gaara asked, taking a step back as I stood.

"No. Couldn't sleep. Wind." I mumbled again.

"It's calmed now. We can head home. It only 3, you should be able to sleep for a few hours before we have to return." Gaara said helpfully.

_"I doubt it."_

"Yeah, you're probably right, Gaara-kun," I nodded, "Lead the way."

Gaara smiled again and I found myself wishing he wouldn't. It only made my heart beat faster. Beat painfully. The walk was uneventful but I enjoyed the cool breeze on my face. I clutched my ANBU mask a little tighter in my hand when we finally reached the house. Gaara opened the door silently, allowing me to enter first.

"Are you hungry, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked as we walked past the kitchen.

"No. I'm going to just head to bed, Gaara-kun," I said quietly, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Noriko-chan." Gaara murmured, walking into the kitchen.

I made my way up the stairs quietly, pausing at the window in the hall. The moon was only half full but I found myself yearning to see it. I placed my mask on the table nearby and opened it as quietly as I could. When I pulled myself outside, I shut the window behind me, climbing to the roof quickly. Though the moons light wasn't nearly as bright as it had been on the first night here with Gaara, it was still impressive. The clear skies of Suna always made for a beautiful sight.

I removed my cloak, folding it into a pillow before stretching out across the roof. The conversation with Gaara replayed in my mind on a loop.

"I should feel privileged," I whispered, "That he said I'm important to him."

The image of Gaara sitting on the roof passed behind my eyes. I could see the moons light illuminating his pale skin, making his red hair glow softly. The way it cast shadows on his cheeks, making his aqua eyes more pronounced. Even the darkness surrounding them seemed to glow under the light. It was an almost suffocating beauty.

I gave me the sudden urge to see the sun rise over the desert surrounding Suna. Without another thought I stood up, rushing across the rooftops to the eastern wall of the city. I forced myself to run as fast as I could, ignoring the pain in my side as my body was pushed to a limit I hadn't used in much too long. It had only taken me a few minutes to reach the bottom of the large wall and I scaled it quickly. I pulled myself up, taking in the calmness of the air. It made me smile slightly as I walked to the outer edge. I sat down, allowing the toes of my sandals to touch the edge as I pulled my knees to my chest.

The sand below me twirled over the dunes in a gently breeze and I smiled again. I had seen the forests and swamps of other lands before but to me, nothing compared to the desert of Suna. I loved the heat of the day and the coolness of the night. It was as if the land was in the perfect balance of Yin and Yang. It made me think of Gaara again.

"We're like Yin and Yang," I said softly, "We could balance each other."

_"He's the perfect calm, while I'm hotheaded. His eyes are a cool aqua, mine a warm gold. His skin is the purest pale, mine is a boring tan. His hair is the deepest red and mine is the absence of color,"_ I listed to myself, _"He's the Kazekage and I'm nobody."_

"All the more reason I'm a fool for liking him," I mumbled, dropping my chin to my knees, "He could have anyone he wants."

It wasn't much longer before the sun began to rise. The combination of gold, red, blue and purple left me breathless.

"I should have done this sooner." I laughed quietly.

* * *

"NORIKO! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

I jolted upwards, letting out a small squeak of surprise. I blinked into the bright light, squinting slightly at the figure above me.

"Kankuro?" I mumbled.

"Who else you baka?" He hissed, "What the fuck were you doing up here?"

"Huh?"

Kankuro sighed, rubbing his face in annoyance.

"Get up baka." Kankuro demanded.

I got up slowly, wincing at the stiffness in my joints.

"Well?" Kankuro demanded again.

"Umm, I came to watch the sunrise. I guess I fell asleep." I laughed sheepishly.

"This isn't funny Noriko! Half of Suna's shinobi have been out searching for you!"

"Half of Suna? Don't exaggerate baka."

"I'm not!" Kankuro said heatedly, "You've been missing for hours! Gaara sent out three _full_ squads to look for you! We thought you had been kidnapped!"

"Three squads? That's _hardly_ half of Suna's shinobi." I joked, only to receive a sharp slap to the back of the head.

"Hey! That hurt, baka!" I shouted, rubbing the abused spot.

"Good! Maybe it will knock some sense into you!" Kankuro snapped back.

"I didn't mean to worry anyone," I pouted childishly, still rubbing my head, "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to watch the sunrise."

"You didn't worry just anyone Noriko! You worried _Gaara_! He's been demanding reports from the squads left and right! He's about to send a group out of Suna to look for you! You're lucky I found you!" He said, turning around, "Now come on! We need to hurry back before he does!"

"Gaara's that worried?" I asked in surprise.

"Why wouldn't he be?" He grumbled as I began following him, "You up and disappeared! You should have told him you were coming here! And why were you masking your chakra!"

"Force of habit? And are you sure you're not over stating things? You sound pretty mad." I frowned.

"I _am_ mad! I was worried too! And the whole time you were just sleeping!"

"Really?" Now I was really surprised.

"Yes, Noriko! Kami, you're such a baka!"

"I didn't think it was a big deal..." I said guiltily, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, yeah. Tell that to _Gaara_. He's the one having the heart attack." He sighed as we rushed across the rooftops.

I stayed quiet as I followed him. We reached the Kazekage office in what I was sure was a record time. Kankuro didn't even give me a chance to catch my breath as he stalked inside, taking the stairs two at a time. I was surprised for a third time when I noticed many shinobi coming and going from the direction of Gaara's office. When we entered the first door Kankuro barked at the people to move, opening the door to Gaara's office without knocking.

Baki and another Jounin I didn't know stood in front of Gaara's desk, blocking him from sight.

"I want you to take the 4th squad out immediately," Gaara's deep voice rumbled, "Do a perimeter check of the outer wall and if there is still no trace of her, head out quickly."

"No need Gaara," Kankuro spoke up, causing all eyes to turn towards us, "I found her."

"Found her?" Gaara asked, standing up to peer around the two in front of him.

Gaara's eyes caught mine and I flushed in embarrassment. His shoulders seemed to relax immediately and guilt twisted in my gut again. Gaara turned back towards Baki and the other quickly.

"You can leave now, inform the other squads that the search is over." He said with a nod.

"Hai, Gaara-sama." They bowed, turning and walking out the door.

It closed with a soft 'click' and I bowed my head in shame.

"Ahh, s-sorry, Gaara-kun." I said quietly.

"Where were you?" He asked, slowly sitting back down.

"Uhh..." I gave Kankuro a pleading look.

"She was asleep, on the eastern wall," Kankuro sighed, shaking his head at me, "Said she went to see the sunrise or something."

"Why didn't you tell me, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked, slight edge to his voice.

I didn't say anything.

"I'll leave you two alone." Kankuro grunted, shutting the door as he went.

"Noriko-chan?" Gaara questioned again, standing to walk around his desk.

"I... I didn't think it would worry you..." I mumbled lamely, "I'm sorry. I just-I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me, Noriko-chan?" Gaara repeated, stopping in front of me.

"I wanted to be alone," I whispered, "I needed to think and I thought the sunrise would help."

"... Did it help?" Gaara asked quietly.

"Kind of..." I said, shifting on my feet.

"What were you thinking about, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked softly.

_"You, me, everything. How much of a fool I am for liking you."_

"You don't have to answer, Noriko-chan." Gaara murmured, taking my pause as hesitance.

"It-It's not that I _don't_ want to tell you, Gaara-kun. I just, I _can't_. Not yet, I'm not ready yet." I said.

"When you're ready then, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked, lips curling into a smile.

"Hai, Gaara-kun," I nodded, "When I'm ready."

Gaara's hands reached out, pulling me to his chest. I stumbled forward, not expecting the action and my fingers gripped the front of his Kage robes tightly to steady myself. My chin rested on his shoulder as his warm breath brushed over my ear. I shivered slightly, fingers clenching tighter.

"I'm... I'm happy," Gaara murmured lowly, "That you are safe, Noriko-chan."

"I didn't mean to worry you, Gaara-kun." I whispered, scared to break the quiet atmosphere.

"I would have worried either way, Noriko-chan."


	8. Chapter 8

_"The darkness is back." I whispered, voice falling flat in the emptiness._

_I took slow, cautious steps, wrapping my arms around myself. For some reason the void didn't feel as threatening as it first had. I welcomed it. It felt as if it was trying to comfort me, to surround and protect me. My bare feet made no sound as I continued my walk. Something in my gut told me to stop and I listened. I turned my head towards the left, then the right noting only darkness._

_"I'm dreaming." I reminded myself._

_I went to take another step but something stopped me. I frowned, turning my head to glance over my shoulder. To my surprise a small child stood there, clutching at my shorts. She was illuminated in an almost blinding white light and I struggled to make out her face. Her tiny fist trembled against my leg and as I turned around to face her, she released her grasp._

_"What are you doing here?" I asked gently, still keeping my arms around myself._

_She didn't respond, casting her gaze towards the ground. She raised a small, shaking hand in the air and I hesitantly reached out one of my own. Her fingers laced with mine perfectly and I felt a warm pulse run through me. Her trembling stopped but she still didn't look up. Instead she began to pull me along through the dark. I frowned again when I noticed a door, visible due to her light. With her free hand she gripped the handle, twisting it and shoved the door open._

_The light that spilled from the room blinded me and I was only vaguely aware that the door had shut behind us. I blinked, trying to force my eyes to adjust. When it failed, I finally noticed that the new "room" was the same as the last. Instead of darkness all around me, it was white light._

_"You shouldn't go into the darkness." The small girl whispered._

_"Why not?" I asked, turning my gaze on her._

_"There are monsters in the dark." She whispered again, squeezing my hand tighter._

_"I didn't see any monsters." I said softly._

_"They were there. I could see them."_

_"Really?" I frowned._

_"They were going to take you away."_

_"Take me away?"_

_"That's why... That's why I had to save you!" She shouted, voice trembling._

_I didn't say anything as she began to sob. There wasn't much I could say. In the back of my mind I knew that this was only a dream but it felt real. Her sad cries sounded scarily familiar and her trembling hand in mine didn't feel like a dream. She released my hand turning to wrap her arms around my thighs in a tight hug._

_"Shh, it's okay. Don't cry." I soothed, running my fingers through her pale hair._

_"I was scared," She cried, "That they would take you from me!"_

_"I'm fine." I murmured gently._

_I didn't know how much time passed as I comforted her but slowly her sobs died away in to tiny hiccups. I continued my petting. Not only to appease her but myself as well._

_"You're okay now, right?"_

_She nodded, sniffing against my shorts. I gently placed my hands on her shoulders, pulling her back to give her a smile. She smiled back warmly, eyes closed. I wiped away the dried tears on her cheeks with the back of my hand. She blushed, letting out a cute laugh, lips pulling back to show her teeth. She slowly opened her eyes, causing my breath to hitch. Her smile didn't waver as she reached up, lacing our fingers once again._

_"Y-You're..." I stammered in surprise._

_"Mhmm." She hummed, smiling brighter._

* * *

"Time to wake up, Noriko!" Kankuro shouted, banging a fist on my door.

I grumbled quietly to myself, tossing my blanket to the side and shuffled over to my dresser. I opened the top draw, grabbing underclothes then the second, grabbing my ANBU outfit. I fought down another yawn, folding the clothes into the crook of my arm. Kankuro continued to bang loudly on my door and I huffed in annoyance.

"I'm awake!" I snapped, opening the door.

"Good, now hurry up, Gaara can't be late because of you!" Kankuro grinned.

"Shower first." I mumbled, shoving him out of the way.

"Yeah, yeah. Just hurry."

I nodded, heading towards the bathroom. I opened the door, fighting another yawn and shuffled in, placing my clothes on the sink counter. I gave myself a once over in the mirror, noticing I looked particularly tired today.

"Oh well." I shrugged, removing my sleep clothes.

I turned the showers water to hot, placing my fingers under the stream until I decided it was good enough. My body began to relax instantly as the pounding water worked out my kinks. I grabbed my body wash, squirting some on to my hands before lathering it over me thoroughly. I allowed my fingers to gently kneed the tension in my shoulders, smiling when I finally worked out the last.

"That's not hurrying, baka!" Kankuro shouted suddenly.

My left eye twitched, fingers curling into fists by my sides.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to murder you bastard!" I shouted back, reaching for my shampoo.

"Empty threats." Kankuro taunted and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

_"Enough is enough. I liked him better when he ignored my existence for the most part."_

I ignored the the rest of his taunts and jeers, quickly washing my hair and hoping out of the shower. I left the water running, drying myself and pulling my clothes on in record time.

"Co~me on bakayar-"

I slammed the door open, grabbing him by the front of his uniform. I brought his face close to mine, giving him a wicked sneer. He gulped, trying to struggle his way out of my grip.

"You were saying something about empty threats?" I growled, fingers holding him tighter.

"It was a joke Noriko! A _joke_! You can't kill me! I'm Gaara's brother!" Kankuro squeaked.

"I'm sure Gaara wouldn't mind." I said, grinning wider.

"Temari then! Temari would care!" Kankuro reasoned, looking for said sibling.

"I'll make it painless." I continued, smirking internally.

_"Maybe I do like this Kankuro better. He's a lot more fun to mess with."_

"We're friends right!" Kankuro exclaimed, "You would miss me! Who else is fun around here?"

"Gaara's pretty fun to be around," I mused thoughtfully, "But I guess you're right. If you weren't here then I wouldn't have anyone to mess with."

Kankuro gave a sigh of relief as I let him go, taking a few steps back. I crossed my arms, giving him a half-smirk. He pouted back childishly, crossing his arms as well.

"Just hurry up." He said, turning and walking away.

I laughed, shaking my head and went back into the bathroom. I shut off the now cold water, brushed my teeth and grabbed my dirty clothes. I dropped them off in my room before hurrying down the stairs. I peaked my head into the kitchen, grinning when I saw Kankuro and Gaara.

"She's crazy Gaara. Really," Kankuro pouted, stuffing his mouth with food, "I don't know what you see in her."

_"What he see's in me? That sounds like Kankuro's implying..."_

"She's my friend, Kankuro," Gaara replied quietly, "She's a very interesting person."

_"Right, friends. Silly me. Don't get ahead of yourself Noriko."_

"Still, she's crazy."

"Whose crazy?" I asked, stepping into the room

Kankuro gulped, turning to look at me.

"Well?" I asked lightly, grabbing some breakfast off the counter.

"N-No one!" Kankuro said, turning to give his brother a pleading look, "R-Right Gaara?"

I could see the amusement in Gaara's eyes and the slight twitching of his lips as he fought a smile. I sat down on Gaara's left, like I usually did, giving a fake confused look. Gaara's eyes flickered to mine and I gave a small wink, letting him know I had already heard.

"Are you sure...?" I asked, turning back to Kankuro, "Because I was sure I hear-"

"Matsuri!" Kankuro shouted, "We were talking about Matsuri! Ehehe, she's been acting a little, ahhh, well you know how she is!"

"Matsuri?" I mumbled, taking a bit of toast.

"Hai! Poor girl. She's crazy as can be," Gaara sent him an unamused look, so Kankuro continued, "W-Well about Gaara, I mean!"

Gaara's brows knit in confusion and he inclined his head slightly.

_"Dear Kami, Gaara didn't _know_? How could he not!"_

"Ahh, that's what you were talking about." I laughed, deciding to switch teams.

_"I'll be nice to Kankuro just this once. Besides I really want to know if Gaara hadn't noticed..."_

"Yeah! Exactly! She's always so... Well Matsuri." Kankuro finished lamely.

"I know what you mean. She's always "Ohh, Gaara-sama is so perfect and handsome!" and "Ohh, Gaara-sama~! Take me pleas~e!". It get's pretty annoying, pretty quick." I said, trying to copy her voice perfectly.

"That was pretty good!" Kankuro laughed, obviously happy that I no longer seemed upset with him.

"What are you talking about Kankuro? Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked finally.

I turned, giving him an exaggerated, surprised expression that Kankuro mirrored. I caught his eye and he winked, enjoy the new situation I was sure. It wasn't everyday two people could team up to embarrass Gaara, if we _could_ embarrass him.

"You mean to tell me, you don't _know_?" I whispered in mock horror.

"Gaara, how could you _not_ know!" Kankuro asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

_"Which it is."_

"I don't understand." Gaara murmured, frown forming on his lips.

"He really didn't know, Kankuro!" I exclaimed, turning to look at him.

"I can't believe it!" Kankuro said, turning to look at me as well.

"Maybe we should tell him?" I mused, tapping a finger to my chin.

"It's only fair." Kankuro agreed.

We both turned back to the confused Kazekage, giving him identical, wide grins. Gaara raised an invisible brow as he folded his arms across his chest. Apparently he wasn't nearly as amused by this as we were.

"Well, Gaara, since you didn't know, Noriko and I will tell you." Kankuro started.

"That Matsuri is "in love" with you!" I finished, quoting in the air.

"In love... With me...?" The look on his face was priceless.

I couldn't hold my laughter in a second longer and as soon as I began, Kankuro joined in. I clutched my side tightly, other hand trying to stifle my laugh. Kankuro didn't offer the same kindness. He threw his head back, laughing so harshly that tears began to gather in his eyes. I wheezed, dropping my head to the table but continued laughing through the pain. When we finally calmed some, Kankuro and I were both panting, wincing whenever a laugh broke through.

"Ouch!" I grumbled, keeping my hand firmly pressed to my side, "I-Ahah- Didn't think laughing could hurt so-Ahaha- Much!"

"Me either." Kankuro groaned.

"I didn't think someone... Loving me... Would be funny..." Gaara trailed off, sounding slightly annoyed.

I laughed again, shaking my head.

"It's not _that_ Gaara-kun," I said, still trying to gain control of myself, "It was the look on your face."

"You looked like you'd seen a ghost!" Kankuro chimed in.

Gaara's look of annoyance only grew and I figured maybe it was time to stop our teasing.

"We were only teasing you, Gaara-kun," I said, raising my hands in surrender, "Matsuri doesn't _really_ love you... Well, at least, _I_ don't think so... She has more of an obsession, I would say..."

"Yeah, don't worry Gaara!" Kankuro chuckled, "I doubt anyone loves you like _that_."

My eyes widened considerably and my mouth hung open. Kankuro went back to his food, completely oblivious to how _cruel_ that sounded.

_"I-I can't believe Kankuro really just said!"_

Gaara stiffened, eyes wide like my own. I opened my mouth to say something but Gaara stood slowly before stalking his way from the room. I stood up as well, knocking my chair over in the process.

"I can't believe you said that!" I hissed, giving Kankuro a glare.

"What?" He asked stupidly.

I flinched when I heard the front door open and close quickly.

"Baka!" I hissed again, hurrying to follow Gaara.

I pulled my ANBU mask over my face and slipped on one shoe as I opened the door. I began following quickly, hopping on one foot as I slipped on my other sandal. When they were both on I darted after Gaara quickly, searching for his chakra. I spotted him a few blocks ahead and I quickly appeared in front of him, crouched with one fist to the ground and my head bowed.

"I'm sorry, Gaara-sama," I said, bowing my head lower, "For both Kankuro's behavior and my own."

"Follow me." Gaara said quietly, ignoring my apology completely.

I waited for him to pass me before I stood, turning to follow him. The walk was silent and it only caused the knot in my stomach to grow tighter. I noticed that the way we were walking wasn't heading towards the Kazekage building and I frowned, jogging to his side.

"Gaara-sama. It isn't safe to walk around without a proper escort." I said but again he ignored me.

When we finally reached our destination I was surprised.

"Why are we at your bathhouse, Gaara-sama?" I asked, following in after him.

"It's the only private place I have." Gaara murmured.

He led me through a few different hallways before opening a sliding door. My mouth dropped open at the beautiful cacti garden before me. I quickly removed my mask to get a better look. All different types took up the small space and I took a few steps forward, smiling as some sprouted flowers.

"Do you remember, asking me if I had a hobby, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked me quietly.

I turned giving him a confused look, "Hai."

"I cultivated these myself." Gaara said, staring at me.

"Really?" I asked, turning back to the garden, "When? I've never seen you do this and I'm always with you..."

"When you're asleep, Noriko-chan."

"You've been sneaking out!" I shouted, turning back towards him, "You baka! Someone could have attacked you!"

"No one has attacked me, Noriko-chan." Gaara stated calmly.

"That's not the point!" I growled, eye twitching, "You're lucky no one attacked you! I can't believe you would put yourself in harms way! Why would you do something like that? You should have brought me here with you!"

"I wanted to be alone," Gaara quoted my softly, "I come here to think."

"Why did you bring me here then?" I asked, "You aren't thinking about what Kankuro said are you?"

"Do you think what he said was true, Noriko-chan?" Gaara murmured.

I shook my head in negative quickly, "I told you before, Kankuro is a baka. I don't think he has a filter. Spouts out whatever pops into his head first."

"Do you think someone could love me, Noriko-chan?" Gaara husked, causing me to blush.

"H-Hai," I mumbled, "But don't change the subject! I still can't believe you've been sneaking off!"

"I wasn't sneaking, Noriko-chan."

"You still could have at least told me," I grumbled, blushing again, "I could have taken a bath or something, if you wanted to be alone. At least then I would have been close by."

"You didn't tell me when you left, Noriko-chan." Gaara reminded me.

"That was different!" I snapped, "I wasn't thinking! But it's different for you! You're the Kazekage! You can't run off without telling someone!"

"You did not notice, Noriko-chan. Is that why you're upset?" Gaara asked.

"No! You could have been hurt! How do you think that would make me feel?" I asked back.

"I don't know, Noriko-chan."

"Awful!" I ground out, "I would feel awful! And horrible! And... And worthless!"

"Why, Noriko-chan? It wouldn't be your fault."

"Because I like you!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air.

Silence. I stood frozen, not moving a centimeter, hands still thrown ridiculously in the air. My lips still parted in a small 'o', eyes wide in disbelief. So many things ran through my head that it left my mind whirling. Gaara's eyes mirrored mine but his lips held a firm line. My brain finally starting working again, telling me to drop my arms and close my mouth. I complied, dropping my gaze from Gaara's. I yanked the hem of my ANBU vest down. Despite the uniforms long sleeves and pants I felt completely exposed.

_"Tell Gaara as friends, right now!"_ My brain demanded.

I opened my mouth, looking up at him again.

"I-I meant as-"

My entire body went rigged as Gaara pressed his slightly dry lips to mine. My eyes refused to close as he pressed more firmly. I didn't react, more like I _couldn't_react, as his hands drifted to my shoulders. He slowly pushed himself away, eyes opening half-mast. He searched my face, eyes looking for something. I didn't know what. He released my shoulders, turning away from me.

"Forgive me, Noriko-chan," Gaara murmured, "I didn't mean to upset you."

_"Huh?"_

I reached a hand up to touch my cheeks, fingers brushing tears.

_"Why am I crying?"_

'Because you're scared.'

_"Scared?"_

'Scared of what this could mean.'

I quickly wiped away the tears, pulling my ANBU mask back over my face. I tried to think of something to say but nothing seemed right. Gaara continued to stare at the garden as I argued with myself.

'Tell him how you feel.'

_"What if he rejects me, what if he's only doing that because he thinks it's what _I _want!"_

'Isn't it what you want?'

_"Yes! But not if he doesn't mean it! I don't want him to _pity_ me!"_

'And what if this is also what _he_ wants?'

_"How could it be? He's Gaara! He's the Kazekage! He's somebody and I'm... I'm just..."_

'Nobody?'

"I'm sorry, Noriko-chan," Gaara said softly, eyes still away from mine, "I thought it's what you wanted."

_"I knew it was pity."_

"I..." I steeled myself for the biggest lie I had ever told, "No... It's not..."

"Then please forgive me, Noriko-chan." Gaara said again.

"Nothing to forgive, Gaara-sama." I said, giving him a bow.

He turned to look at me and I frowned at the look in his eyes.

_"Why is he sad? I should be the sad one!"_

"We should get going, Gaara-sama," I continued, "Before the other ANBU are sent to collect you and I get scolded again."

"Hai." Gaara murmured.


	9. Chapter 9

"Gaara-sama is sending me on a mission?" I frowned, turning to face Baki, "Why?"

"Gaara-sama said that it can only be completed by you." Baki grunted.

"But why? I have my duty to keep him safe." I said, still not understanding.

"He has a replacement ANBU already," Baki mumbled, crossing his arms, "He asked me to give you the scroll. He said to read over it before meeting your team at the south entrance."

"I'm leaving now?" I asked, accepting the scroll.

"I guess." Baki shrugged.

_"He's sending me away."_ My heart clenched at the notion.

I opened the scroll quickly, reading through it. I paused half way through, turning to look up at Baki.

"This says I'm patrolling the Wind Countries borders. That's going to take months. How am I the only one who can complete this mission? I thought this was a job for Jounin." I grumbled in annoyance.

"Keep reading Noriko." Baki grunted again.

I frowned, looking down to finish the scroll. By the time I finished reading my entire body was shaking. The hand holding the scroll loosened it's grip and it clattered to the floor. Baki sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder. I flinched under his touch, turning to look up at him with wide eyes.

"H-How does he know?" I whispered.

"I don't know Noriko. But you know why he chose you for this. It's going to be a long mission, seven or eight months at most. I expect you'll complete it without hesitation. The bored patrol is just a cover up, mostly. You'll be acting as squad leader but your title will be that of a Jounin. The two others are also part of ANBU and will also be using the title." Baki said, tone calming and even.

"Understood," I said quietly, giving Baki a small bow, "I will accept the mission."

"I don't think you decline if your life depended on it, Noriko," Baki said, giving me a small smirk, "It looks like all of your training will finally pay off."

"Hai." I nodded.

As I turned to leave Baki stopped me with the hand that was still on my shoulder. I gave him a questioning look at his stern gaze.

"I just wanted to remind you that you may not like the answers you get Noriko." Baki said, giving my should a squeeze before dropping his hand.

"I'm prepared for this." I assured him.

"I hope so." Baki said quietly.

"I am." I said again, this time more firmly.

He nodded and I turned away from him, heading towards the door. When I reached it I paused, fingers tightening on the handle.

"Can you do something for me Baki?" I asked, keeping my back to him.

"What is it?"

"Can you... Can you tell Gaara-sama, no, Gaara-kun that I'll be back... And that I expect to return to my position as soon as I do."

"I can do that." Baki said, slight smile to his tone.

"Arigato, Baki." I mumbled, opening the door.

"Noriko."

I glanced over my shoulder at the older man.

"Don't die." Baki said simply, causing me to smile.

"I won't."

* * *

"So you're our Taicho, huh? A little young." The man in my squad joked.

"Leave her alone Tamaki." The woman snapped, turning her brown eyes to mine.

"I'm Yumiryo. It's a pleasure to finally met you Noriko-san. I have heard nothing but good things, ya know." She smiled, giving me a bow.

"It's good to meet you as well, Yumiryo-san." I murmured, bowing back.

"This exchange is fun and all but we should get going. I'd like to complete this mission in as few months as possible," Tamaki yawned, "I don't get why they didn't just send Jounin to do this. One missing-nin can't really be that strong. He's not even from Suna."

"We'll complete this mission without complaint. The orders were from Gaara-sama himself." I said, shifting the weight of my pack.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Just don't get why he tacked on border duty as well." Tamaki mumbled.

"I'm sure Gaara-sama has his reasons," Yumiryo spoke up, "He's probably just trying to keep the defense of Suna strong. Why send out more people than needed, ya know?"

_"He wants me gone, that's why."_

"Whatever the reasons Tamaki is right, we should leave immediately." I said, motioning for them to follow me.

_"I know you can feel it. I'm coming for you and I _will_ get my answers."_

* * *

"Why did you let her go, Gaara? What if she's hurt! Or worse..." Kankuro demanded when his brother returned home for the evening.

"She's strong Kankuro. She won't die." Gaara murmured quietly.

"You don't know that!" Kankuro shouted angrily, "She's going against her _father_! Kami Gaara! What if she can't kill him! What if he messes with her head or something? Kami! I never thought _you_, of all people, would put her in danger!"

"You said it was her goal. I'm doing this for her." Gaara tried to explain.

"You aren't doing her any favors if she _dies_!" Kankuro spat, "What happened between you two to make you act like this? I thought you liked her."

"I do," Gaara said, turning his eyes away from his brothers glare, "Nothing happened between us. I'm just giving her the opportunity to complete her goal."

"Don't lie to me Gaara. You might be able to lie others but _I'm_ your brother. Family shouldn't lie to each other." Kankuro frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Nothing happened between Noriko-chan and I." Gaara repeated firmly.

Kankuro continued to frown at his brother, unamused with his lie. He knew Gaara was keeping something from him. He just _knew_ something had happened. He could see how Noriko and Gaara had been avoiding each other. She had even taken to calling him "Gaara-sama" for the past week. It made Kankuro uneasy and he didn't like it. When he had tried asking Noriko about it she had only smiled, telling him nothing was wrong as well.

"Fine, keep lying then," Kankuro sighed, running his fingers through his hair, "But you better pray to Kami she doesn't die Gaara. If she does you'll never be able to fix the problem you two have... And I also don't think I could forgive you. I like Noriko. She's a nice girl, she doesn't deserve to die just because you're fighting."

"She won't die." Gaara murmured, eyes not leaving the window.

"Like I said, you better pray she doesn't. It will haunt you for the rest of your life."

* * *

"So tell me about yourself, Taicho-chan." Tamaki smiled as he ran along side me.

"Stop flirting Tamaki. It's rude, ya know." Yumiryo spoke from my other side.

"I'm not flirting!" Tamaki yelled, "I'm just curious! This is the first time Taicho-chan has been on a mission with us! She's an ANBU too right? So we should get to know each other."

"My names Noriko. Stop calling me 'Taicho-chan', it's annoying." I grumbled.

"I'm just trying to be nice!" Tamaki defended and I shot him a glare.

"Alright, alright. Noriko-chan then."

"Drop the 'chan'." I snapped.

"But you're just so young and pretty!"

Tamaki barely had time to dodge Yumiryo's fist and I was a little surprised when he did.

"If Noriko-san said stop then stop, ya know!" Yumiryo shouted, fist still raised, "And that's no way to speak to your Taicho!"

"Always with the 'ya know, ya know' stuff Yumiryo. When are you going to stop?" Tamaki joked lightly.

"I can't help it, ya know!" She shouted back.

_"I'm surprised Yumiryo hasn't killed him yet." _I mused as I listened to them bicker.

"I think you're just _jealous_ Yumiryo!" Tamaki accused, sticking his tongue out.

"Jealous? I have nothing to be _jealous_ about, ya know!"

"I think you're jealous that Noriko-chan here is so adorable and young! Unlike _you_!"

Tamaki didn't even see my fist as it collided with the top of his head. He toppled to the sandy ground in an undignified heap as Yumiryo and I stopped in front of him.

"What was that for, Noriko-chan?" Tamaki pouted, rubbing the abused spot.

"Just shut up already!" I snapped, "It's too hot to be arguing and it's only pissing me off! And stop using 'chan'!"

"Sorry, Noriko-san," Yumiryo said, giving a slight bow, "He's just a jerk, ya know."

"No worries Yumiryo-san," I said, "Now let's hurry up. I would really like to find a cave to sleep in before it gets dark."

* * *

"I'm cold."

"I don't care. Go to sleep, we need to rest, ya know."

"But I' co~ld."

"I told you to bring an extra blanket, ya know."

"I have an idea! Noriko-chan, let's cuddle."

'TWACK.'

"Ouch! You didn't have to be so harsh!"

"If you don't shut up willingly, I'll shut you up by force."

"Our Taicho is so mean, Yumiryo! I thought young girls were nice!"

"You really need to shut up, ya know!"

* * *

"Can't even lay in bed, huh?"

Gaara turned his gaze from the moon to look at the person. Temari gave him a smirk, resting her hands on her hips.

"I normally sit up here." Gaara replied evenly, eyes drifting back to the moon.

"That's a lie. You've been laying in your bed almost every night. At least until Noriko falls asleep, then you hurry away to your little garden." Temari said smugly.

Gaara didn't confirm or deny her accusation and Temari sighed, taking a seat next to him.

"Kankuro is right Gaara. Something happened between you two and I, being the _wonderful_ sister that I am, won't leave until you tell me what happened," She said, "So it's easier on both of us if you speak up now."

Gaara didn't reply again and Temari knew he probably wouldn't. But she also knew she should at least try. Gaara had never acted this way about anyone, _ever_. She if she was true with herself, she figured that he never would but that Noriko had proved her wrong. She didn't know _how_ she had done it but she had. Noriko caused her brother, _Gaara_, to change. The girl couldn't take all the credit, most of that went to the Uzumaki brat but it was still odd to see Gaara so _emotional_.

_"If I can call it that."_ Temari mused to herself.

"I kissed her." Gaara whispered so quietly that Temari thought she heard wrong.

"C-Come again?" Temari asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

"I kissed her." Gaara repeated just as quietly as before.

"You... Kissed Noriko?"

"Hai."

"I... I really don't understand Gaara... You're going to have to explain this to me..." Temari said slowly, "Not what a kiss is but why, well just explain."

"She was... She started crying..." Gaara murmured and Temari could see how his shoulders tensed.

"Gaara... I-"

"I was stupid," Gaara cut in, "I shouldn't have done it. I just thought... I thought..."

"Gaara... Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault if she... It's not your fault Gaara." Temari said firmly.

"I made her cry Temari..." Gaara spoke softly, turning his eyes towards her, "I hurt her..."

Temari frowned at the lone tear that trailed down his cheek.

_"I need to say something."_

"I'm sure you didn't hurt her Gaara... Did you even tell her why you kissed her?" Temari asked gently.

He shook his head slowly.

"Then tell her when she comes back," Temari said, giving him a small smile, "I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding."

"What if... What if she doesn't come back... What if I made the wrong choice?"

"Don't listen to Kankuro, Gaara," Temari said firmly, "He was upset, he was saying things without thinking. She'll come back. She promised."

Gaara's brows knit together, "She promised?"

"Hai. She asked Baki to tell you but he asked me to do it. She said, "Tell Gaara-kun that I'll be back and that I expect to return to my position when I do" or something like that," Temari repeated, "So don't worry, she'll come back Gaara."

Gaara didn't say anything, instead turning to look back at the moon. Her smile grew into a grin when she noticed the twitch of her brothers lips. Temari sat with him for a while longer, sharing the moment with him until she grew tired. She got up and began walking away, giving Gaara one last glance.

_"She'll come back Gaara."_


	10. Chapter 10

This chapter contains Mature Content! Interesting, Gaara-centric Mature Content! The scene is dedicated to Miko Hayashi! Thank you for reviewing and reading my story lovely! And thank you to all of the others who read/review my story! It's very much appreciated! I hope you continue to enjoy!

* * *

_**Five Months** **Later**_

* * *

"Have you finished the report yet Tamaki?" I called down casually from my perch.

"Almost, Noriko-chan." Tamaki replied.

"When your done, send it off and get some sleep. I'll take first watch." I said, leaning back against the tree I was sitting in.

"You always take first watch and you hardly ever wake Yumiryo and I. Why don't I take first watch? You should get some rest." Tamaki said gently, blowing on the ink to dry it.

"I'm not tired." I mumbled.

"You have dark circles around your eyes that could rival Gaara-sama's." Tamaki shot back, rolling the scroll up.

"Don't exaggerate." I growled.

_"Don't say his name."_

"If you don't sleep, I'll report to Gaara-sama that you aren't fit to be on this mission anymore." Tamaki threatened, catching me by surprise.

I glared at the brunette but he held my gaze evenly. I finally sighed, jumping down from the tree and landed beside him. He gave me a goofy smile before summoning one of his falcons. He strapped the scroll to its leg, rubbing his fingers over it's head lovingly. I rolled my eyes at the scene as I unhooked my blanket from my pack. I curled up on the ground near Yumiryo, who was already asleep.

"Who's a lovely falcon?" Tamaki cooed and the bird clicked its beak, "That's right! You are! Now deliver the report to Kazekage-sama, please."

The falcon clicked its beak again and flew away, wings flapping heavily. Tamaki waved childishly after it and I snorted despite my anger towards him. Tamaki turned, giving me a wide grin. The flames from the camp fire flickered, giving his dark eyes a creepy look. I turned my back to him, drawing the blanket tighter around me. I heard him sigh as he stood up, back cracking as he stretched.

"I'm going to go scout the area. I'll be back soon. I'll wake you for next shift, so don't worry." He said as he casually walked away.

I gave him no response, instead closing my eyes, trying to keep the images of Gaara from coming to mind. Like every time I closed my eyes, it didn't work. I immediately thought of his flawless, pale skin and how I wished I could touch every inch of it. I thought of his deep red hair and how I wanted to tangle my fingers in it tightly. I could see his gorgeous eyes, captivating me with their gaze and lastly. Lastly, I could feel his dry lips against mine, twitching with hesitation and uncertainty. How I craved the feeling again, how I longed to push back against them with urgent need.

_"I wonder if he thinks of me."_

* * *

Gaara stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, feeling both frustrated and exhausted. It had been two weeks since Noriko's squad had sent a message and it caused him to feel anxious. He also hadn't failed to notice that none of the scrolls he had received thus far had been written by her. He didn't like to think that she was purposefully ignoring him but the idea still bothered him. He repeatedly reminded himself that as soon as he saw her, he would try to make her understand him. Though this all bothered him there was something else, something frustrating on an entirely different and awkwardly new level.

It was what she was _doing_ to him, without her even being present. How his body was reacting to every unbidden thought that crossed his mind. What he had seen at his private bath was at the forefront of those images. The delicate curves of her body through the heavy steam left him wanting to run his hands along them, to memorize them. He remembered that it was the first and last time he had seen her long, white hair down. It was beautiful, pure and Gaara knew it would be soft to the touch. He could see the laughter in her warm, golden eyes. That's where Gaara's mostly innocent musings stopped, which only increased his frustration to an almost painful level.

Gaara sat up, frowning at himself and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't like that his body was reacting on its own, he didn't like not being in control of himself. He glanced down, wincing slightly as he strained against his pants. He had asked Kankuro about his newest problem not too long back and the conversation had been awkward to say the least. Kankuro spluttered through it as Gaara tried to keep his face impassive and distant as possible. Once it had finished Gaara promised himself that he would never do the things Kankuro said but at the moment it was becoming unbearable.

Gaara slowly uncrossed his arms, letting his hesitant fingers loosen the tie of his pants. His body thanked him instantly for the release of the uncomfortable restraint. A small shiver passed through him, causing him to pause, hand still holding the string. Gaara didn't know if he could go through with it. For some reason he felt like he was _using_ Noriko and it embarrassed him to think of what she would do if she ever found out.

_"But she won't, unless you tell her."_ His voice of reason spoke up.

Still slightly unsure but more determined to release the pressure in his body, Gaara continued. His right hand dipped slowly into the front of his pants and he placed his left hand behind him, to steady himself if he needed. His cool fingers brushed down the side of his length and he unwillingly let out a small gasp. He pushed down his pants before he wrapping his hand around himself quickly, giving a small tug. This time Gaara let out a full groan and his left hand gripped his blanket tightly. He stopped again as the new feeling wracked through him and images of Noriko came to the forefront again.

Gaara gave another experimental tug and found the same satisfaction as before. Without thinking, he continued his ministrations slowly, savoring the rapidly building tension. His hand gripped tightly at the base and he jerked forward quickly, fingers brushing over the sensitive head.

"N-Ngh." Gaara groaned, head falling back, mouth parting.

He panted slightly, raising his head back up to look at himself again. Gaara was surprised to see that he was harder than before, the head leaking with white fluid. He allowed his hand to rub against the tip, smearing the substance and the wet friction caused another groan to rip from his throat. Gaara focused on the image of Noriko's nude body as his movements became jerky and quick. It didn't take long for him to build to a painful tension after that.

"N-Noriko..." Gaara moaned, eyes closing as his head dropped back again.

A few strokes later and Gaara couldn't contain it anymore. With one final tug forward and another throaty groan Gaara came into his right hand as his left clenched tightly in his blanket. He sat there, panting heavily and he could feel the thick liquid drip between his fingers. When he finally regained control of his breathing he looked down again, an embarrassed blush coloring his cheeks.

Gaara shoved himself forward, hunching his body slightly but basked in the after glow, regardless of his embarrassment. He wiped his hand on his already soiled pants, tucking himself away in the process. He sat there for a long time, trying to reason with himself that it was only natural despite how _unnatural _it felt to him.

* * *

_"Let's play!" The small girl said, smiling up at me._

_"Play? How can we play in here? It's nothing but a white room." I said in confusion._

_"Wrong! We can play all kinds of things. I know some fun hand games." She said, continuing to smile._

_"If I play with you, will you explain this to me? I know I'm dreaming but this feels so real..." I trailed off._

_"I promise," The girl nodded, "Now sit down!"_

_I obliged, seating myself on the ground. She copied my action, reaching her tiny hands forward. I raised my own and our open palms slapped together quietly. She giggled, removing her hands and clapping them. I did the same, which only increased her happiness. The game continued for a while and I vaguely wondered if she was purposely avoiding my questions._

_"You should stay away from the dark," She suddenly spoke, "It's not safe."_

_"So you've told me." I muttered, slightly annoyed._

_"I'm just reminding you," She said as our palms came together again, "You started here this time. It made me happy that I didn't have to go and get you."_

_"Why did I start in here?" I asked, spreading my fingers apart._

_"I don't know." She replied, giving a small shrug._

_"Are you going to tell me anything?" I asked, dropping my hands to my lap._

_"Not yet." She whispered, dropping her gaze._

_"Why not!" I snapped, "You said if I played your game then you would tell me!"_

_"It's not time yet."_

_"Then when will it be time?" I growled, eye twitching._

_"It's not up to me. It's up to you and you haven't decided yet." She said quietly, reaching for my hands again._

_I sighed, allowing her to lace our fingers, "I don't understand any of this. I'm going crazy. I'm sitting here, in some white room with _you_, the child version of_ me_ and even though I know it's a dream I can't get any answers. I thought dreams were controlled by the dreamer..."_

_"They are. Like I said, you haven't decided yet. I can't explain anything, since you and I are the same."_

* * *

"Tamaki?" I asked into the dark forest, "Is that you?"

No one answered me and I frowned, turning towards Yumiryo. I gave her shoulder a small shake and when she sat up, I put my finger to my lips. She frowned as well, reaching for the katana that lay on the ground next to her. I pointed in the direction I had heard 'Tamaki' and indicated for her to stay here while I investigated. She gave me a nod, standing when I did.

I pulled a kunai from my pouch, crouching low to the ground as I made my way. I noticed the fire had died away on its own, causing my frown to deepen.

_"Tamaki shouldn't have been gone that long."_

I continued my creep, trying to sense any unknown chakra but there was none. A sudden, surprised yelp caused me to whirl around quickly. My mouth dropped open in horror as Yumiryo's own blade was now pressed against her neck. She was illuminated in the moon light but I couldn't see who held her due to the shadows and I took a cautious step forward.

"Don't move." The person rumbled deeply, indicating it was male.

"What do you want?" I asked, gripping my kunai tighter.

"Drop your weapon and I might not kill the woman." The man said instead.

I weighed my options. My first was to not listen but the success of Yumiryo keeping her life was 15% at most. I had to take into consideration that this man had probably already killed Tamaki and would easily do so with Yumiryo as well. If that was the case then it would mean _I _was the mans target and if that were true option two would weigh better in both Yumiryo and my own favor.

"Alright." I said, throwing my kunai into a near by tree.

It gave a loud thud as it embedded itself in the wood. I waited patiently for the man to speak again, arms dangling by my sides.

"Let her go now," I said after a few minutes, "I complied with your demand."

"I said I _might_ not kill her. I never promised I wouldn't." The man replied evenly.

_"I should try and bluff."_

"You're out numbered," I said loudly, "I have two others out scouting the area. If they come back you'll be the one we _might_ not kill."

"Don't lie, it's not becoming on young ladies," The man chuckled, calling my bluff, "I already killed your scout. You're a three person cell."

"How do you know that?" I demanded.

"I've been following you." He said simply.

In the distance I heard a bird begin to chirp and I noticed the sun was starting to rise.

_"If I can stall him until daylight, it might increase our chances by 12- No, 7%."_

"Why have you been following us?" I asked slowly.

"You're in no place to be asking me questions," He chuckled again, "But I've come all this way, so I may as well tell you."

"Then do so." I snapped, trying to reign control of my anger.

The sky began to brighten but the trees still blocked out much of the light. Yumiryo let out a quiet hiss and my eyes snapped to her neck. A thin trail of blood trickled down, staining the collar of the tan Jounin vest she wore. I bit my lip from yelling at the man, fists clenching tightly.

"Is that any way to speak to someone who holds a hostage?" The man joked.

"I've never met an enemy who spoke so casually before." I retorted.

"I guess I'm confidant then." He said lightly.

"I would say cocky."

_"Two minutes. Two minutes until I can see him."_

"You flatter me so, Noriko."

"How do you know my name?" I asked hotly.

"I know a lot about you Noriko," The man said quietly, "I know you reside in Suna and that you graduated the academy at 7. You enjoy reading in your spare time and your favorite food is Fugu or Tataki. I personally prefer Fugu myself but I understand how expensive fish must be in Suna. You visit your mothers grave only once a year, always alone and you bring her imported sunflowers. I also know you're an ANBU now and up until five months ago you were the Godaime Kazekage's personal body guard. Quite the feat, being only 15. No, that's not right, you're 16 now aren't you?"

My body tensed as he recited the information. Information that I was sure no one, not even Gaara knew.

_"One minute. Just wait, Yumiryo. Only one more minute."_

"But I digress, you wanted to know why I have been following you first, correct?"

I nodded slowly, counting down the seconds.

_"15, 14, 13, 12, 11-."_

"I decided to reward you for your trouble," He said easily, "Five months is a long time to look for someone."

The sun's light finally washed over us and I found it hard to breath as I stared into the mans eyes. Golden orbs identical to my own.

* * *

"We just got word from Noriko's squad." Kankuro said, handing Gaara the scroll.

Gaara accepted it, opening it quickly. He read over it carefully, giving a small sigh.

"Still haven't found him?" Kankuro asked, leaning forward to try and catch a glimpse.

"No, Tamaki-san says that all of their leads have been a dead end." Gaara murmured, rolling the scroll closed.

"I bet Noriko isn't happy about that." Kankuro mumbled.

Gaara flushed slightly at her name, bowing his head to hide it from his brother.

"What about the borders? Are they doing well at least? No more attacks right?" Kankuro asked, trying to snatch the scroll away.

"Tamaki-san wrote that they haven't encountered any more enemies." Gaara said, tucking the scroll into his robes.

Kankuro pouted, crossing his arms over his chest, "And Noriko? Did he say how she's doing?"

"She doesn't sleep enough," Gaara murmured, frowning slightly, "But it has yet to interfere with her performance."

"You should tell them to come home," Kankuro said, "As soon as they finish up with border patrol. If she stays out there looking for him, it will be months before she finds him."

"I will wait."

"But for how long? What if it isn't months but _years_!" Kankuro said in exasperation.

"She will return eventually." Gaara said quietly.

"I hope so." Kankuro grumbled.


	11. Chapter 11

_"This is a dream. This isn't... It's not real..."_

"Well? Aren't you going to say hello to your Otou-chan?" He asked, lips curling back in a smirk.

Yumiryo and I both stiffened, her in shock and me in horror. My jaw unhinged and I felt bile begin to rise in my throat. I fought it down, snapping my mouth closed. His smirk didn't waver in the least, if anything it grew wider than before. I watched as Yumiryo opened her mouth, round eyes staring into mine.

"We look more alike then I thought," He mused, "You've got my hair and eyes. Lucky you, huh?"

"P-Please, stop," I whispered, no _begged_, "J-Just let us go."

"I can't do that, use your head Noriko," He sighed, giving his own a shake, "I already killed one of your squad men. I'm officially an enemy of Suna now. I can't leave her alive."

Without warning he slashed the blade across Yumiryo's neck. When I saw no blood at first, I prayed he did this to scare us but her eyes widened considerably, mouth parting in surprise. Blood spilled like a waterfall from the tiny slice, soaking her tan vest a dark black. My _father_ released his hold on her and Yumiryo took a staggered step forward. She didn't even take another before her body fell forward, collapsing with a loud 'thunk'.

"I'm slightly disappointed. I thought for sure she would put up a better fight than that man," He said, dropping the katana, "He was very honorable though. Refused to give away your position, not that I needed it."_  
_

His words barely registered in my head as I continued to stare at Yumiryo. The blood from her neck began to seep across the ground and without thinking my body reacted. I ran across the short space, hands already glowing white.

_"I-I can't let her die for me!"_ My mind screamed as I dropped to my knees beside her.

My shaking hands reached out slowly, ever so carefully turning her on her back. I froze again as her lifeless eyes stared up into mine. I bit my lip to break the spell, reaching forward to place my hands over the wound. A pale hand grasped my wrist tightly and I jerked away from his touch, skin burning. My own eyes stared back at me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," He scolded as if I was a child, "I made sure it's something you wouldn't be able to fix. Too long and deep. You'd die with her."

"W-Why?" I asked, eyes wide.

I was vaguely away that tears had began to stream down my face. I wanted to wipe them away but I couldn't. I couldn't force myself to blink or dry them. He continued stare at me before sighing. He ran a hand through his short white hair, gracefully straightening back to stand. My eyes followed his movements in morbid fascination.

"Jeez. I knew I should have raised you myself," He said offhandedly, "I already _told _you. I'm Suna's enemy now. I couldn't just leave witnesses alive."

"I'm Sunagakure no Noriko," I said furiously from the ground, "_I'm_ you're enemy! Why aren't you saying you're going to kill me!"

"You're my daughter," He shrugged as if it explained everything, "Do you want to die so badly?"

"I..."

_"I don't. Not until you answer me..."_

"You don't have to answer me. I already know you don't. You're too curious." He laughed lightly.

"I'm going to kill you!" I growled, grabbing Yumiryo's fallen katana as I jumped to my feet.

"No you won't." He said evenly, eyes _daring_ me to prove him wrong.

"You don't _know_ me!" I shouted, pointing the blade at him._  
_

"But I know me. We're a lot alike," He grinned, spreading his arms wide, "Go ahead, prove me wrong. I won't stop you."

The katana suddenly felt heavy in my grasp and my arm shook uncontrollably. With anger, with hurt, with _everything_. My arm dropped to my side, tip of the katana dragging across the grass. He smirked again, lowering his arms as well. I dropped my gaze to ground.

"_B-Bastard_." I whispered hoarsely, fingers slacking.

"Such crude language for such a young girl. What would Hanako say?" He asked.

"Don't say her name! You have no right to _defile_ her memory!" I shouted angrily.

"Stop shouting Noriko. You're acting childish, act like the ANBU you are," He chastised, "No daughter of mine will act like this."

"I'm _not_ your daughter! You're _not_ my father! You're the reason my Kaa-san is dead! You're the reason I...!"

"Go on." He urged calmly.

"The reason I've... _Suffered_..." I said quietly.

"No."

"No? You're going to deny that! You killed her! What you did! That's why she's dead!" I growled in disbelief.

"I did no such thing." He said, taking a step closer to me.

I took a step away, raising the katana quickly. To my surprise he didn't stop and soon enough the tip was pressed against his chest lightly. I didn't know what horrified me more. The fact that he seemed utterly relaxed with the situation or the fact that I wasn't skewering him through.

"I'm not saying that I'm a good man," He continued, giving a small grin, "Actually. Kumogakure had every reason to brand me as a missing-nin. But I can _promise_ I had nothing to do with Hanako's death."

"Yo-You raped her... That's why she was murdered..." I said quietly.

I jumped as he threw his head back in wild laughter. I growled in anger, courage to kill him rushing back. I leaned forward, pressing the tip of the blade against his chest again. When it broke the material of his shirt he stopped laughing but his humorous grin didn't drop.

"So that's what they've told you?" He asked, chuckling again, "People these days. No one likes to tell the truth."

"W-What're you trying... To say...?"

"I understand that you probably won't believe me, I guess I wouldn't believe me either," He joked, "But I've got no reason to lie to you Noriko. Not after you've come all this way to see me."

"This _isn't_ a social visit." I hissed.

"I know. But I can dream right?" He asked rhetorically, "You're here for answers and to kill me. Let's just put off the killing until later, ne? I'll answer your questions first."

"Then explain!" I demanded, shoulders shaking with rage.

"I'll start with Hanako," He said, taking a step back, "It's like I said. I had nothing to do with her "murder" and I did not "rape" her. She was more than willingly."

In blind furry I swung the katana at him, missing by a hairsbreadth. He dodged my rapid slashes with ease, jumping a few feet away. I followed after as I continued my barrage, each miss making me angrier. He dropped to the ground, sweeping his leg to knock mine out from under me. I quickly stuck the katana in the ground, flipping over it and landed a few feet away. I dropped into a fighting stance, pulling three shuriken from their pouch.

"BASTARD!" I screamed, throwing the deadly weapons towards him.

He dodged two, catching the third on his pointer finger. It spun down the appendage quickly, coming full stop as it reached his hand. I gave a smirk, tugging the wire in my left hand tightly. It gave a 'twang' as it was pulled taunt, catching him in it's snare. My smugness was cut short as he 'poofed' away in a cloud of smoke.

_"Substitution!" _

"Not bad." He called from behind me.

I whirled around to face him, giving him a heated glare. He was still grinning, casually leaning against a nearby tree.

"Don't _mock_ me!" I shouted, balling my fingers into fists.

"I was praising you!" He defended, sounding childish.

"I don't want _your_ praise!" I shot back, launching for another attack.

* * *

_"I can't believe myself. I can't believe I... I did _that_... Thinking about Noriko..."_ Gaara thought, keeping the blush off his face, _"If she ever finds out... I won't think about it..."_

"And- Kazekage-sama, are you listening?" Ryuuno spoke suddenly, breaking Gaara from his thoughts.

Gaara gave him a slight nod and the Councilman sighed, giving a slight shake of his head.

"You've been increasingly distracted, Kazekage-sama. Perhaps we should postpone this meeting until noon?" He proposed lightly.

"I'm fine." Gaara said firmly.

"Then at least allow me to call a recess for the Council. Noon, after lunch?" He asked.

Gaara gave a slight shrug and the members of Council bowed as they filed from the room. He frowned slightly, knowing he should _probably_ head back to his office to work. As he exited the room he was greeted by his new ANBU escort. The man was stotic and serious about his job. Completely _non-Noriko_ in every way. It made Gaara want her back that much more.

"Soon." Gaara reminded himself quietly.

* * *

"Are you done yet?"

I panted heavily, hands resting on my knees to catch my breath as I shot the man a ferocious glare. He raised his hands in mock surrender, effectively making me angrier.

_"I should have trained more! Harder! I should have _slept_ more! Tama... He was right!"_ I cursed inwardly, forcing myself to stand straight.

"If we _are_ done then let's talk finally, no fists please." He grinned, sitting criss-cross on the ground.

I gave him a disbelieving look.

_"This is all too strange. I still feel like it's a dream."_

"Come on, sit down already. You've worn yourself out." He said, patting the ground near him.

"You're insane," I muttered darkly, choosing to sit where I stood, "You kill off my squad, you killed my Kaa-san and you act as if _nothing_ is fucking wrong. I _will_ kill you."

"Well not in that state you aren't!" He chuckled but sudden looked serious for the first time, "You want answers. I'll give them to you. Wait until I'm finished before you try to kill me again."

"How can I trust anything you say?" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You can't. Just listen and then decide."

My eyes widened fractionally as I remembered my last dream in the confusing white room. How the little girl version of myself said I had to decide on something.

_"Was that the meaning? Am I going to have to choose...? How did she... How did I know-I, UGH! I'm so confused! I'm so... So... Lost..."_

"Are you ready?" He asked.

I gave him a hesitant nod and he gave me a sort of half smile.

"I guess I'll start from the beginning by telling you what kind of man I am, err, used to be? I'm still the same, _I_ think... But I'll explain about _before_ I became a missing-nin. I'm sure you want to hear about your Otou-chan, ne?"

I shot him a look that said 'get on with the fucking story', to which he merely grinned.

"Right, okay. So before I became a missing-nin I was a Special Jounin in Kumo, which I'm sure is in the Bingo Book. Kumo and Suna weren't on good terms back then, practically in the midst of battle... Still not very friendly now... Anyway, I was given many missions, our Kekkei Genkai being particularly useful in battle situations-"

"What? In _battle_? But it's a practically _worthless_ Kekkei Genkai." I grumbled, still uncomfortable with this.

_"I'm just as insane as he is for talking with him..." _

"It is not!" He bit out, "You just don't know how to use it. I can teach-"

"I'm so _fucking_ confused. About all of this. Everything! I feel like I'm going insane! This is too much for me to_ handle_!" I growled, fingers tugging at my hair.

"Noriko, stop!" He demanded, causing me to flinch, "Just let me finish, please."

I stayed silent so he began to speak again.

"As I was saying, I was chosen for many missions and that is how I met Hanako," He gave a small chuckle, "She was beautiful and _strong_. She ended up capturing me and my squad without casualties. She was also unexpectedly gentle. I won't bore you with the details but I ended up falling for her. She was pretty resistant at first, ignoring me and assigning other's to watch me but she came around eventually."

"If... Why were you kept alive?" I asked, feeling guiltily interested.

_"This is probably a lie. Don't forget that."_

"We had Intel that they wanted. Of course, being honorable shinobi, we gave nothing away and Suna decided to keep us as hostages. In case Kumo ever wanted to negotiate. Which was a stupid idea. In Kumo we're trained that if taken as a hostage, suicide is our only option," At this he grimaced slightly, "But if I'm honest, I think it had to do with Hanako. She was such a caring woman."

I almost smiled at his tone, before mentally slapping myself.

_"He has manipulation down to an art."_

"Anyway, back to my main point," He said seriously, "One day, to my surprise, she freed us."

"_What_?" I hissed, "She... She _freed_ you? She wouldn't have! She-She would have been killed!"

"I know it's pretty hard to believe. I found it hard to believe as well but it's the truth. She set us free and wasn't found out. At least, not at first," He mused quietly, "When my squad and myself arrived back in Kumo we were given immediate orders to kill her and her squad."

"But you... They said the man she was married to..."

"All lies." He waved off.

"So then _you_ killed her?" I asked, anger flaring dangerously.

"Don't be stupid, Noriko," He snorted, "I already told you I had fallen for her. She is the reason why I became a missing-nin."

_"The reason...?"_

"I accepted the mission but before our squads could clash again I killed my own."

_"..."_

"I met Hanako in secret and told her what I had done. She wasn't very happy with me, I can assure you that. Broke one of my arms," He said, rubbing at his left arm slightly, "She healed me after but it still hurt."

At this he gave a light laugh but I didn't find anything he said funny. I was in shock and my body was more tense than it had ever been.

"I didn't see her after that night but I tried to keep tabs on her. That's how, around 9 months later, I found out that she had given birth. I was shocked, even more so when I learned that the baby had white hair and golden eyes," He gave me a half smile, "I'm happy Hanako named you Noriko. It's a fitting name for my daughter. "Law and Order". I think she did it as a joke. Everything about how you came to be was anything but lawful and orderly."

"Then... I don't understand... Who... How did... She's _dead_." Was all I could say, heart beating heavily in my chest.

"Yes," He frowned, "After you were born, they must have pieced together that she was the one who let me escape. She was sentenced to death."

* * *

_"Congratulations, Hanako-san, you have a baby girl." The medic-nin smiled, handing the woman a small bundle._

_"Arigato..." She murmured, cuddling the baby close to her chest. _

_"Have you decided on a name?" The medic asked._

_"Noriko." Hanako said quietly, gently moving the blanket to see her child._

_"Noriko it is then." _

_Hanako gave a small smile as the medic left the room. Her eyes softened even more as she stared at Noriko. A small tuft of white hair graced her tiny head and her face was calm as she slept. Hanako placed her lips against the baby's forehead in a soft kiss, forcing herself not to clutch the baby too tightly._

_"Noriko," She murmured as she pulled away, "My darling Noriko."_

_Noriko didn't stir and Hanako gave another small smile._

_"Noriko, Kaa-chan's darling little Noriko." _

_It was quiet in the hospital room but Hanako could feel the chakra of the shinobi outside. _

_"Noriko, Kaa-chan doesn't have much time," She whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks, "I hope you don't hate me, Noriko. Kaa-chan loves you very much..."_

_The door was opened and two men dressed in the Jounin uniform stepped inside. Hanako didn't look at them, keeping her eyes on her sleeping baby. They took another step closer and Hanako's grip on the blanket tightened. _

_"You know why we're here." One of the men spoke up._

_"Hai..." Hanako said softly, finally turning tear stained eyes towards them._

_"Why did you do it Hanako? Why did you betray your village?" The other demanded angrily._

_"Not so loud, please. Noriko is sleeping." She said quietly._

_"You and that bastard child are going to be put to death." _

_Hanako's eyes widened in surprise and her head snapped around towards them. _

_"This child hasn't done anything!" She said desperately, "Please don't punish her for what I have done!"_

_"It isn't up to us," The taller one growled, "We're under the Kazekage's orders. You should have thought about your child before committing such a crime, Hanako."_

_"Please," She begged, "Don't kill her. She doesn't know anything. She doesn't need to know anything. She's not even a day old."_

_The men didn't say anything, instead reaching forward to grab the baby from her arms. Hanako tried to fight them off but couldn't. As one restrained her the other pulled the baby into his arms. Hanako thrashed against the one holding her, trying to reach for her child. The sleeping child began to wail at the noise, face scrunching up. The Jounin holding the child flinched slightly._

_"Shut up, bastard child!" He shouted, going to cover it's face with the blanket._

_"Don't! Stop! That will kill her!" Hanako cried out, hand reaching towards the pair._

_"Then stop." The other demanded. _

_Hanako's hand dropped instantly and she hung her head. The baby continued to wail, small fists stretched upwards. He gave a grunt, holding the child out to her mother. Hanako quickly pulled the baby to her chest, giving Noriko soothing words and comfort._

_"Shut the baby up and follow us."_

* * *

_"Kazekage-sama, I beg you, please. You have children of your own. Don't kill mine." Hanako pleaded, tiny baby still clutched in her arms._

_"You're in no position to ask me anything." The Kazekage hissed._

_"I'm not asking you for me," Hanako said quietly, "I'm begging you for the sake of my daughter." _

_"It's a bastard child. An enemy's child." _

_"She could be useful to Suna!" Hanako said, "She could become a great shinobi, if given the chance!"_

_"Suna already has many fine shinobi and will continue to, without an enemy's spawn." He said firmly._

_"What if she has her fathers Kekkei Genkai?" She questioned desperately, "It would be a tool for Suna. She could have it! You won't know if you kill her! And Kumogakure won't know! She can become a secret weapon."_

_'I'm sorry, my darling Noriko.' _

_The Kazekage seemed to give the idea deep thought, leaning back in his chair slightly. When he didn't answer right away, Hanako prayed that she had won. Prayed that she had saved the life of her only child. _

_"You are still to be put to death." The Kazekage finally spoke._

_Hanako's tears were of joy as she bowed deeply to the man._

_"Arigato, Kazekage-sama." She whispered._

_"I'm not doing it for you or that bastard child. I'm doing this for the future of Suna." He replied coolly._

_"Understood, Kazekage-sama." _

_'Don't hate me, my darling Noriko. Kaa-chan loves you very much.'_

* * *

"Death..." I whispered quietly, arms hugging my knees.

"Hai. Death." My father repeated.

My heart pounded painfully against my ribs and I struggled to breath.

"I'm not sure how you were left alive. Hanako's will no doubt but I am beyond happy that you lived," He said quietly, "You have your mothers face. Such a beautiful face. And the shape of her eyes. I wish I could have taken you when I found out that they let you live but you were always heavily guarded. The Kazekage probably knew I would want to take you-"

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" I shouted, jumping to my feet, "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU'RE LYING TO ME! You're trying... I don't know what you're trying to do! But you're _lying_ to me! You _have _to be lying to me!"

My _father_ stood as well, shaking his head and I growled, angry at the action.

"I'm not lying to you Noriko," He said softly, "I know this must be hard. But I'm telling you the truth. It's your decision to trust me or not."

_"Like I said, you haven't decided yet. I can't explain anything, since you and I are the same." _

My head began to feel light as my dream rushed back to me and I clutched at my chest. My breaths came out in heavy, forced pants and I was aware that these were the starting signs of a panic attack. I didn't know when I fell to the ground but like a far off cry I heard my father calling my name. His golden eyes searched mine with worry. That was the last thing I saw before everything went black.


	12. Chapter 12

_"How did you know about this!" I shouted angrily, hands balling into fists._

_"I didn't know!" The younger version of myself yelled back._

_"Then why have I been having these weird dreams? Huh? I don't understand!" I shouted again._

_"I'm you. Stop forgetting that! Why don't you ask yourself!" She snapped, turning her nose in the air. _

_'I was never this rude when I was young!'_

_"I can hear your thoughts." She growled, turning bright eyes towards me. _

_"Can't you just explain all of this?" I asked, taking a deep breath._

_"Like I said, ask yourself." _

_"You are me! And you know more than I do!" I said desperately, "At least help _us_ understand."_

_She sighed, running tiny fingers through her hair. I watched as her mouth set in a firm line and her eyes narrowed at the ground. Suddenly she turned a bright smile towards me, reaching out a hand. I allowed her to lace our fingers, causing her smile to brighten even more. _

_"Maybe," She started softly, causing me to strain to hear her, "Maybe we always knew something was wrong. Maybe Otou-chan is telling the truth."_

_"Don't call him that," I grumbled, "What if he's lying?"_

_"What if he's not?" She asked softly, fingers squeezing mine._

* * *

My eyes opened slowly in the darkness, candle's light flickering dully. I shot up quickly, wincing when my head began to throb.

"Finally awake?" A deep voice called.

My head whipped around quickly and I spotted my _father_ leaning against the far wall, smiling at me.

"W-Where are we?" I croaked, throat dry and scratchy.

"A cave. I like to call it "Hideout C" but "Home C" works too," He chuckled, "Thirsty Noriko?"

I nodded slowly, sniffing the water he handed me. When I didn't smell anything wrong with it I took a large gulp, cold water hurting my throat more than helping. I coughed, handing him the canteen back. I glanced down at my hands, fingers wringing nervously as he leaned back against the wall.

"You fainted. Had a panic attack, if you wanted to know." He said.

"I figured as much." I grunted, slightly embarrassed.

"You feeling alright? You hit your head."

"Why... Why are you doing this? I don't understand anything... I don't even know... How can I trust you?" I mumbled, turning my eyes to his.

"You can't I suppose. But I'm not asking you too." He smiled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Then what do you want from me?" I snapped, anger swirling in my stomach.

"I just wanted to see my daughter. That's not a crime is it?" He teased.

"This isn't a joke!" I shouted, "Killing my squad members is a crime! All just to "see my daughter"? I'm not buying it!"

"I couldn't very well walk up to you with them around. Their mission was to assassinate me." He responded easily.

"It's _my_ mission too! _My _life's goal!_ Purpose_! They had nothing to do with this!" I growled, "You murdered innocent people!"

"I've done it before. Murdered my own people. What makes Suna's sepcial? I _am_ a missing-nin, if you haven't forgotten, Noriko." He scolded.

"Stop treating me like a child!" I shouted, jumping to my feet.

My head felt light and I grabbed onto the wall nearest me to steady myself. I took a few calming breaths before I shot him a furious glare. His eyes looked slightly concerned but it was gone just as quick.

_"He probably wanted me to see that."_ I thought heatedly.

"You should sit down. You've had a stressful day." He mused.

"I don't _need_ to sit down! Or listen to you-you bastard!" I growled, pushing off the wall.

"My names Tamotsu. Feel free to use that, Tamo or Otou-chan. I'm partial to Otou-chan myself." He grinned, candlelight flickered off his face.

"Bastard works just fine." I hissed, going to cross my arms but stopped myself.

_"Too similar."_

We stayed quiet, holding each others gaze. My lips pulled into a frown and his grin grew wider, if possible.

"Are you hungry?" He asked suddenly.

I went to shake my head 'no' but my stomach betrayed me, rumbling loudly at the word. I pouted, dropping my glare to my stomach. Tamotsu laughed, walking towards a wicker basket in the corner. I tried to stay put but my curiosity and hunger got the best of me. Slowly, very slowly, I inched forward. As he turned around I stopped, huffing and looking away.

"Bread isn't much but I wasn't expecting guests." He said, holding out the loaf to me.

I carefully grabbed it, making sure not to touch him. I sniffed the bread as well before scarfing it down quickly. He shook his head in what I supposed was humor, taking a bite of his own loaf. An awkward air fell over us as I finished off my food. I scuffed the toe of my sandal on the dirt floor, grunting a half 'Arigato'.

"Don't mention it," He said, "Now let's talk about more important things."

"More... Important thing?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, "Like what?"

"You're training of course."

* * *

"I miss Noriko!" Kankuro whined, dropping his head onto the kitchen table, "It's so boring around here!"

"Sit up, baka!" Temari snapped, shoving a bowl of food under his nose.

Kankuro eyed it warily, almost tempted to poke it and see if it moved. He refrained since his sister was still in the room. Gaara didn't say anything but also gave the food a weary glance.

"It's not going to eat you!" Temari growled, dropping into her own seat.

"I didn't say it was!" Kankuro defended.

Quietly the three siblings began to eat, Kankuro occasional pausing to grimace. Temari felt the 'tick' on her forehead grow and after a pitiful whimper left her brothers mouth, she snapped.

"Don't eat it if you don't want it! Starve for all I care!"

"Really?" Kankuro asked, perking up, "Great! Takeout tonight! How about you Gaara?"

"All of the shops are closed, baka!" Temari shouted.

"Not for the Kazekage." He replied, waggling his brows.

"Ugh! You're insufferable! If Noriko were here she would force you to eat it and you'd keep quiet!"

Kankuro pouted as a depressing mood settled over all of them. Kankuro slowly brought the "food" to his lips again, taking another bite, keeping the grimace off his face. Temari sighed, eyes darting towards Gaara. The red head didn't look at either of them, his head kept down as he continued to eat.

"I wonder what she's eating," Kankuro mused loudly, "Probably good foreign food. They were on the border of River Country in the last report."

"She's not on vacation, Kankuro!" Temari said, "They're probably hunting their own food. Trying to keep a low profile."

"Maybe she's in a small village or something," Kankuro said, ignoring her, "I bet the bath houses there are awesome! I hear they even have co-ed baths!"

"Co-ed?" Gaara spoke up, startling them both.

Temari sent Kankuro an angry glare and he chucked nervously.

"Umm. Yeah... Like when you and Noriko bathed together..." He trailed off, scratching his neck.

Gaara frowned, an unfamiliar feeling settling in his stomach. It was almost painful and he instantly knew he didn't like it.

"I'm sure Noriko isn't like that," Temari said quickly, "It's different because it was Gaara."

"Really? I hear Tamaki is a huge per-"

"Persistor of tradition! He would never select a co-ed bath! _Ever_." She hissed at Kankuro.

Kankuro winced at her tone, frowning and scooped her cooking into his mouth. He gagged, dropping his spoon. Temari looked at Gaara, hoping he hadn't noticed how rushed she had sounded.

"It has nothing to do with it being me," Gaara spoke quietly, "Noriko-chan was too kind to refuse."

"That's not true," Temari argued, "I bet if it had been anyone else, she would have beat them to near death."

"Lucky you're the Kazekage, ne, Gaara?" Kankuro practically giggled.

"SHUT UP ALREADY, YOU BAKA! BEFORE I KILL YOU!"

"YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME! I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR FAVORITE BROTHER?"

* * *

"My training?" I asked skeptically.

"Hai." Tamotsu grinned.

"I'm an ANBU. What could you teach me?" I snapped, "How to kill my comrades?"

"No," He pouted, "How to use your Kekkei Genkai properly. You said earlier it was worthless. Explain."

"Are you serious? If we have the same Kekkei Genkai then I shouldn't have to!"

"Just explain Noriko." He sighed, waving me over to a small table.

I followed him reluctantly, sitting in the seat across from his. He gave me an expectant stare and I frowned, crossing my arms before he got the chance.

"There's not much to explain. It's like a knockoff medical-ninjutsu right? I can take the dead and damaged cells of another but it causes the injury on me. It's useless, unless I'm being used as a last resort. That's why I was made Gaara... The Kazekage's personal guard. If he dies, then I bring him back to life. Simple as that," I mumbled, "I don't see how that's "battle worthy" or whatever you said earlier."

_"Please don't let him question why I called him Gaara. Dear Kami, you fail me often but I'm really begging you this time."_

Tamotsu raised an eyebrow at the mess up but didn't say anything.

_"Dear Kami... I don't even know what to say to you right now..."_

Tamotsu put on a thoughtful look as he chewed the last of his bread. I waited patiently, foot tapping on the ground in annoyance. He suddenly turned a bright smile to me, causing me to flinch. I definately didn't like how cheerful and carefree he was.

_"I can't believe Kaa-chan would fall for him."_

'You didn't know her.' Inner me said, causing me to frown outright.

"You really don't know much, Noriko."

"Gee, _thanks_ Tamotsu." I growled.

"But that's okay! Really! I'm happy that you got that part down! That's the hard part. Being able to accept the pain and forcing your body to accept it. The next half will be easy!" He said cheerfully.

"You're not really explaining anything."

"Oh... Right... Well our Kekkei Genkai is battle worthy because the process can be _reversed_." He said smugly, as if he just proved me wrong.

"That makes absolutely no sense," I muttered, "Just spit it out already."

"Well, when I mean reversed, I mean that you can also put the damage _you_ receive on someone else! We're practically immortal! And the transfer of your own wounds to another takes a lot less time than taking them. You have to focus over the injury, right?" He asked excitedly.

I nodded, half in shock and half in awe at the revelation.

"Right! So in a hypothetical situation, let's say you're leg is badly injured, deep gash or something. All you have to do is focus your chakra and if you can get a hold on the enemy for at least, 3-5 seconds then you can begin the reversal. It takes only 20 seconds to react fully after that. You don't need to keep your hold on them either. It will work at a long range, if you can master the technique that is," He said, nodding to himself, "But I have faith in you as my and Hanako's child!"

"Are you... Are you really telling me the truth?" I whispered, all anger towards him momentarily gone.

"I really wish you would stop accusing me of lying. It's getting annoying. Your Otou-chan just wants what's best for you!"

_"I think I understand now... Slightly..."_

"And you'll teach me? Really?" Hope seeping into my voice.

"Of course, Noriko. On one condition." He said slyly.

"Go on." I said, leaning forward in my seat.

"You must call me Otou-chan!" He cheered, clapping his hands together.

"I REFUSE!" I shouted, shoving my chair back.

He laughed wildly, hands clutching at his stomach.

"Alright, alright. I was only joking."

"You better have been." I snapped, blushing in anger.

We were quiet again, leaving me to my thoughts.

_"This is... For some reason... I don't hate him as much... I'm actually... Happy?"_

'So you trust him now?'

_"Not in the slightest. But if everything he says is true. I would like to confirm it. And maybe... I don't know... It's a gut feeling..."_

"So does this mean you believe me now? Do you finally trust me?" He asked, leaning back in his chair.

"No. But I've decided on something." I said truthfully.

"Really? What have you decided?" He asked curiously.

"I've decided that, even if I don't trust you, this training can help me become stronger. Then I can find out the truth. About all of this," I murmured, waving between us, "If I find you're lying then I'll finish my first mission. If not... I don't know what I'll do yet..."

"What about Suna? This training will take a while and I did kill your squad off. The Kazekage and Council won't sit by idly once they learn that. You could be branded a missing-nin for this."

"I... I didn't think about that..." I trailed off, frowning.

Tamotsu gave me a smile, reaching to ruffle my hair but I slapped his hand away.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes. Perhaps I can make you look like a hostage, if they find us." He said, smile not falling.

"Yeah, perhaps..."

_"Gaara... What would you think of me now...?"_

* * *

Gaara sat alone on the roof, staring off but not looking at anything. His mind drifted to Noriko, as it always did when he wasn't busy. How it did even when he was. He wondered if she was thinking of him, frowning slightly.

_"I don't think she is."_

'Shut up you damn brat!'

Gaara's frown deepened at Shukaku's voice. He hadn't heard much from him in the last few months, mostly keeping to himself. Gaara knew he was upset with him and his change in personal beliefs.

'Damn right I am brat! Why don't we go feel _alive_ tonight! It's been a while hasn't it?' He asked wickedly.

_"Leave me be, demon."_

'It's a full moon tonight, what better time than this? Let's go find a _pretty_ girl to take your frustrations out on, then we can kill her.' Shukaku laughed manically.

Gaara gave a low growl of warning but the demon just laughed.

'Or we could go find _that_ girl,' He said with dark humor, 'Take her as _ours_. She should belong to _us_. And when we're finished with her, we ca-'

"_SILENCE_!" Gaara shouted aloud, grabbing at his hair.

Shukaku continued to laugh and Gaara felt as if he was going to go insane. The harsh tugs did nothing to alleviate the pain in his head or chest. He was stuck in an agony that no one could save him from. He desperately tried to think of Noriko's smiling face as Shukaku forced images of her in pain upon him. Of her beaten and bloody and dying, by his _own_ hands.

'She's not safe with you,' Shukaku spoke snidely, 'You'll kill her.'

"I won't." Gaara whispered harshly.

'I am your instincts. You will mess up brat and I will be freed. When you do, I'll kill her. I'll let her die, by our hand.'

Gaara's body shook and he screwed his eyes shut tightly, trying to will the demon's voice away.

"I won't let you free." He hissed.

'We'll see about that.' He spoke back confidently.

"I won't." Gaara repeated.

Shukaku didn't say anything but Gaara was smarter than to think he'd won yet. Slowly he withdrew his hands from his hair, dropping them uselessly at his sides. He turned his eyes towards the large moon and for the first time in his life prayed. Prayed that he could protect his village, prayed that he would never lose himself to Shukaku again, prayed that Noriko would come back to him.


	13. Chapter 13

_"Great, perfect, super, fan-fucking-tastic. I'm in the dark again." I muttered angrily, arms stretched out. _

_I walked aimlessly, trying to search for the door that led to the white room but I was getting nowhere. The darkness stretched on for an eternity it seemed and it's atmosphere was anything but comforting. I remembered the monsters that the younger version of myself had mentioned and finally understood what she meant. _

_'It's like a quicksand of negative emotions.'_

_"Oi! Mini-me! Where are you?" I called but in a place devoid of everything, my voice didn't carry far. _

_A sudden grab to my foot stopped me and I spun around, searching for the culprit. I saw nothing. The darkness of the room began to shift, I could feel it, and soon I was in what looked to be the desert of Suna with a blood red sky. I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn't sure what made me more nervous, the darkness or this. _

_"Is anybody here?" I asked, mentally slapping myself._

_'This is your dream. If anyone is here it's because you put them here.'_

_A harsh wind blew the sand upwards and it whipped at my face. I squinted, attempting to keep the sand from my eyes. It slowly settled and I shook the sand from my clothes and hair. I grew slightly irritated over the fact that my dreams felt so real. A hand suddenly gripped my shoulder tightly, painfully. I let out a strangled cry as I was forced to face them. My eyes widened in horror, stomach lurching._

_"Y-Yumiryo...?" I whispered, unbelieving._

_The face-thief grinned with bloody lips, showing equally blood stained teeth. I felt a shiver run up my spine. _

_"Hello, Noriko-san." It spoke, neck wound gaping at the action. _

_This time I couldn't control my body. I quickly found myself hunched over, vomiting up everything in my stomach. The acidity stung my nose harshly causing me to vomit again._

_"That's not anyway to greet a comrade, ya know." She spoke, tone venomous. _

_"I..." _

_"Oh wait, I forgot, ya know. You're an enemy." She hissed, words biting._

_"I am not!" I shouted, straightened myself._

_"You aren't a victim, ya know!" She growled, throat spilling with fresh blood._

_I took a step back, trying desperately to put space between us. She noticed, taking a step closer. I began to panic, heart pounding in my chest, blood rushing in my ears. _

_"I didn't kill you! Tamotsu did!" I pleaded, still moving away._

_"Oh, so that's your Otou-chan's name," She said, dull eyes flaring, "'Protector and defender'. What a fitting name, ya know!"_

_I said nothing, eyes stuck in her gaze._

_"You're a traitor, ya know! You let me die! And now you're with him like it's nothing, like you're family! I want to kill you, ya know!" _

_"I'm not _with_ him!" I said, back colliding with something solid._

_"Hey, Noriko-chan." _

_I froze. _

_'This is only a dream.' I tried to remind myself but flinched when hands gripped my shoulders._

_"What's going on here?" The person asked._

_"We're dead because of _her_, ya know." Yumiryo ground out, "You're still stupid Tamaki."_

_"Really?" He asked, "Noriko-chan killed us?"_

_"Her _Otou-chan_. He's the missing-nin, ya know." _

_"Interesting." Tamaki said, breath ghosting over my ear. _

_"L-Let go!" I shouted, trying to step out of his grasp but Yumiryo blocked me._

_"Tsk, tsk, Noriko-chan," He all but giggled from behind me, "We can't do that. You're a smart girl, use that pretty little head of yours."_

_"We're going to make you suffer, ya know!" Yumiryo grinned, blood dripping from her lips, "Torment you for what you've done, ya know."_

_"I didn't do anything!" I said, struggling harder, "It's not my fault!"_

_"Such a childish girl," Tamaki murmured, "You should learn to be responsible for your actions."_

_I squeezed my eyes shut as Yumiryo drew the katana on her back._

_'This is just a dream, this is just a dream, this is just a _dream_!' I chanted to myself._

_"You can't escape your guilt, ya know." Yumiryo hissed, blade pressing against my cheek. _

_Another harsh wind picked up, catching us its snare. I took the chance to shove Tamaki off me and ran, not looking back. The harsh sand attacked my face, leaving shallow, stinging cuts. Their quiet footfalls reached my ears, forcing my to push myself harder to escape. After running for what felt like an eternity I collapsed, gasping for breath. _

_'They're going to catch me! Get up!' I shouted to myself but my knees wobbled trying hold my weight._

_"Calm down, Noriko-chan. They're gone." _

_My head shot towards the voice. Teal eyes caught gold and my breath hitched. Without thinking I threw myself at the person, clutching at him for dear life._

_"Gaara!" I whispered hoarsely, throat dry._

_"You're bleeding." Gaara stated, pushing me away to check my cheek._

_"It's nothing." I mumbled, trying to hug him again._

_He stopped me, one hand lightly pressing against my chest. I frowned at the hand, turning confused eyes to his. He dropped his hand, face devoid of any emotion. I struggled to think of the right words to say to my dream Gaara. Perhaps sorry or arigato but I couldn't force my lips to move._

_"Is it true?" Gaara finally murmured._

_"Is what true?" I asked._

_"How could you, Noriko-chan? I... I trusted you." He said softly._

_"What are you talking about?" I asked, dread filling my heart._

_"How could you betray Suna? How could you betray me?" He asked, hurt lacing his tone. _

_"I haven't betrayed anyone! Least of all you!" I shouted, trying to reach for him again._

_This time his sand stopped me, wrapping around my wrist. I glanced down at it, trying to tug free but it's hold only tightened. I gasped as my other hand was secured as well, along with my feet. I turned scared eyes towards his, panic attack on the rise._

_"What are you doing?" I demanded in a shaky voice._

_"I don't understand, Noriko-chan." He murmured quietly, reaching out and tucking a stray hair behind my ear. _

_"There's nothing to understand Gaara!" I said, "I didn't betray you! I couldn't have! I love you!"_

_My declaration caught us both by surprise. His hand dropped again and I bit my lip, hanging my head. I felt the sand's slow creep upwards. _

_"Don't do this, Gaara." I whispered, tears leaking from my eyes._

_"I'm sorry, Noriko-chan." He whispered back, sand gently caressing my hips._

_"You don't have to." I tried again._

_Somewhere in my mind I knew this was a dream. That I wasn't going to die but the pain and hurt and_ agony_ I felt was too real._

_"I have to protect my village." Gaara said, sand hugging my shoulders._

_"I'm not going to harm anyone." _

_"I can't trust you." _

_That stung worse than anything I had ever felt. More than the suffering of being alone as a child. More than the torment of watching my comrades fall before me. More than the pain from hearing Tamotsu's story. This was on a new level. A raw, unrelenting level. I felt the sand's grainy touch reach the back of my head. It was completely opposite of the time I had trained with Gaara. Then it had been harsh and angry, wrapping me in it's deadly snare. Now it was slow, gently, caring. As if it wasn't going to harm me but instead protect me._

_'He is going to kill me.'_

_"Please don't!" I begged, turning red eyes to teal, "Please don't kill me!" _

_"I have to." Gaara said calmly, raising his hand, fingers splayed._

_"You don't!" I shouted desperately, struggling to break free, even though it was too late._

_"It's painless." Gaara said in a reassuring tone._

_I was anything but reassured. I tried to thrash, twisting my neck to the left and right. Large tears rolled down my cheeks, soaking the sand that reached my chin._

_"Please stop!" I pleaded, "Please don't do this to me! I would do anything for you! Trust me! I love you!"_

_"You don't love me," Gaara finally snapped, eyes looking dangerous, "Don't lie, Noriko-chan."_

_"GAAR-!" I screamed, sand filling my mouth. _

_His eyes dropped all emotion and I screwed mine shut as the sand touched my cheeks. The feeling of suffocating began to creep into my mind and I panicked. The sand pulled away from my body slightly before crashing inwards. A silent scream left my lips at the unbelievable pain of being crushed to death took over my entire being. The anguish in my heart beating its pain by a mile._

_'This is anything but painless.'_

* * *

My body jolted forward, panting heavily as I clutched at my chest and throat. It felt dry and used. I could feel sweat dripping down my temple and neck, collecting on my shirt. I flinched when I noticed a warm hand on my shoulder, fearing my dream was coming true.

"Noriko," Tamotsu murmured softly, "Calm down, Noriko."

I flung myself into his arms, hugging him tightly as I sobbed. He stiffened at first before slowly relaxing, rubbing a soothing hand on my back. The cave was loud with my harsh crying, sound echoing off its walls. I don't know how long we stayed like that but I finally pulled away, rubbing my sleeve under my nose. My cheek stung at the action and I reached a tentative hand to touch it. When I brought my fingers away, they were stained red.

"What...?" I asked, giving Tamotsu a confused look.

"You began scratching your face," He said simply, pushing himself to stand, "I'll get something to clean it."

I waited patiently as he hurriedly went to grab a medical kit. My fingers twisted in my lap as I remembered my dream. I was barely aware when he sat down next to me, popping the box open. He gently rubbed away the blood with a damp cloth. I doubted I would have noticed if he had been rough.

_"..."_

My mind was so messed up that I couldn't even pinpoint one thought to focus on. Everything hurt. Yumiryo and Tamaki and... Gaara... My stomach churned with guilt. I tried to reason that I wasn't a traitor. Something else screamed at me that I was. I went to drop my head but calloused fingers caught my chin. I turned my eyes towards Tamotsu and he gave a small smile.

"I can't work if you move." He chastised lightly.

I nodded once, turning my eyes back to the wall. He popped the top off a jar, spreading the cream on his fingers. Without warning he slathered the ointment over the scratches and I drew in a sharp breath.

_"That hurt!"_

"Sorry." He said in a tone that was anything but sorry.

I shot him an unamused glare to which he only shrugged, grin spreading across his face. He finished in silence, taping a square of gauze to my cheek. He patted it lightly with his hand, then twirled his finger in a spinning motion.

"Other side." He said.

I grunted in response, turning so he could reach the other cheek. He repeated the actions quickly, wiping his hands on the bloody rag when he was done. He gave me another smile, ruffling my hair and jumped away when I swatted at him. He only chuckled, grabbing the medical kit and putting it away.

"Are you thirsty?" He asked and I nodded slowly.

"Thought you might be. You were screaming pretty loudly." He said as he walked back to my side.

"I was?" I croaked, accepting the canteen from him and taking a drink.

The cool water instantly soothed my dry throat and I took another gulp.

"Hai," He said, putting on a thoughtful look, "Would you like to talk about it? I'll listen."

"No..." I said, shaking my head.

"Are you sure? That seemed like an awful nightmare. I would hate to be murdered by the person I loved." He mused, taking the canteen from my fingers.

"_What_?" I hissed, shoulders tensing.

"You were shouting in your sleep! I couldn't help but overhear!" He said defensively.

"What did you hear?" I ground out, dark blush covering my cheeks.

_"Oh, please say I didn't mention Gaara's name."_

"Not too much," He said, scratching his head in thought, "Just something about it not being your fault. That you loved someone and for them not to kill you... So who is it that you love anyway? Otou-chan would like to know! I want to approve!"

"No one." I growled.

His smile fell as he ran pale fingers through his hair. I continued to glare at him, silently hoping that he wouldn't question me farther. I wasn't ready to answer that question. I hadn't even been aware of the situation myself. He would be the last person I would ever tell.

_"Besides Gaara,"_ I thought humorlessly, _"There is no way I can ever tell him. Not now..."_

"I guess it's none of my business." He said with a sigh.

* * *

Gaara's nose twitched, causing him to sneeze.

"Someone's thinking about you."

Gaara turned confused eyes towards his companion. Shikamaru sighed, muttering what sounded like a 'troublesome' before giving Gaara a half smile.

"Something my Kaa-san likes to say. Sorry, Gaara-sama, it just came out." He apologized.

"It's fine, Nara-san," Gaara replied, "What did you mean by that?"

"Oh. Well it's not really true or at least _I_ don't think it is. But my Kaa-san says that when you sneeze and there isn't a cause, that it means someone is thinking about you. It's just her being troublesome." Shikamaru said, pulling one of the documents they were looking at towards him.

Gaara didn't say anything to that, going back to reading the scroll in his hand.

"I know it's troublesome for me to ask but how's Noriko?" Shikamaru asked suddenly, eyes darting to Gaara before shifting away again.

"Good, I suppose, Nara-san." Gaara said quietly, keeping his gaze downwards.

"Suppose?" Shikamaru asked in slight surprise.

_"I thought for sure they would be closer by now. Noriko seemed pretty adamant about being friends."_

"She's away on a mission at the moment."

"Really?"

"Hai," Gaara murmured, moving to grab the next scroll, "This says Hokage-sama would like us to keep an eye out for a group called Akatsuki? I've heard of them."

"Yeah. They're after Jinchuuriki, like yourself, Gaara-sama." Shikamaru said, eyebrow raised.

"I see." He nodded, continuing to read.

_"It's troublesome. I shouldn't ask why he changed the subject. But..."_

"What mission is Noriko on? If it's not too troublesome. I thought she was doing well as your bodyguard. She seemed to enjoy the position." Shikamaru said, brow's furrowing slightly.

"An assassination mission." Gaara replied calmly.

_"An assassination? That means..."_

"She's going after her father?"

Gaara didn't respond and Shikamaru knew he was right. He noticed the way Gaara's shoulders tensed and his lips set in a firm line. For some reason the first mission he carried out as a Chunnin came to mind, causing him to frown. He remembered how he had been unable to protect his friends from nearly dying and how the guilt still got to him at times.

_"Maybe Gaara feels guilty?"_

"Don't worry about her, Gaara-sama," Shikamaru found himself saying in an uncharacteristically reassuring way, "Shinobi have to trust in their comrades and their abilities. It's rude to doubt them."

* * *

"Now focus your chakra _here_ and _here_." Tamotsu said, touching my finger tips and palm.

I nodded, closing my eyes and concentrating. When I felt the familiar sensation of it leaking from the points I opened my eyes, staring at my hands. They glowed brightly with my unique, white chakra. I asked Tamotsu earlier if it was a trait of our Kekkei Genkai and he agreed that it was.

"You have good control." Tamotsu praised.

"Arigato." I muttered, slightly put out by the weird situation.

"Now I want you to show me how you use your Kekkei Genkai." He said, pulling a kunai across his palm.

A thin line of blood seeped from the wound and I reached forward, capturing his hand between mine. I concentrated on the wound and slowly his skin began to stitch itself back together and mine began to sting. When I finished I let go of his hand for him to inspect it.

"Not even a scar!" He said cheerily, giving me a grin.

"I've had a lot of practice. Since I was little I've been trained to use it." I said, pride slightly rising at the inadvertent compliment he had given me.

"Really? And they never told you about the other part?" He asked, slightly surprised.

"No," I frowned, "I don't think they know about it."

"They do. I know they do. I used the technique before. There is no way they don't know." He said firmly.

"Then why didn't they tell me?" I asked in confusion.

"They probably don't want you to know," He mused, tapping a finger to his chin, "The Council and the previous Kazekage must have been scared that you would turn the power against them if you ever found out the truth."

"_If_ what you're saying is true," I huffed, crossing my arms, "And even if it is, I won't turn my back on Suna or the Kazekage."

"What about the Council?" He asked seriously, "They're just as responsible for Hanako's death as the Yondaime Kazekage was."

"Are you trying to convince me to kill them?" I snapped, palm throbbing when I closed it too tightly.

"I never said that," He grinned wildly, "You just came up with that on your own."

_"...Bastard..."_

"Just shut up. I won't know what I'll do until I find out the truth but I can _assure_ you I don't plan on killing _anyone_. Unless you're lying. I'll kill you then." I growled.

"And if I'm not? What will happen to us? Will you finally let me be your Otou-chan?" He asked.

"There is no _us_," I spat before grumbling, "And don't get your hopes up."

"I can deal with that, for now." He smiled lightly.

"Can we just go back to training?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Right!"

* * *

"What are we going to do if she learns the truth, Ryuuno?"

"I don't think we have to worry Kameyo. We've been conditioning Noriko since birth." Ryuuno said, leaning his elbows on the table.

"But Tamotsu is clever," Kameyo argued, "He isn't happy with what happened to Hanako. I know he wants revenge."

"What man wouldn't?" Ryuuno said quietly, "But it is as I said. Noriko won't believe him. She will come directly to us before she tries anything drastic. That is assuming she even finds him. Her squad and herself have been out for 5 months with no sign of him. Perhaps he doesn't want to be found."

"What if he's waiting? What if he-"

"Don't say 'what if' Kameyo. I'm too old to worry over pointless things. If she does end up finding him or he seeks her out she will come to us. If he even tells her the truth."

"And what will we do if he does? We can't tell her the truth and risk her wrath. And if we lie and she notices, it will be just as bad." Kameyo said quietly.

"If it comes to that, we will deal with her how we deal with all traitors of Suna." Ryuuno said firmly.


	14. Chapter 14

Quiet pants broke the common silence of the room. A name was spoken carefully in breathy whispers that left flushed lips. A pale hand clutched loose, fingers lacking the hesitant they held the first time. An image of tanned skin, slick with sweat came to mind and Gaara groaned. Next came golden eyes, heavy with an emotion he didn't quite understand but had placed a name to, _need_. He gripped himself tighter, increasing the tempo of his movements.

Gaara imagined Noriko under him, allowing him to run his fingers over her soft looking skin. The pad of his thumb brushed over his tip causing a deep, strangled moan to rip from his throat. His own skin held a light sheen of sweat but the cool air made his body tingle. He reasoned with himself, that this was okay. Okay to allow himself to meet and fulfill his carnal desires without restriction, without shame.

* * *

"You're getting better and it's only been a week!" Tamotsu said excitedly as he stared at his bleeding palm.

I didn't really see his need to praise me. I still couldn't master the technique, just barely being able to put an 8th of my cut onto him. Even though I didn't see the need, I still swelled with pride each time. I reminded him quietly that I had a large ego and he only laughed, saying that it was definately from him.

"Would you like to take a break?" He asked, tossing me a roll of gauze.

"Are _you_ wanting to take a break?" I snapped back, wrapping my hand tightly.

"You caught me," He grinned, "I'm not as young as I used to be."

I snorted, knowing very well his age had nothing to do with it. It was embarrassing to admit but I _was_ the one needed the break. My chakra was exhausted and if I continued I would probably end up passing out again. I grabbed a kunai that lay on the table, cutting the gauze and tying it. As our routine had been going, he walked to the wicker basket for "dinner". The normal loaf of bread was pulled out, followed by an apple. I raised an eyebrow when he handed it to me.

"I went shopping while you were asleep." He shrugged, taking a bite of the fruit.

"I could have gone with you." I mumbled.

"It would be bad if we're seen out together. You're a "hostage" remember?" He asked rhetorically.

"Yeah..." I trailed off, suddenly not hungry anymore.

The nightmares hadn't stopped since the first night, if anything becoming worse and worse. At first they had only affected my sleep but lately I was hearing _their_ voices while I was awake and feeling the agonizing guilt deep in my gut. I could feel Tamotsu's concerned gaze on me, on the way my body stiffened. I frowned, turning my eyes to his.

"I... I don't think I can do this..." I muttered quietly, placing my food on the table.

"Don't give up," He pressed gently, "Stay until you at least master this. I would prefer to know you're safe."

"I'm not giving up!" I snapped angrily, "But you don't understand the _torment_ I'm going through!"

"I understand, Noriko," He said, eyes softening, "I understand completely."

"No you don't!" I growled, slamming a fist onto the table, "You _willing _killed your comrades! You chose to murder then with your own two hands! And I... I feel like I did too..."

"I killed your squad. You had nothing to do with it. I would have killed them regardless if you had been with them or not. I don't particularly like assassin's trying to find me. I have to deal with enough from Kumo, though lately they have been slacking." He said thoughtfully.

"They wouldn't have even been out here, if it weren't for me!" I argued desperately, "_I_ wouldn't even be out here if I hadn't fought with..."

"Are you trying to get me to blame you? Because I won't."

"But it _is_ my fault! Why won't you just tell me it is!" I shouted, lip trembling, "Why... Why won't you blame me...?"

"They didn't die because of you or some fight you had. They were shinobi, ANBU even. Everyone dies Noriko and shinobi know this better than anyone else. If you all hadn't been on this mission it could have happened months ago or even years from now." He said seriously.

"I betrayed them... I can never face-"

"Stop it Noriko! Stop acting like this! You haven't done anything wrong. I'll be the first to tell you when you do, so just _stop_ with the self pity right now!"

* * *

"You seem to be in a good mood the last few days." Temari said, giving her brother an intrigued look.

Gaara blushed, turning his eyes away from her.

"Any reason why?" She asked, lips turning into a smirk.

"No." Gaara mumbled, reaching for the scroll in her hand.

"Tsk tsk, dear brother," Temari chuckled, "Has Noriko finally sent you a letter?"

"No." Gaara grunted, feeling uncomfortable.

"Mmm. Keep your secrets then." Temari said, finally allowing him to take the scroll.

Gaara ignored her as he read the information. It was a basic update on the Academy and its students. Gaara remembered the children who had so eagerly said hello to him and it brought a smile to his face. He hadn't understood at the time, why Noriko had forced him to walk with her but now it was clear. She had been trying to show him his people and his village, show him that he wasn't a feared monster to everyone. Gaara frowned as a small, familiar pang went through his chest as he thought about her.

"Well their next report is in about a week. Maybe she'll write this one." Temari said, trying to cheer him back up.

"Perhaps." Gaara said quietly.

* * *

"I'm really pathetic aren't I?" I joked aloud in the empty cave.

Not long after Tamotsu had yelled at me, he left for a 'walk', leaving me to my thoughts. Since then I had been plagued with guilty feelings and harsh words from my inner demons. I tried to understand what he had told me but I still felt awful, _horrible_ for what happened. I couldn't understand how he expected me to _not_ feel guilty.

'Yes. You are,' Inner me snapped, 'Pathetic for not accepting what has happened and putting it in the past. You can't change what has already been done.'

"It's been a little over a week! Should I just be emotionless? Should I just accept that I had no role in their deaths? Do you think Suna is going to just _"put it in the past__"_? Accept what has happened and not blame me? I'm _alive_ and my squad is not!" I growled at myself.

'Tamotsu is right. You're wrong. Stop this self pitying problem you have. 'Oh poor me! Boo hoo! I hate my life and want to die too!', _pathetic_!'

"...I have serious mental issues." I mumbled, tugging my blanket tighter around my shoulders.

'You're just confused... And stubborn.'

I sighed, laying down on my sleeping mat, mentally and physically exhausted by everything.

"I don't want to die." I said quietly into the dimly lit room.

'Then don't act like it. Remember, you promised Gaara you would come back.' Inner me said.

"How can I face him?" I whispered, feeling even more pathetic as the pressure of tears built in my eyes.

'You haven't done anything wrong. He will see that.'

"And what if he doesn't?" I questioned, "What if he hates me?"

'... What if's are for weak people. Scared people.'

"I am scared." I murmured, screwing my eyes shut.

"Too often people are scared. Scared of what may or may not happen, scared of what others will think. Being scared only gets in the way of hope. You have nothing to lose Noriko and everything to gain." Tamotsu spoke up, startling me.

"I have _everything_ to lose!" I snapped, pulling myself up to sit.

"Like what? A village that may have lied to you your entire life? A job that forces you to take the lives of others? The man you "love"? Who you fear will kill you when return because _I_ killed your squad?" He questioned seriously.

"D-Don't say it like that! Don't act like you know everything! It pisses me off!" I shouted angrily.

"I was just stating the other side of things Noriko," Tamotsu said calmly, "And I already told you, I'll make sure they find out nothing. You can go back guilt free. Tell them I kept you a hostage. Find out the truth about everything when you get back. If I'm lying you can kill me and get your revenge for Hanako and your squad. If I'm not then you can decided what to do from there. But for now, just stop."

"I can't _lie_." I hissed.

"Then tell them the truth. Either way, nothing so far is your fault. Stop blaming yourself. If you want to blame anyone, than it should be me." Tamotsu shrugged.

_"... He's right... When did I stop blaming him...?"_

"I-For some reason I haven't felt like blaming you lately..." I trailed off.

"Is it because you finally believe your Otou-chan!" He asked excitedly, "Do you finally love me!"

I snorted in annoyance before looking away from his eager gaze.

"I... I guess I've just been... You're growing on me... Even if you're a murder..." I said finally.

_"It feels good to have a parent..."_

"That's good! Because you're growing on me too!" He cheered, going in for a hug.

I stopped him with a fist to the shoulder. He pouted, rubbing the abused spot.

"I don't feel like blaming you, even if I _should_," I mumbled, ignoring him, "I feel all this guilt inside of me and it's... It's driving me crazy. It's clawing away at me."

"Have you ever had a comrade die before?" Tamotsu asked.

I nodded once in confirmation.

"And did you feel like this then?"

I pondered the question for a long time, trying to think if I had ever felt this bad before. When I couldn't think of a time where the guilt hurt me so badly, I shook my head in negative.

"Then maybe it's not guilt." He said and I raised a brow.

"Not guilt?"

"You denied it to me last time but I know what I heard when you were talking in your sleep. Maybe you're just scared of rejection? Scared that he won't love you back or understand your situation?"

"That's stupid. I'm not scared of rejection. He can't reject me because I won't ever tell him," I said, heart aching, "He doesn't love me anyway."

"How do you know?" He asked.

"Because!" I snapped, "He can't!"

"You should give him a chance. Hanako took a chance with me and even though we never said it or had the chance to properly be together, I know she loved me too."

"If you're even telling the truth!" I shouted, hands shaking.

Tamotsu sighed, running a hand through his hair. At first I thought he was going to leave again but instead he sat down beside me. Carefully he placed a warm hand on my knee. I flinched at the action but he didn't move it away. I turned my eyes to his as he gave a gentle squeeze.

"Look," He started, "Just think about what I said. And remember, you're not guilty for your comrades death."

* * *

_"Everything is so messed up." I mumbled, bare feet walking over dry sand. _

_"You can say that again."_

_I jumped in surprise, looking down at the smaller version of myself. She looked tired and slightly flushed but otherwise unharmed. _

_"What are you doing here?" I asked._

_"I've been looking for you and it hasn't been easy." She huffed, throwing herself down on the ground._

_I watched as she patted the spot next to her, smiling when I sat as well. We laced fingers and I noticed her grip was tight, like it had been when she pulled me from the dark. _

_"Do you know why things have changed?" I asked curiously._

_"Not really. These are your dreams, remember? I found you because you wanted to see me." She replied easily._

_"Right." I grumbled. _

_We sat silently after that but for the first time in over a week my dream seemed peaceful and calm. It was as if what Tamotsu said was the cause. As if I had already made up my mind to believe in him and what he was saying, at least about Tamaki and Yumiryo. I looked up at the sky, noticing it was no longer a blood red but now a dark blue. The moon reminded me of the moon I saw in Suna, from Gaara's rooftop. _

_'Maybe I'm finally coming to terms with it?'_

_"I would say so." The young me said, smiling._

_"You don't think I'm guilty?" I asked._

_"No." She said, giving my fingers a light squeeze._

* * *

"Kazekage-sama! Kazekage-sama!"

Gaara looked up from his paperwork as the door to his office was thrown open, slamming loudly against the wall. The man who entered was panting heavily, scroll clutched tightly in one hand. Gaara waved him forward and the man straightened himself, opening the scroll in one fluid movement.

"This was just collected from one of Tamaki-san's falcons!" He said and Gaara nodded for him to proceed.

A strange feeling of dread filled Gaara at those words. Their report wasn't due for at least another 5 days and instantly he thought of Noriko. Falsely he hoped that maybe it was only her finally sending him a message but the look on the Jounin's face said otherwise.

"It read's only one word, Kazekage-sama." The man said, voice dropping low.

Gaara didn't speak at first, mind trying to think of every possible word it could be. Only one word seemed like it would fit and Gaara shook his head, praying he was wrong.

"Go on then." Gaara demanded urgently.

"'_Attacked_'."

Gaara felt his heart drop into his stomach.


	15. Chapter 15

Kankuro watched nervously as Gaara began muttering things to himself as he paced in his office. He had been like that the last few days. Since they had received that single word from Tamaki. He refused to leave his office as he waited for a report from the squad he'd sent out. Both elder siblings had tried to get him to relax some but every word and effort was met with a harsh glare or even harsher words.

"Gaara, sit down." Kankuro tried.

Gaara paused in his step, turning heated eyes to his brother and a small growl left his lips. Kankuro flinched, noticing the way the black around his eyes seemed darker, _deadlier_. His entire demeanor was deadly, almost exactly like it used to be. Gaara's lips pulled back in a slight sneer before he continued his pacing.

_"He's looking more and more like his old self."_

"Gaara, I'm not saying this to make you angry or anything but you're acting... Unstable, so calm down." Kankuro said, hoping his words would get through to him.

"Unstable?" Gaara hissed, turning towards his brother again.

"Hai." Kankuro said forcefully.

Suddenly Gaara's face went completely blank and his eyes closed. Kankuro worried that maybe Shukaku was trying to break free. Several tense minutes passed over them and Kankuro fidgeted in his spot on the couch. Slowly, _very_ slowly, Gaara opened his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Kankuro." He murmured quietly, voice shaky.

"It's fine Gaara. I'm just worried. I know you are too and if you want to talk well then go ahead, I'll listen." Kankuro said, giving him a half smile.

"I'm... I don't know what I'm feeling..." Gaara said, moving to sit on the couch as well.

"Well, what does it feel like... Physically I mean." Kankuro asked, moving over as Gaara sat.

"I... My stomach feels like I'm going to be sick... And my tongue feels... Heavy, broken? My heart is racing and light?" Gaara paused, turning his eyes to Kankuro, "My mind is so... Does this all make... Sense?"

Kankuro pondered over it, tried to make himself feel those things. He thought back to the time he, Noriko and Gaara had all watched the horror movie. He thought about how he used to feel when near or around the old Gaara. The way his stomach felt nervous, his heart raced and his tongue felt heavy, all of it was due to-

"Fear." Kankuro said quietly.

"Fear?" Gaara repeated, the word bitter on his tongue.

"You're scared."

* * *

"I did it! I did it!" I cheered, hopping around in excitement.

"You did!" Tamotsu cheered back, holding his bleeding palm.

"I can't believe it! Two weeks and I did it!" I said, trying to calm myself and failing.

"It's only going to get harder from here though."

"Ehh?" I asked, stopping mid-twirl.

Tamotsu chuckled as he began wrapping his hand. I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest as I waited for him to answer.

"Next comes work on bones," He said as he finished, "Then comes working on decreasing the amount of time you have to concentrate. You did do it but it also took you a long time to focus."

"Woah... Way to ruin the mood." I grumbled.

"I'm just being realistic," He grinned, patting my shoulder quickly, "But I am proud of you Noriko. I see you more and more as my daughter with each passing day."

Without even realizing it I was beaming back at him, pride swelling in my chest. I never noticed how much I longed to hear those words until he said them.

_"This must be what it feels like to have a parents love."_

"Anyway, I think we're done for the day, I don't think I want to try working on bones just yet. Besides, I have a special treat for you." He said, nodding to himself.

"Really? What is it?" I asked excitedly.

"I found a natural hot spring not far from here. I figured you'd enjoy a real bath, instead of the damp cloth you've been using la-"

My arms were around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug before he could even finish his sentence. I didn't even care if he was a liar or a murderer or _anything_. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders, giving a gentle squeeze. When I pulled away I was still smiling and didn't even bother to contain my happiness.

"Well then, shall I show you?" He asked.

"Of course!" I chirped, pushing on his back to lead the way.

"Calm down now!" He laughed, patting my head, "Grab your weapon pouch, a shinobi should never go anywhere unarmed. While you do that, I'll get you a towel."

I darted off, gathering up my kunai from the small table as I went and placed them in my pouch. When I finished, I turned back towards Tamotsu and he handed me a plain cream towel. It looked new.

"Arigato." I said, hugging it to my chest.

"You've got everything?" He asked, to which I nodded enthusiastically.

"Let's go then!" He cheered childishly.

Instead of annoying me like it usually did, I caught myself laughing at his childish ways.

_"I wonder how my life could have been..."_ I mused to myself.

I looked at him when I heard him let out a small 'oompf'. I shook my head as he jokingly tripped over nothing but I still followed after him, mouth set in a goofy grin.

* * *

"Kazekage-sama!" Someone shouted, knocking on the door.

"Enter." Gaara called, turning his eyes towards Kankuro for a fleeting second.

"Hai, Kazekage-sama." The woman said as she opened the door, bowing low.

"What is it?" Gaara asked, taking note of the scroll in her hand.

"First report fro-"

Gaara stood quickly and the woman let out a squeak of surprise when sand swirled around her hand. She all but dropped the scroll, clutching at her hand. She was slightly surprised to see that it held no injury and turned her eyes back to Gaara. Gaara payed her no mind as he brought the scroll close to him, ripping the string off.

"You can leave." Kankuro spoke up, motioning for her to hurry.

The woman looked slightly unsure but when she caught the deep frown on Gaara's face she bowed, shuffling out the room. Each passing second was tense. Each passing second and Gaara's lips pulled down farther. Kankuro couldn't take it anymore, he had to know what it said.

"Gaara?" He asked, body tensing for the worst.

"T-Two bodies..." And Gaara was suddenly in tears.

Kankuro jumped from the couch, placing a hand on his brothers shoulder. Gaara didn't even flinch away from the contact as he continued to cry. It was awkward to witness, he had never seen his brother cry before. He'd never seen his brother look so _ vulnerable _before.

_"Gaara..."_ Kankuro thought sadly, feeling sorry for his brother.

Gaara eventually brought a hand up to wipe the tears away. Kankuro fought with himself, trying not to cry as he feared the worst.

"I'm... Happy..." Gaara finally managed in a hoarse voice, catching his brother off guard.

"Happy?" Kankuro asked, dropping his arm as if touching Gaara burned him, "You're _happy_ that Noriko is dead?"

Kankuro took a step away from his brother, blood boiling and hands shaking in rage. The words felt like acid on his tongue. If someone didn't walk into this room and stop him he was going to strangle his _brother_. Fear of Shukaku be damned.

_"How dare he say something like that! How could he!"_

"No!" Gaara hissed angrily, "She wasn't one of the bodies! I... Noriko told me... She cried when she was happy before..."

"Oh..." Kankuro said, brows furrowing.

"Why?" Gaara asked quietly, "Why am I crying if I'm happy? I... I don't understand."

"... Relief...? You're relieved it's not her... I'm sorry I snapped at you Gaara, I thought..." Kankuro paused, collecting his thoughts, "Gaara?"

"What?" Gaara asked, composing himself.

"If... If she's not dead then... Then what?"

"She's alive," Gaara said, a hint of desperation in his tone, "And we will find her."

* * *

"It's beautiful!" I grinned at Tamotsu.

"I'm happy you like it," He grinned back, "Now while you bathe I'm going to go scout the area and check up on a few things. I'll be back."

I waved as he jumped away, stepping closer to the spring. I dipped my fingers into it and all but melted into a puddle of happiness. Quickly I began to strip down, not even bothering to fold my clothes. I pulled my hair from its normal ponytail, shaking it around my shoulders. Carefully I stepped into the water, searching for a footing. The water wasn't too deep, coming a little above my hips and the rocks around the edge made for a perfect seat, allowing the water to come up to my collar.

"This is amazing." I sighed happily, sinking deeper into the hot water.

The water was relaxing and calming, easing the all of the tension from my overused muscles. I dipped under, running my fingers through my long hair. When I came up, I brushed it over one shoulder, tossing my head back against some rocks to relax. In my blissful state I thought of the time Gaara and I had bathed together. My face flushed, a combination of the heat and embarrassment. Despite my blush I found myself smirking, reveling in the fact that I was probably the only girl to ever have the privileged of seeing him naked.

_"And if he doesn't have the most perfect body..."_ I thought, practically drooling at the memory.

'He does!' Inner me spoke up.

I just nodded in agreement, smiling stupidly to myself.

_"Who knew a bath would put me in such a fantastic mood?" _I thought humorously, _"Tamotsu may not be perfect but he definately earns good merit for this!"_

I cupped some water into my hands, bringing it up to splash my face. I glanced at my left palm, noting not even a faint line and felt my ego swell again. In the last few days, ever since my talk with Tamotsu, I felt myself letting go of the guilt I had. In turn I had slept longer, _better_ and my training results had improved quickly. It was exciting and exhilarating to see my hard work pay off so well.

_"I wonder if Gaara will be proud?" _I mused.

I began to blush again as I stared at my reflection. I closed my eyes, imagining him and his flushed skin from equally warm water. The way the moisture in the air had collected on his collarbone, all but _teasing_ me. I let out a shaky breath, trying to calm my raging hormones but it was useless. Especially when I remembered him telling me my body was _interesting_ in that perfect husky voice of his.

I briefly wondered if I should try something I hadn't done in a _long _while but shook my head at the perverted thought. I had no idea when Tamotsu would be back and the idea of him catching me doing something so _personal_ would be mortifying to say the very least. Minutes went by and I struggled with myself about what I should do.

"Damn." I mumbled, shifting in the water.

I glanced around, as if any moment Tamotsu, or even worse _Gaara_, was going to jump out.

"Calm down Noriko." I scolded myself, patting at my wet hair.

I leaned back against the rocks again, taking a few deep breaths. My eyes closed but I willed away all thoughts of Gaara, instead trying to focus on the warm water and relaxation. A loud cracking sound broke me from those thoughts and I sat up quickly, water splashing up. I waited quietly, eyes wide as I began searching the surrounding area. Another loud crash and I jumped from the hot spring, pulling my clothes on without drying.

"Noriko!" Tamotsu's voice rang out, "Are you dressed?"

"Hai!" I shouted back, wrapping the towel around my hair.

He stumbled from the brush, eyes wild and sweat dripping from his temple. I frowned slightly, annoyed that my bath was being cut shorter than I would have liked. My fingers had only started to prune. I was also annoyed by the fact that he had scared me but I wasn't going to admit it.

"You startl-"

"We need to leave, NOW!" He said urgently, cutting me off.

"What's happening?" I asked as he grabbed my arm, pulling me with him.

"I just got information that a group from Suna is looking for you. I don't know how they- Fuck! We just need to go!" He grunted.

I followed after him with wide eyes and mouth hanging open.

* * *

"What's going on!" I demanded when we finally reached Tamotsu's hideout.

"I'm not sure," He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "But somehow they know about what happened or- Kami! I was expecting to have more time!"

I watched silently as he paced the length of the room, my own mind reeling. I was in a state of shock, trying to think of how they had found out so quickly.

"Ugh! This is just the worst!" He hissed at himself.

"It was bound to happen." I murmured quietly, hands shaking with nerves by my sides.

"I know! I know... I just thought, everything was perfect as I planned it! I wasn't expecting them to find out for another week." He said, throwing himself in a chair.

"Nothing ever goes according to plan when I'm involved." I tried to joke lightly, though I didn't find the situation amusing.

He gave me a half amused smirk but it fell just as quickly and he sighed again. I frowned, taking the seat across from him. He laid his head on the table between us, mumbling things to himself. I waited patiently, praying that maybe he had some sort of back up plan. Selfishly I wasn't ready to leave yet, wasn't ready to go.

"Maybe... Another hideout?" I asked quietly, dropping my eyes to my lap.

"No," He said, sound muffled by his arm, "It's too dangerous to move. They're too close."

"Oh..." I mumbled.

More silence. More confusion. More _guilt_. It was coming back full force, bashing its way into my stomach painfully. I clutched at the fabric covering me, trying to will it away. I knew if I let it back in, it would destroy me. Suddenly Tamotsu stood, chair screeching loudly against the floor. I looked up at him as he began to pace again, pausing to look at me occasionally.

"What?" I finally snapped, turning my eyes from his.

"Look at me Noriko." He said, taking a step towards me.

I obeyed. Gold sought out gold. My eyes, _identical_ _to his_, widened in surprise. His own held many emotions but the ones I could easily identify were pain and _sadness_.

"I have a plan." He spoke, voice heavy.

"Okay." I said, nodding at him to continue.

"I need you to trust me though." He said determinedly.

I blinked, biting my lip hard enough to draw blood.

"I..." I started nervously, "I... Can trust you..."

When he didn't smile or cry out in joy like I expected I winced internally. If anything the look in his eyes grew worse, more pained. He grabbed my hand suddenly, pulling me into tight hug. I froze when I heard him take a shaky breath, froze when I felt a dampness on my cheek.

"I wish I could have met you under better circumstances," He spoke bitterly, "I wish I could have saved your mother, even if it meant my death. I wish we could have showered you with a parents love. I wish everything had been better for you..."

He paused, letting out a humorless laugh and I felt my own eyes sting with the start of tears. I tried to hug him back but his arms kept mine pinned down, as if on purpose.

"I wish I could have taken you for Fugu and celebrated your birthdays with you. I wish I could have properly approved of your first boyfriend and grounded you if you ever snuck out. Oh Kami," He said in a hush, "I wish for so many things Noriko, my darling daughter. Above all I want to say that I'm sorry, _so _sorry for everything that you've had to go through because of me. And that I love you more than life itself."

"I... Arigato..." I murmured quietly, arms still by my sides.

He gave a forced chuckle, pulling me away from him. I gave him a weak smile that he returned.

"So... A plan?" I asked and his smile dropped.

"It's the only thing I can think of," He started, turning away from me, "There is no other way. A million different scenarios and this one will work. I know it. It _has_ to."

"Is it that bad?" I asked quietly.

"Hai." He responded.

"... Just tell me." I said.

"I don't want to do it. Remember that." He said seriously.

I nodded, urging him to continue.

"I... Kami! I don't know if I can even _do _it!" He hissed, punching the table.

The wood creaked and whined under the force, causing me to flinch.

"I'm sorry," He said quickly, "It's just..."

"Bad?" I said, giving him the word.

"Awful." He grunted.

"Go on."

"You're my "hostage" right?" He paused, to which I nodded, "And what do hostages usually look like when they're found? _If _they're lucky enough to be found alive."

"Broken, beaten, abused, tortured..." I trailed off, finally understanding.

"Hai. That's why I don't think I ca-"

"Do it." I said, cutting him off.

"What?"

"Do it." I demanded.

_"I understand... If I'm to go back, if I'm ever to be accepted, if I'm ever to find out the truth... This needs to be done."_

"I have to look the part," I said fearlessly, "I have to be broken, beaten, abused and tortured for me to ever be accepted back. I _have_ to find out the truth, I must! My entire life might have been a lie! So I don't care! Break my bones! Leave bruises! Anything! I just need to know!"

"... If you're sure..." He said seriously.

"I am!" I shouted, holding out an arm.

He gripped my wrist loosely in one hand, getting what I meant. His eyes turned to mine, as if begging me to change my mind but I only gave a curt nod. His fingers tightened painfully, I could practically feel the bone cracking already.

"This will hurt." He said softly.

"I know." I whispered back, biting my lip.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"I know."


	16. Chapter 16

"We're almost there." Tamotsu whispered to me.

I tried to open my eyes but my swollen face prevented me from doing so. I could feel the desert heat beating on my skin, the sweat causing my shirt to stick to my sore back. I moved slightly, trying to touch my dry, cracked lips. The weight of my arm was too heavy and it fell uselessly towards the ground. I let out a loud groan at the action, body tingling with painful goosebumps.

"Shhh. Three more miles Noriko. We will be there shortly." Tamotsu hushed, pulling my arm back towards him.

I forced myself to nod, struggling to curl myself to his chest, to hide from the immense pain. He responded by giving me a gentle squeeze. Every stride he took, every jump he made rustled some injury in the most painful of ways. I fought with myself, forcing down the nausea I felt. A sudden wind picked up, sand stinging my cheeks and arms.

"I'm sorry." Tamotsu said quietly, crouching to cover us.

_"It's not your fault."_ I yearned to say but my mouth barely parted.

When the winds finally calmed we continued our way through the desert. I smiled internally as I listened to him breath, the way his heart pounded _our_ blood through his veins. Slowly his pace began to decrease and I knew our time was up. Through the pain, I wondered if we were ever going to meet again.

"Noriko..." Tamotsu whispered, moving to lay me in the sand.

I tried to grip his shirt firmly but my broken fingers refused to close. The sand shaped around my body, almost comforting me. I raised my good arm towards Tamotsu, panic gripping me. I let out a strangled cry, cracking open one of my eyes. The hot, desert sun was blindingly harsh, preventing me from seeing anything but a shadowy figure.

_"I'm going to be alone!"_

"Shhh. It's _okay_. They will find you soon. You're only two miles from the village." Tamotsu said, carefully lowering my arm to the ground.

_"NOOO! Don't leave me!"_

"Everything will be okay, Noriko. Stay put and don't strain the wounds. I must go." Tamotsu murmured, fingers brushing over my hair.

_"STOP!"_

"I love you... Goodbye Noriko." Tamotsu sighed, turning away from me.

_"NO!"_

I shoved harshly against the sand, letting out a cry as I placed weight on my broken wrist. I brought shaky knees forward, demanding that they hold my weight. When I finally opened my eye again Tamotsu was gone, not even the sand seemed disturbed by his retreat. My chest expanded with heavy pants. I stared in the direction Tamotsu had left, a strong desire to follow him gripping me. I carefully placed one foot forward to chase him but stopped. An even stronger desire was telling me to return to Suna. I hung my head, turning slowly in the direction of Suna.

_"Goodbye, Tamotsu... I will see you again."_

* * *

"Boring day, huh, Giichi?" A man asked, appearing next to him.

"Would say so, Hitoshi." Giichi replied.

Hitoshi frowned, leaning against the rocky wall. Giichi returned the frown, moving his eyes back over the desert. He wasn't expecting to see anything or _anyone_. That didn't matter though, he'd been given the duty to watch the gates for one specific person and if he so happened to miss her... Giichi didn't want to think about what punishment he would get.

"How long has she been missing for?" Hitoshi asked offhandedly.

"5 days. That meaning Tamaki's letter arrived the same day they were attacked." Giichi recited in a bored tone.

"Ahh." Hitoshi mused, now turning his eyes to the desert to help.

Giichi shifted uncomfortably in the hot sun. Sweat collected on his brow and he reached up, wiping it away with his sleeve. He unlatched the canteen on his hip and unscrewed the cap. He placed the opening to dry lips, letting out a desperate groan when he realized it was empty.

"Did you happen to bring any water?" Giichi asked without looking at Hitoshi.

When the man didn't respond he frowned, turning annoyed eyes towards him.

"I said-"

"Do you see that?" Hitoshi asked, cutting him off.

Giichi followed his gaze with narrow eyes, squinting through the bright sunlight. To his surprise he _did _see something off in the distance. Whatever, or _whoever_, it was had to be at least 200 yards off.

"We should check it out." Hitoshi said, running off without a second notice.

Giichi grunted, hurrying after him. When they were only 10 yards away the men came to a quick halt. Both of them quickly took in the distinctive white hair, though it was matted heavily with blood. The girls body was twisted awkwardly as she limped, evidence of broken limbs.

"Go, NOW!" Giichi demanded without farther explaining.

Hitoshi nodded before disappearing on the spot. Giichi slowly walked forward. When he was only a few feet away he paused, frowning when he realized she had yet to notice him.

"Noriko-san?" He asked, almost praying it wasn't her.

_"The Kazekage is going to lose it!"_

The girl's head jerked up slightly, one golden eye catching his. If he wasn't sure her lips couldn't, he would have sworn she smiled at him before allowing her body to drop into the sand. Giichi lurched forward, quickly flipping her over on her back. She let out a harsh cry and Giichi drew his hands away from her, dyed red with blood.

"_Damn_." He hissed at himself, leaning back over her.

He slowly lifted her shirt, grimacing at the way it clung to her like a second skin. He fought down the sick feeling as he looked at her bruised stomach. His eyes finally found the wound he was looking for and he pressed one hand against it tightly, to stop the bleeding. Noriko thrashed beneath him, crying out at the fresh waves of pain.

"Calm down!" Giichi shouted above her screams, "I'm trying to help you! Calm down!"

Noriko only grew louder as her thrashing jostled forgotten pains. Giichi bit his lip, trying to keep his hand firmly placed over her side. Wind caused the sand to twirl up around them, sticking to blood and sweat. In desperation Giichi looked up, searching for the others. Through the sand he made out a few figures heading in his direction.

"HERE!" He shouted loudly, Noriko's cries an echo on the wind.

Instantly the sand calmed around him and Noriko, in a most unnatural way. He decided to ignore it, focusing back on Noriko. He applied more pressure to the wound as a pair of tan hands dropped into his line of vision, glowing green.

"She's bleeding from here." He said, moving his hands quickly.

"Good job, Giichi-san." The medic-nin smiled, placing her hands where his had been.

"No problem, Miaka-san."

Giichi stood, noticing a heavy aura beginning to stifle him. He turned his head slightly, finding the reason for the unnatural way the sand had stopped. Suna's Kazekage, Sabaku no Gaara stood directly to his right, in all his frightening glory and he was surely frightening. Wave after _deadly_ wave of chakra was rippling it's way off the young Kazekage, reminding Giichi of the boy-Gaara.

"Kazekage-sama, we must move Noriko-san to the hospital immediately." Miaka said quietly, brow furrowed in concentration.

Gaara gave a tight nod and suddenly sand whipped around Noriko, Miaka and himself. Giichi and Hitoshi blinked stupidly at the empty spot before Hitoshi let out a humorless laugh. Giichi grunted, grimacing at his bloody hands.

"Here," Hitoshi said, tossing Giichi a canteen, "Wash off your hands and take a drink. Then we'll head back. We need to give a full detailed report."

"Right." Giichi mumbled.

* * *

_"I hear screaming." I said, wincing at the loud wails. _

_"It's you." The younger version of myself said softly._

_"Really?" I asked in surprise, taking a seat on the cool sand._

_"Hai." She nodded, taking a seat by me._

_"Why am I hearing myself if I'm asleep?" I asked in confusion._

_"You aren't asleep... Maybe it's your minds way of dealing with the pain." She mused thoughtfully, sadly._

_"I don't feel anything right now." I mumbled, fingers dipping into the sand._

_I grabbed a handful, letting it slowly fall through my fingers. I repeated the action a few more times, loving the rough feel on my hand. It reminded me of an ornate hourglass that I had once seen. As If I was sitting inside my own personal hourglass, able to control the time I had left. I let the sand slip through once more, barely covering a yawn in the process._

_"I actually feel really warm." I murmured, feeling tired._

_"Don't go to sleep!" Younger me snapped._

_I ignored her, laying down on my side as the warmth spread through my chest and into my limbs. I happily stretched out, finding a comfy position to rest. Younger me jumped to her feet, all but kicking sand at me. I blinked up at her with half-mast lids. She was seething, hands balled into fists. _

_"You going to sleep means you're dead!" She shouted, reaching down to slap me._

_The place where her hand collided tingled as if it were nothing more than a gentle pat. I tried to grab her hand but my arm wouldn't move. She dropped to her knees by my head. Fat tears fell onto my face as she leaned over me, pulling my head to her chest. I went to comfort her but my mouth refused to form words. _

_'I didn't think Tamotsu was trying to kill me.'_

_"He didn't!" Younger me cried, hugging my head tighter, "You made it worse by walking!" _

_'Oh.' I sighed, eyes closing._

_"Don't die!" _

_'I'm so calm.'_

_"Don't!" _

_'Everything is so-'_

"She's goi-!"

_'What? Who was that?' I wondered in confusion, trying to force my eyes open. _

"Noriko! Stay s-"

_'What's going on?' I grimaced, eyes focusing on the__ white hair surrounding my face, ears full of pained sobs._

"-ave her! Plea-"

_I shut my eyes again, willing the voice out of my head. _

_'It sounds so familiar though.' I mused to myself, vaguely aware that the warmth in me was receding. _

"-alm down! Or I _will_ remo-"

_I took a deep breath, pain instantly shooting through my chest. I let out a surprised scream, jerking into a seated position. The younger me drew back, quickly wiping away her tears. A sudden pressure hit my chest, forcing a strangled cough from my lips. My eyes widened when I saw the blood stain my hands. I turned my eyes to myself but she only smiled, capturing my dirty hand in hers. Another pain shook through me and I screamed, fingers squeezing hers._

"Wake up, Noriko!" _She mouthed but the voice wasn't hers._

* * *

I coughed harshly, copper taste bitter on my tongue. My throat hurt beyond words, feeling dry and used. I tried to crack open my good eye but the light was overpowering. A low groan of pain escaped past bruised and cracked lips. I went to lick them but my tongue was like a beached boat.

"She'll live, the worst is over." A disembodied voice sighed in relief.

I let the words register but water became my foremost concern. With all of my determination I forced my eye back open, letting it adjust to the brightness. In my blinded state I reached out with my good hand, grabbing the closest person to me. I let my fingers curl into their clothes, giving a half tug. The person stiffened under my touch, turning the most shockingly aqua eyes to mine.

_"I know these eyes."_

"G-Gaa..." I struggled to say, thoughts of water dying in that instant.

"... Noriko..." Gaara said in a hush, moving away from my hold.

I tried to keep him next to me but my weak fingers couldn't hold on. They uncurled slowly as I let my arm drop down. Fear exploded in my chest, as my mind went into hysterics. In a panic, I reached towards him but my arm was grabbed by someone else. I turned my eye towards the tanned woman, her eyes full of comfort and calm.

"It's okay Noriko-san. I'm Miaka, your medic. You need fluids and rest right now. Kazekage-sama can come visit you when you recover properly." She smiled, sympathetically.

"G-Gaa..." I called out feebly, ignoring her as I tried to move my head to see him.

"It's okay Noriko-san." She said softly placing my arm by my side.

_"He's so close! I can't let him away again!"_ I wanted to scream until I was blue in the face.

"You can come back later, Kazekage-sama," Miaka said, before adding a quick, "Clean off first."

"N..." I grunted, teeth clenching in pain.

"It's okay." Miaka repeated, wiping something wet and cold over my arm.

A small pinch of the skin informed me that I had been given a shot. Almost immediately my vision began to sway and my head rolled to the side. As if to torment me, my eyes landed on Gaara. A half frown formed on numb lips at look in his eyes. They held so much pain and anger.

_"No."_ I tried to whisper as my world went black.

* * *

Kankuro grimaced as he left Noriko's hospital room. She had still been asleep and Kankuro was thankfully happy about it. The rumors had done no justice to the way she actually looked. The right left side of her face was swollen beyond recognition and every inch of her body was covered in bandages. If it hadn't been for her unique white hair he would have dismissed even the _idea_ of it being her. With that in mind he knew he had to go see Gaara. Kankuro knew that whatever he felt must be tenfold for his brother.

* * *

"Temari said you would probably be here." Kankuro mused quietly, stepping into his brothers "garden".

Gaara didn't even turn to acknowledge him, making Kankuro frown. He wasn't sure if the silence was a good thing or bad thing.

"Pretty plants." Kankuro tried instead, eyes not leaving Gaara's back.

Again Gaara didn't make to acknowledge him.

"Look, don't ignore me. I'm your brother and I'm worried about you. Talk to me, Gaara." Kankuro all but demanded.

Finally, like Kankuro had hoped, Gaara turned towards him. Unlike how he hoped, Gaara looked murderous. His aqua eyes shown brightly, the whites around them bloodshot. His lips were curled back in a dangerous sneer that had the hairs on Kankuro's arms stand on end.

"I'm going to _murder _them," Gaara hissed lowly, _excitedly_, "_Whoever _did _this_. I _will _get them."

"You can't go off and murder people Gaara," Kankuro reasoned carefully, "You're the Kazekage now. Leave things like that to the ANBU."

Gaara let out a bitter laugh, "She was _with _ANBU."

"They were ambushed, had to have been. You saw Tamaki's letter. He only had time to write that, not long before he died, I'm sure." Kankuro said, standing his ground.

"I don't care." Gaara growled, arms crossing over his chest.

"Just be calm about this Gaara. We'll have to wait for Noriko to recover before anything can even happen." Kankuro said lightly.

At the mention of her name Gaara's shoulders tensed but the deadly aura dropped and Kankuro understood. Understood the reason Gaara was so upset, the reason why his eyes, though murderous, also held self-loathing.

_"Guilt."_

"She's going to live." Kankuro reassured needlessly.

It was a long while before Gaara spoke but Kankuro was relieved to note the malicious tone was gone.

"Hai." He murmured quietly.

"And you can finally talk to her." Kankuro said, giving a small, encouraging smile.

"... Hai." Gaara replied.

* * *

"-three broken ribs, fractured cheek bone, snapped wrist, 6 broken fingers, fractured femur bone-"

"That's a lot of damage." Kameyo cut in, bowing her wrinkled head forward.

"Hai." Ryuuno agreed, placing the report on the table.

"Do you think it was Tamotsu?" Kameyo mused.

"We wont know until she wakes up." Ryuuno gave as a reply.

Both frowned at the statement, both silently wondering if Tamotsu could have really inflicted such torture on his own daughter. The idea was ludicrous. From everything they had understood, Tamotsu would never lay a hand on her. But maybe they were wrong. If only they could speak to Noriko, everything would be clear.

"Getting her away from the Kazekage will be difficult from now on." Kameyo spoke up.

"We will think of something." Ryuuno said, closing the conversation.


	17. Chapter 17

I sat up quickly, body screaming in protest at the sudden movement. I glanced around the room with a wide eye, mouth forming a small 'o' of surprise. The familiar tan walls of Suna's Hospital surrounded me on all sides, Suna sun leaking through the windows. I pinched myself, just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

"Ouch!" I hissed, dropping my eyes to the bandages.

With shock I noticed that almost every visible part of me was covered with them. My left wrist was also secured with a measure of wood, preventing it from moving. Slowly I began the tedious task of poking and prodding myself, trying to figure out where I hurt the most. The creaking of the door opening caused me to pause, turning my eye to the person.

"I see you're awake." The tanned woman smiled.

I went to speak but my mouth felt dry, causing me to croak. I blushed in embarrassment, pointing to my neck hopefully.

"Water." She smiled, pouring me a cup from the pitcher by my bed.

I wondered how I hadn't noticed it before but happily accepted the drink. The first sip had me thirstier than before and I quickly downed the cup, silently asking for more. She obliged, fulling it again.

"A-Arigato." I said thickly, holding the cup on my lap.

"No problem, Noriko-san," She said, taking the cup from my hand, "I'm Miaka, in case you don't remember."

"No... Sorry..." I trailed off as she began inspecting my bandages.

"Don't worry about it. You've been through a lot... I'm sorry that this happened to you." She said with sympathy.

The dangerous claws of guilt snagged in my stomach and I shook my head to deny her.

"Don't feel sorry." I whispered, turning my head in shame.

She gave my hand a small pat, moving to check my injured legs. Green chakra began glowing around the hand that trailed over them, giving me a weird sensation. My right leg jumped and I let out a strangled cry, fire burning through the limb.

"Careful, it's not even close to healed." Miaka chastised lightly.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Fractured femur bone, some bruising to the muscle and skin. Now relax, please." She said, helping me lower my leg.

"Right." I winced, biting into my lip.

She smiled at me with kind, sad eyes. It made me sick. I was never one for pity but coupled with the fact that I didn't even _deserve_ it, it just made me _sick_. Sick with the look. Sick with the pity. Sick with myself.

_"I'm disgusting."_ I thought angrily.

"Are you alright? This doesn't hurt does it?" Miaka asked suddenly.

"... A little." I said quietly.

"I don't think there is too much more I can do," Miaka said sadly, "We'll just have to wait for it to heal itself."

The sudden, irrational fear of never walking again gripped me. Of never being a _shinobi_ again.

"Will I... Will I be able to continue my duty?" I asked hesitantly, chewing on my lip.

"That's up to Kazekage-sama," She said cheerfully, "But you should be fine in a few months!"

"That's a relief..." I trailed off thoughtfully.

"Speaking of Kazekage-sama, I need to inform him that you are now awake." She said, gathering her clipboard to leave.

"Kazekage-sama?" I asked.

"Hai." She nodded.

"Don't bother." I mumbled, flashes of Gaara's angry eyes coming to mind.

"Mm, why?" She asked curiously.

I snorted with disbelief.

"I'm no one important. Kazekage-sama doesn't need to be bothered over if I'm awake or not."

"I wouldn't say that," She mused, "You seem to be very important to Kazekage-sama."

"Don't make assumptions." I laughed bitterly, surprising even myself.

Miaka recovered quickly, giving a small huff of annoyance. Her dark brown eyes caught mine and I was startled to see an emotion akin to anger but not quite.

"Lots of people have been very worried about you Noriko-san!" She started, "The shinobi of this village have been in an uproar trying to find you and your squad! And out of everyone, Kazekage-sama has been the most distraught! You shouldn't be doubting him! He personally asked to know when you woke up!"

"Oh..." I breathed lamely, mind still trying to make sense of what she said.

Without saying anything more, Miaka turned and left, leaving me alone to my thoughts. In the jumbled mess of my mind the words "Kazekage" and "distraught" bashed their way to the forefront.

"He worried that much?" I asked rhetorically.

From somewhere deep within a voice shouted 'YES!' but a stronger one screamed 'NO!'. I sighed at myself, leaning back into the bed and closed my eye. Images of Gaara's angry eyes assaulted me, forcing me to remember when I had seen them.

"A day? Maybe two, was it?" I mumbled but I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep for.

Then came the most painful memory of all, the memory of Gaara pulling away from my desperate grasp. How he had tensed under my touch, as if I was going to hurt him. My heart ached painfully in my chest, injuries from Tamotsu a dull throb.

"If he cared... Why did he pull away...?" I murmured.

* * *

For what seemed like hours, I pondered over the painful question, trying to give it rhyme or reason. I didn't even bother to look at whoever had opened my door, dismissing it as a medic-nin that I had no intention of talking to.

_"Each answer is just as agonizing..."_

"Noriko-chan." The person of my thoughts said gently, startling me.

I jerked upwards, letting out a cry from the pain. In an instant Gaara was by my side, hand pressed to my lower back to steady me. As soon as I was comfortable I waved him off, the heat from his hand still burning my skin. I sighed, fully unprepared for the situation. The weight of everything I had been hoping, praying, wondering for the last five and a half months pressing down on me. Gaara took a step back, to let me breathe I assumed.

"Noriko-chan..." Gaara trailed off, voice heavy.

"I'm fine!" I laughed, ignoring the way his tone sent shivers down my spine, "Perfect, really! You scared me is all!"

Gaara gave me an unamused look but I forced a pained grin anyway.

_"Maybe we can act like nothing happened..."_ I thought hopefully, _doubtfully_.

"So what brings you here?" I smiled, turning my eye to his.

Gaara didn't say anything as his eyes held mine. I fidgeted slightly, fingers curling into my blanket. I broke the gaze, staring dejectedly at my lap. My heart pounding so harshly that I was sure he could hear it. I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn't form. Fingers gently caressed my hair, causing me to look up. Tears were silently streaming down Gaara's face and slowly he pulled my head towards his chest, arms wrapping around my shoulders in a hug.

"G-Gaara?" I asked, voice muffled.

I felt a small sob wrack through his body causing me to shudder in response. I wanted, more than anything, to hug him back but the awkward position prevented me from doing so. It made me think of Tamotsu's last hug, the way he had kept me from hugging him back. As if me touching them would hurt them, _kill_ them.

"I... I'm happy." Gaara murmured softly against my hair.

I waited patiently for him to finish, epitome of guilt. When he finally pulled away the tears were gone, to my relief, and he smiled. A genuine, real smile. One that reached his eyes, causing them to shine with a warmth I hadn't seen before. I gave him one back, half forced.

"Miss me much?" I joked, hoping he didn't notice my tension.

"Hai." He breathed, to which my heart fluttered.

"I... Missed you too Gaara..." I said, his name sounding foreign on my tongue.

There was a long pause as both of us struggled to continue the conversation. There was so much I wanted to say, that I wanted to confess to him. To tell him what had really happened to Tamaki and Yumiryo. To tell him the crazy story that Tamotsu told me and that I was starting to believe. That I had been training to become stronger, to become a more capable shinobi. The burning desire to tell him that I had been with Tamotsu and only injured to come back to Suna, for the truth and... Him. I noticed Gaara opening his mouth with a look of determination that frightened me.

"So how goes the cacti?" I blurted out, cheeks staining red in embarrassment.

Gaara's lips pursed slightly, brow furrowing in confusion. The random question had caught him and I both by surprise. I chuckled nervously, chewing my bottom lip. The wrinkle between his eyes smoothed over but a look of frustration replaced it.

_"I have never seen this much emotion from him before."_

"Fine." He finally said.

"That's good," I hummed, "Not still sneaking out are we?"

"I do not _sneak_." Gaara stated matter-o-factly.

"So you tell your new bodyguard when you go out and not me?" I asked, feigning offence, "What do they have that I don't?"

"Nothing." Gaara answered honestly, catching me off guard.

_"He's making this facade of normalcy hard."_

"Of course not," I said, forcing a small laugh, "I'm me."

"Hai." Gaara agreed, small smile tugging at his lips.

I suddenly caught myself enraptured by his face, studying ever detail. The smooth curve of his cheek bones that led to a perfectly pointed chin. The delicate arch of his upturned lips and their light pink color. His flawless skin that looked to be etched from the finest of stones, yet still soft to the touch. The way his pure aqua eyes were encased with heavy black, drawing me in deeper. I shook my head to clear it.

"You're making this difficult." I sighed, turning my eye away from him.

_"Or maybe it's just me."_ I added to myself.

"What do you mean Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked, slight edge to his tone.

"This," I waved between us without looking, "Us trying to pretend nothing happened."

"Something _did_ happen," Gaara said seriously, "You were attacked, kidnapped and tortured. I'm not pretending nothing happened."

"I wasn't talking about _that_." I grumbled, lips tingling at the memory of our 'kiss'.

If it could even be called a kiss. It hadn't been hot and steamy, nor passionate and slow. It had simply been Gaara pressing his dry, perfect lips to mine while I remained frozen. I vaguely wondered where we would be if I hadn't done nothing but quickly shot the idea down. I knew a relationship based on _pity_ would never have worked. I would have been left the lost, kicked, heartbroken puppy by the end. The very least a fool.

"Then what are you talking about, Noriko-chan? I don't understand."

"I'm talking about what happened _before_ I left." I hissed, anger coming back as I turned to him.

His eyes widened, only fractionally, in surprise at my outburst. I didn't care. All of the tension and hurt and confusion I had bottled up was now boiling under my skin, begging to be free. So I let it.

"I mean really Gaara! I just don't get you sometimes! I tried really, _really_ hard but I just don't! Then out of nowhere you just... That's not even the problem! I can't believe you! You were the one who... And you just sent me away! You didn't even say _goodbye_! How did you even _know_?" I growled, thinking of Tamotsu but pressed on, "Was the sight of me _that_ awful? I mean, you only did that because you thought I wanted it! And it's not as if I _do_ want that but even so, why would I want it out of pity? I don't need pity from anyone! You can't fuck with people's emotions just because you don't understand your own!"

When I finally finished my breath was coming out in labored pants, body aching at the exertion. At some point during my rant I must have raised my arms, so I dropped them carefully in my lap. Almost desperately I hoped Gaara would yell, shout, even _scream_ at me. Tell me I was an awful human being, that he hated me and that he never wanted to see me again because now guilt was squirming its way inside. Guilt that I had yelled at him, guilt that I was laying here like a _victim_ when I was anything but. I was surprised and disappointed when Gaara spoke, tone calm and even.

"I want to tell you something." He murmured, eyelids dropping low.

I gave a hesitant nod, heart bruising my ribs in anticipation. He took a half step forward then stopped, invisible brows scrunching together as if concentrating hard. He opened is mouth once, closed it, then opened it again. Slowly he brought his hand upwards, warm fingers brushing over the black and blue skin of my cheek. I fought myself from leaning into the touch but I couldn't pull away either. I held my breath as he leaned slightly closer.

"I-"

"NORIKO!"

Gaara dropped his arm away from me, eyes turning to the door. I straightened up, glad he hadn't noticed the way I followed his fingers, his touch.

"Shut up baka! This is a hospital, not a bar!" A second voice barked as the door opened.

Kankuro shot past Gaara with surprising speed, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I struggled in his grasp, hitting his head with my wooden brace to be let free. We both grunted in pain but when he pulled away Kankuro was smiling widely. My eyes slipped to Gaara but his face betrayed nothing. Not even an ounce of the emotion he displayed only a minute ago. I frowned, looking back at his brother.

"You've never looked better!" He chirped, ducking as I swiped at him again.

"Oh _yeah_, black and blue are definately my colors." I grumbled sarcastically.

"Dark colors _are_ slimming." He mused, ignoring my glare.

"Did we interrupt something?" Temari asked, looking between Gaara and I.

I turned my eyes to Gaara, waiting for him to answer since he was the one who had been cut off. Gaara's lips twitched downwards as we stared at each other, tension tangible in the air. Desperately, _selfish__ly_, I hoped he would say yes. My heart yearned to hear what he was going to say, bad or good.

"Ask Gaara." I finally muttered, shutting my eye.

"... No." Came his whispered reply.

Minutes ago I had wished he was yelling at me, _hating_ me but it didn't make this word any less painful to hear. My eye clenched tighter, fingers curling in my lap.

_"I don't even know what I was hoping to hear."_ I thought bitterly.

"If you're sure..." Temari trailed off, lips pulling into a frown.

"I'm tired." I snapped, laying back down.

With much effort I turned onto my right side, back facing them. I bit into my cheek until I drew blood as the weight of my good leg rested heavily on the broken.

"But you just woke up!" Kankuro whined childishly.

"I want to be alone." I said as harshly as I could.

The room grew quiet and I could feel their stares on my back. I pulled my blanket up to my shoulders, letting them know I that was serious. Kankuro was the first to respond, as I had expected.

"Alright," He sighed and I could imagine him running his fingers through messy hair, "Get better, ne? I'll come visit you soon Noriko-baka."

"You're the _baka_," Temari hissed, smack resounding in the air, "... Do get better though Noriko..."_  
_

I listened as two sets of footsteps retreated, pausing only to open and close the door. With everything I had left in me, I ignored Gaara.

_"He will not make a fool of me!"_ I swore to myself, drawing my legs as high as I could.

"Noriko-chan..." Gaara paused, taking a deep breath, "... Get well soon, Noriko-chan..."

_"... Fuck it."_

"That's all you had to say to me?" I snarled.

In one jerky motion I was standing toe to toe with the infuriating Kazekage, teeth bared. Gaara's eyes doubled and he reached forward to grab me but I slapped the hands away. Only pure adrenaline and sheer willpower was keeping me up right, keeping me from feeling the pain. I reached my good arm up, finger uncurling to poke him harshly in the chest.

"'Get well soon, Noriko-_chan_?'" I growled, jabbing him again, "After everything you've put me through and that was all you had to say? Are you fucking serious?"

Gaara moved back slightly but I followed, determined to get _everything_ related to him off my chest. Once. And. For. All.

"I've been a wreck Gaara! You kiss me, then send me away like I'm diseased and all I get is a fucking "Get well soon"? For the five months that I was with Tamaki and Yumiryo all I did was cry and act pathetic over you! I couldn't even sleep because you haunted my dreams and being awake was barely better! I couldn't even hear, let alone _say_ your name without feeling hurt, without suffering! And I wasn't just hurting because of that! I was also hurting because of how _badly_ I wanted- no! How badly I _needed_ you! Hurting because even though I wanted to hate you, I really, _really_ did but I couldn't! I couldn't force myself to hate _you_! Instead I hated myself and I still do!" I was shaking violently by this point and my adrenaline rush was waning.

I stumbled backwards, the backs of my thighs colliding with the hospital bed. It scooted noisily across the floor and I felt myself falling. I tensed, preparing for the pain to come but firm arms wrapped around my waist. I breathed in Gaara's unique scent, fingers betraying me as they curled into the front of his robes. I buried my face in his chest as tears leaked from my uncovered eye.

"_Please_." I whispered, conveying everything into that one word.

"Noriko," Gaara murmured, voice rumbling in his chest, "I... You're all I ever wanted."

I pushed lightly against his chest and he sat me on the bed carefully. My heart was soaring, my head felt light, my stomach filled with butterflies. Then it was gone, the weight of everything else I was dealing with making itself known. The weight of my guilt and my soon to be lie, _deception_, of my time with Tamotsu.

"Gaara," I whispered, worrying my lip, "I... I selfishly wanted to hear that more than anything..."

Gaara's fingers caught my chin, tilting my face towards his. His eyes searched mine before he slowly leaned in, pressing his lips firmly to mine. Unlike the last time I responded, moving my own lips against his. Again the kiss wasn't hot and steamy, nor passionate and slow. This time it was mutual, expressing what neither of us could in words. A few short seconds later he pulled back smile spreading over his face.

"When you're ready then, Noriko-chan?" He husked, quoting words he had used before.

"Hai Gaara," I recited slowly, "When I'm ready."


	18. Chapter 18

"Noriko-san, I understand that this may be hard for you but it is of utmost importance that we know what happened." Katashi, as he had introduced himself, said.

I nodded, letting him know that I understood. He gave me a small smile, pulling the chair near my bed closer and opened a scroll. I watched as he pulled out a vile of ink, uncapping it and dipping the tip of a brush inside. He began writing and I leaned slightly forward, just making out the date.

"It's silly, I know but can please state your name and age?" He asked, brush poised over the paper.

"Noriko... Just Noriko. Age, 16." I mumbled.

"Mmm," He hummed lightly as he wrote, "And now for the hard stuff. Can you state your rank and the mission details you received?"

"ANBU Class Shinobi of Sunagakure. Mission received from Baki-san, orders directly from Kazekage-sama himself. Mission details to find and eliminate a missing-nin from Kumogakure, Tamotsu. While searching for the target we were to also check on the borders and their security. I acted as mission leader and was accompanied by two fellow ANBU, Tamaki-san and Yumiryo-san." I replied roboticly.

_"Detached. I need to stay detached."_

"Before this you were Kazekage-sama's personal guard, correct? Do you know why you were chosen for this particular mission when you already had a specific duty?" He asked lightly but I caught the tone.

I tried to fight the frown from forming on my lips but they tugged down anyway.

"That's... Correct. Before being given this mission I acted as Kazekage-sama's personal guard," I paused, frown deepening, "I don't know why I was assigned the new mission. If you wish to know why Kazekage-sama chose me then I guess you'll have to ask him yourself."

His hand hesitated slightly, possibly pondering my answer before he let out a small chuckle and continued writing.

"What is your relation to the missing-nin, Tamotsu?" He asked next, stunning me slightly.

_"This doesn't feel like a normal report..."_

"He is the man who raped my Kaa-san, Hanako." A twinge of guilt passed over me at the words.

"So your biological father?"

"... Hai."

"Do you and him have any sort of relationship?" He asked, eyes suddenly bright.

"Excuse me, Katashi-_san_ but I thought this was a mission report. I'll answer your question first, by saying no. I do not, nor would I ever, have a relationship with a man who ruined my entire childhood." I snapped in annoyance.

_"Lie number one."_

"You're right, Noriko-san," He smiled, waving a hand at me, "Please forgive me for going off topic."

_"Like I believe that,"_ I huffed silently, _"Just who sent you Katashi?"_

"Would you please relay to me what happened the night you were attacked?" He asked, dipping his brush again.

"Hai..." I replied, steeling myself for a second lie to come, "Tamaki-san, Yumiryo-san and I had been searching for our target for around five months at this point, as well as keeping up with border duties. It was nighttime and Yumiryo-san was already asleep while Tamaki-san and I stayed up to finish a report. When we were done, I chose to stay guard but Tamaki-san opted to do it instead."

"And why was that, Noriko-san? Did Tamaki-san normally disobey orders?" Katashi interrupted.

I pinched myself to keep from grimacing at his accusing tone. Tamaki may have been weird and a little eccentric but he wasn't disobeying anything, he had been worried about me. I kept that bit of information to myself and continued.

"No, of course not. He was being... Kind."

"Mmm," Another stroke of his brush, "Go on."

_"Did Gaara send him here...? Was... Does Gaara think something happened between Tamaki and I...? Is that why he hasn't visited?"_

"Tamaki-san sent off the scroll, then left to check the perimeter. I fell asleep soon after he left," I decided he didn't need to know about my weird dream, "I heard something and woke up. I called out because I thought it was Tamaki-san. When he didn't answer I checked the surroundings. Tamaki-san was supposed to wake me after a few hours to take my shift."

"Did Tamaki-san ever come back late before?"

I shook my head, "No, he was good about switching shifts..."

"Why didn't you prepare for the worst then?" He mused, as if it wasn't a question.

"I did!" I snapped, nails biting into my palm, "I woke Yumiryo-san immediately and had her stay put, while I checked the area!"

"Did you not think staying together would have been better? With Tamaki-san not being present."

I bit my lip, forcing down a low growl, _"Are you accusing me of something?"__  
_

"I didn't think it necessary. Both Yumiryo-san and I being _ANBU_." I said, taking a breath to calm myself.

Katashi nodded as he continued to write and I could help but feel angry.

_"Even if their deaths were my fault..."_ I seethed, _"I thought I had gotten over it..."_

Katashi waved his hand for me to start speaking again and the coil in my stomach tightened.

"When I was a few feet away from Yumiryo I heard her gasp and when I turned around, someone had already captured her. There was nothing I could do, I didn't know if the person had partners... At least not that I could determine. They told me to drop my weapon and I oblige-"

"Why?" Katashi interrupted again.

I paused, memories of first meeting Tamotsu running through my head. The same anxiety from the situation plaguing me, as if I was there and living it again.

"... They said... That they would kill her if I didn't..." I murmured, eyes turned down.

"Shinobi die every day, you know this. So why did you oblige at the risk of your own life?"

"Of course I know that!" I growled, sending him a glare, "A Captain's job it to make sure their subordinates live, even if it can cost them their own life!"

Katashi just smiled, raising a hand as if to surrender, "Go on then, Noriko-san. What did you do next?"

"I bluffed, saying that our squad had more members..." I remembered the way Tamotsu chastised me for lying, "It didn't work. They told me they had already... Tamaki was already..."

I hadn't realized it until then, but I had never even reacted when Tamotsu told me that he had killed him. Tears that I hadn't shed for Tamaki suddenly sprang in my eyes, forgotten guilt wrenching its way into my heart.

_"Don't act pathetic now, Noriko!" _

"Dead?" Katashi asked, giving me the word.

"Hai." I said quietly, wiping the tears before he could notice.

"Yumiryo-san died as well, how did it happen?"

"They... Slashed her throat in front of me..."

I could see the way her eyes widened with surprise. The way her blood spilled from her wound and stained her vest. The way she staggered forward when Tamotsu had released her, the way her body fell to the ground with a heavy thud. My stomach clenched tightly, the images making me sick all over again. I took a shaky breath, forcing myself to continue.

"It was impossible for me to heal... We both would have died... I engaged the enemy and lost..."

"Mmm, so this person was strong? Even stronger than three of Suna's own ANBU?" His tone was mocking.

"Obviously." I snapped, hatred for the weak way I felt when Tamotsu had all but toyed with me.

"There are not many shinobi who can claim the title of ANBU, let alone beat another. Most fights among ANBU end in death. Why were you spared while Yumiryo-san and Tamaki-san were not? Both of them had been part of ANBU for much longer than yourself, yet you say both were easily eliminated." Katashi mused, finger tapping his chin.

Not only was he mocking me and my strength but those of two fellow,_ deceased_ shinobi as well? Did this man have no honor or respect for his fallen comrades?

_"Watch yourself, Ka-ta-shi."_ I snarled in my head.

"I don't know why I was left alive. Why don't you ask them yourself?" I hissed but pressed on, "After I lost my battle, I woke to find myself bound and blindfolded."

The lie felt bitter and heavy on my tongue but I was begrudgingly thankful that I was speaking to such a bastard.

_"I don't think I would have been able to otherwise."_

"I see..." He murmured, hand flying over the paper quickly, "And your injuries? How did you get those?"

"I was beaten for not giving information about Suna."

"For how long?"

"I don't know for sure, maybe around two weeks. I wasn't able to see the sun where I was."

"So I can assume you couldn't see who captured you either then?"

"Hai."

The lies were flying off my tongue, so intricately woven that I was even surprising myself. I was never one for lying, especially about something like this. But if I were to ever find out the truth about what had happened then I had to. I just hoped that they were as convincing as I tried to make them seem. Katashi finished writing before staring at me, eyes searching for a lie.

_"But I haven't given any reason to lie, this should all be believable. Who has he spoken to, to make him doubt me?"_

Katashi sighed suddenly, running a hand through his hair. I frowned internally, steeling myself for his next question.

"Please forgive me if this sounds like I'm accusing you of anything but just how _did_ you escape?" He asked, perching closer, "If you say you were held prisoner, by someone stronger than yourself, then it surely couldn't have been easy, especially with the wounds you had, Noriko-san."

"Of course not, Katashi-_san_, it's a reasonable question. A reasonable accusation." I replied carefully.

"Good, good. Go on then." He said, grinning like a cat.

"Two days passed and no one had come," I murmured, dropping my eyes low as if remembering, "I knew that I would be killed if I stayed, so I escaped. I had been working on a plan to escape the moment I knew I was captured. They had just given me an opportunity. They obviously lacked belief in my skills and didn't think I could. When I was finally free I remember running for a long time, which in turn worsened my wounds. When I couldn't run, I walked. The last thing I saw was a Suna shinobi before I passed out."

Dip, write, dip, write. I waited patiently for him to finish, silently praising myself on being one step closer to my goal. When he was done he blew on the ink, waited for another moment then rolled it shut. I watched as he grabbed the vile of ink, capping it and tucking it into his pouch. I raised a brow as he smiled at me, standing from the chair.

"I'll deliver this now, Noriko-san," He said, hand resting on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "I hope you get well soon."

When he shut the door behind him I growled, rubbing my shoulder. He had intentionally squeezed too hard.

* * *

"I hope Katashi-san was kind to you. I asked him not to strain you too much, you're still recovering." Miaka smiled, scribbling something on her clipboard.

"He was just _peachy_." I mumbled, eyes drifting away from her.

She gave a small laugh as she continued writing. I didn't know if she caught my tone or if she was choosing to ignore it. It didn't really matter either way, it was the least of my worries. I still couldn't figure out why Katashi had been sent but obviously whoever he had talked too didn't trust me. I ruled Gaara out, it surely couldn't be him. Unless the kiss and confession had been fake. It didn't help that he hadn't visited me since then either.

_"Don't worry about that now."_ I scolded myself.

If it hadn't been Gaara, then who though? The only people that came to mind were the council members. They were the only others would could issue for a report but if it really was them then did it mean Tamotsu hadn't been lying? Subconsciously, while with him, I had began to believe that he was telling the truth. If it had been the council then it was only more of a reason for me to believe him.

_"But it could have been Gaara."_

"Ouch!" I shouted suddenly as Miaka pressed her hand against my thigh.

"I'm sorry, Noriko-san!" Miaka said, removing her hand quickly.

"No. It's fine. Sorry that I over reacted." I said through clenched teeth.

She gave me a questioning look but her ever present smile came back quickly.

"You're healing quite well, Noriko-san. I think after a few more healing sessions your wrist and leg will be back to full use in a few weeks." She chirped happily.

"That's good." I replied earnestly.

A loud knock on the door caused us both to look up. We shared a confused glance, obviously neither of us had been expecting a visitor.

"Come in." Miaka called, pulling the blanket up to my waist.

My eyes widened in surprise as Baki stepped in, face grim as usual. Miaka caught my eye, as if asking it was okay to leave and I gave a slight nod.

"I'll be back soon, Noriko-san. We'll have a healing session." She smiled, patting my knee lightly.

"Sounds good." I nodded again.

"Baki-san." She murmured, giving a small bow as she left the room.

"Miaka-san." He greeted back, eyes not leaving me.

When she shut the door Baki strode over, taking a seat quickly. We stared at each other, me waiting for him to speak first. Nerves on edge.

_"I really hope this has nothing to do with Katashi."_

"So how are you feeling?" Baki asked.

"Umm, fine?" I asked back, stunned.

"That's good." Baki chuckled and instantly I felt relieved.

Albeit a tiny bit suspicious.

"What'd the medic say? Will you be able to continue as a shinobi?" He asked bluntly.

"Of course." I replied, lips pursing slightly.

"That's good to hear." He grinned.

I nodded slowly, not really knowing how to continue the odd conversation. Baki seemed just as lost, grin falling into his normal frown. His eyes looked me over carefully, making me feel slightly self conscious. Absently I began tugging on a strand of loose hair, twirling it around a finger. After what felt like a long time he let out a heavy sigh, shoulders sagging.

"Its good to know you kept your promise." He muttered, sounding relieved.

"Promise?" I asked, frowning again.

"Hai."

"What pro- oh..." I hadn't died.

_"I didn't realize he was so concerned..."_

"Though you shouldn't have been so hurt, Noriko. You should be ashamed of yourself." Baki grunted and I couldn't help but smile.

It made me think of Tamotsu and how after praising me, he quickly criticized something else. They were actually sort of alike, if I thought about it.

_"Except for the fact that Tamotsu is like a giant child..."_

So maybe they weren't alike at all.

"Hai, I'll do better next time Baki." I smiled apologetically, dipping my head in a bow.

"Good. You better." He said gruffly, pressing his hand to the top of my head.

I beamed brightly, temporarily forgetting all my worries as we began to talk.

* * *

I pouted childishly, crossing my arms over my chest. Miaka just laughed, urging me to pick up my chopsticks. I sent her a fake glare, grabbing them in my good hand. I hesitated, giving the "food" a cautious whiff.

_"It doesn't smell like anything..."_

"You need to eat, Noriko-san. I know hospital food isn't that good but..." She trailed off.

"This is food?" I asked, pulling a face.

"Hai! It has all the right nutrients that you need!" She argued.

I poked the, well whatever it was and flinched when it jiggled in the bowel. I dropped my chopsticks back on the tray, shaking my head.

"It's going to eat _me_." I mumbled, eyeing it wearily.

"Not if you eat it first!" She teased.

"I thought I would be welcomed back in Suna with open arms, now I find my _own_ comrades are trying to kill me. What's next? A giant rain storm?" I asked, giving her a dry look.

Miaka tried to glare but I could see the smile fighting to break free.

_"She's really too kind."_

"Starve for all I care." She said, giving me a forced shrug.

"That's all I asked for." I replied, giving her a bright smile.

She really did laugh at that, shaking her head as though she wanted to reprimand me but couldn't. I gave a small chuckle of my own, her infectious laughter was hard to ignore.

"I'm glad you're in a better mood, Noriko-san." She said between giggles.

I raised an eyebrow in question, "Was I really that bad before?"

"Erm," She flushed in embarrassment, "I didn't mean to seem so rude, I'm sorry. You just... You've seemed down lately, w-which is completely understandable! I'm just glad you're looking better and seem happier..."

"I was joking, Miaka-san," I said, giving her a grin, "I know I was kinda... Down. I didn't mean to worry you or anything..."

"N-No! It's fine! Like I said, I'm glad!" She said, suddenly scooting the tray closer, "Now eat and I won't have any reasons to worry!"

"That was... Very sneaky, Miaka-san," I said in slight awe, "I'm impressed."

"Impressed enough to eat it?" She asked.

"Almost but not quite." I grinned cheekily.

"Well I tried." She said, giving a playful sigh as she grabbed the tray.

A soft knock interrupted us and we shared our second curious glance.

"You're really popular today, Noriko-san." Miaka chuckled, heading over to the door.

She opened it while balancing the tray in her other hand but stiffened slightly, giving a bow. I craned my neck to try and catch a glimpse of who it was but they were stepped too far back for me to see. When Miaka straightened she was smiling brightly, eyes darting to me briefly.

"Of course, Kazekage-sama. Please go ahead." She said, stepping out of the room.

_"Gaara?" _I thought needlessly as he walked in.

"Hello, Noriko-chan." He murmured when the door was shut.

"Ahh, hello." I replied, giving him a meek wave.

"I'm sorry I didn't visit you the last few days." He said softly, taking a seat.

"Ah, no worries! I'm sure you're busy and all." I hummed, heart hammering in my chest.

_"What are you doing here Gaara? Does it have to do with Katashi's report...?"_

"How have you been feeling, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked.

"Good, fine, perfect!" I paused, noticing that I was rambling, "Ahh, just my wrist and leg are still messed up. But Miaka-san says I should be good to go soon, I'll just have to use crutches for a while..."

"That's good." Gaara said with a small smile.

"Mhmm," I agreed, deciding to change the subject away from me, "So how about you? How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well." He said, eyelids dropping slightly.

"Well that's, err, good." I nodded, giving him a bright smile.

I shifted slightly on the bed, eyes turning to my lap as my fingers twisted in the blanket. I wracked my brain for something to say but everything sounded lame or cheesy. I watched Gaara from the corner of my eye but he didn't seem to note my nervousness. He, himself, seemed quite calm and relaxed. The paranoia from the meeting with Katashi earlier washed over me.

_"Maybe I should ask him about that..."_

"Ah, so... Did you read the report yet?" I asked, trying to look disinterested as I plucked on a loose string.

Gaara raised a nonexistent brow, "What report, Noriko-chan?"

"Err, the one Katashi wrote?" I asked, brows furrowing in confusion, "About what happened during my mission..."

"I didn't issue for a report yet..." Gaara frowned.

"Are you sure?"

"Hai. I was giving you time to rest." Gaara murmured, more to himself than me.

"Oh..."

_"Did the council really make the request? What are they trying to hide? Could... could it be...?"_

"-Ave to go. I'm sorry, Noriko-chan." Gaara said quietly, drawing my attention.

"Huh? Oh, um, alright..." I mumbled as he stood.

"I'll visit you soon, Noriko-chan. Sleep well." Gaara all but whispered.

He leaned a fraction closer towards me and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. He seemed to think better of his idea and he straightened fully, giving me a warm smile instead.

"See you later, Gaara." I replied, forcing my smile.

"Hai, Noriko-chan."

* * *

"Ugh! This is all so frustrating!" I growled, tossing for the billionth time that night.

My mind was too filled for me to even think about getting sleep and it was all because I had to open my big mouth. If I had known that the council were the ones who had sent Katashi, I wouldn't have mentioned it to Gaara at all. It wasn't that I didn't want him _not_ knowing but it made things more complicated. Especially with the suspicious way the council had gone about getting the report. Gaara wouldn't take too lightly to his authority being questioned and I couldn't blame him for that.

"But this is really going to be harder now!" I sulked.

I almost wish it had been Gaara who had sent Katashi. At least then I didn't have to worry about the council, but if they were suspicious as well...

_"Does that mean Tamotsu was telling the truth?"_ I shook my head quickly, _"No, I need more evidence first. They could have just been worried about who had captured me..."_

I sighed. That sounded too coincidental for me to even _pretend_ to believe.

_"I have to be careful now... I can't slip up at all or I'll be found out..."_

The thought of both the council _and_ Gaara knowing I lied to them sounded a lot worse than just one of them. I had to make sure not to make any mistakes. It could cost me my life...

_"But what do I do when I find out the truth? If Tamotsu wasn't lying... Do I get revenge? Or do I keep lying and bite my tongue?"_

That was the hardest question and I didn't think I even wanted to know the answer.

_"What will the council do?"_

Will they try to assassinate me, even if I keep silent about it? And what if I can't keep silent? Surely I'll be assassinated if I even try to take their lives. Something inside of me screamed death to them, screamed to kill as many as I could before I was. For some reason it didn't bother me nearly as much as it should have.

_"What will Gaara do?"_

Will he hate me for lying to him? Will he want to kill me himself? I could imagine the hurt expression in his eyes and it made me sick.

_"If he does find out, I will have to apologize."_ I hoped he didn't hold a grudge after I was dead.

That seemed the only possible outcome, my death. Regardless of which way the answer turned I was committing a capitol offence. Lying was the first but depending on the answer, depending on what I did with that knowledge, murder or treason could easily be tacked on. I would die before I could ever wring Tamotsu's neck if he was lying. Maybe I was wrong to question the "truth"? I had gone my entire life believing Tamotsu was the reason Hanako was dead, believing the only way to avenge her was his death.

_"Am I really so easily swayed?"_ I mused, tugging the blanket higher.

After only two weeks of being with him, the man who may or may not have be the reason for my Kaa-san's death, the man man who murdered his own team and was branded a missing-nin, the man who murdered _my_ team, I began loosing faith in something I thought I knew my entire life. Maybe I had a weak mind or maybe he was really that good of an actor but something inside me believed him. Yearned and longed to believe him. Maybe I was just desperate for a parents attention.

"Look what you got yourself into Noriko," I muttered, mocking myself, "Good job."


	19. Chapter 19

"I didn't issue for a report." Gaara stated seriously.

Ryuuno and Kameyo exchanged glances before bowing to the young Kazekage.

"Forgive us, Kazekage-sama." Ryuuno spoke as they straightened.

"We did not mean to disobey orders." Kameyo added, taking a seat.

"Then why did you?" Gaara asked, arms folding over his chest.

"We decided that the report on what happened to Noriko-san was of utmost importance." Kameyo explained lightly, folding her hands in her lap.

"Hai, Kazekage-sama," Ryuuno nodded, taking a seat as well, "For the most accurate recounting it had to be done soon, least something be... Forgotten."

"I said to wait until she was healed and well rested. Did you not think Noriko lacking those could lead to the same conclusion?" Gaara murmured, voice low and steady.

"Of course we took that into account, Kazekage-sama. We waited three days and when we learned that you had no intentions of sending someone yourself, at least not soon, we decided to take precautionary measures. Kazekage-sama, we are sure you have the villages best interest in mind but the situation is unique and could be a danger to Suna. Perhaps your... Affections towards her clouded your judgement." Ryuuno spoke carefully.

"What do you mean by "unique situation"?" Gaara asked, ignoring the mans accusing words.

"Don't you find it interesting?" Kameyo spoke instead, "That Noriko-san lived when two other, better _trained_ ANBU, did not?"

"Careful Kameyo," Ryuuno interrupted, "We did not come here to express our concerns."

Gaara raised a invisible brow in question, folding his hands under his chin, "What concerns are you both talking about?"

The pair shared another glance and for some reason it made Gaara slightly suspicious.

_"Whatever their concerns may be, they have to do with Noriko."_

"Please understand that we did not wish to express them to you, Kazekage-sama," Ryuuno said, pulling a scroll from his sleeve, "The concerns may just be us elders over thinking things but we must be cautious. We have known war and we were only trying to quell our doubts and they have been, I assure you. But something else seems... Off. Which leads us to our new concerns, surrounding the "capture and torture" of the ANBU, Noriko-san."

"Noriko's wounds are real," Gaara said stiffly, "I don't appreciate what you're implying."

"I'm sorry, Kazekage-sama. I'm not meaning to imply anything, simply stating my concerns," Ryuuno explaining, laying the scroll on the table between them, "This is the report Kameyo and I received on what happened, please feel free to read it and make your own assumptions, Kazekage-sama."

Gaara frowned, staring at the scroll for a moment before reaching for it. Kameyo raised a hand to her mouth and coughed, blocking a smile from view. Ryuuno shot her an annoyed glance at the action.

_"Am I doubting Noriko if I read this?"_ Gaara asked himself, fingers hesitating to open it.

'Just open it you brat!' Shukaku roared viciously.

_"Silence."_ Gaara snapped back but found himself listening regardless.

In a few swift motions the scroll was opened, Gaara's eyes scanning over it quickly.

* * *

"Don't try to live so wise, don't cry 'cause you're so right, don't dry with fakes or fears, 'cause you will hate yourself in the end. You say, "Dreams are dreams. I ain't gonna play the fool anymore." You say, "'Cause I still got my soul."." I sang quietly, watching the sun begin set from my window.

It made me think of watching the sunrise in Suna, so many months ago. For some reason my heart was pounding in my chest and I could feel tears trying to break free. I ignored the feelings, fisting the blanket tighter in my grasp. I pulled my good leg up, resting my head on my knee as I continued, eyes never leaving the red and purple sky.

"Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down. Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom. Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing, shadows of nothing. You still are blind, if you see a winding road, 'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see. Don't try to live so wise, don't cry 'cause you're so right, don't dry with fakes or fears, 'cause you will hate yourself in the end..." I took a deep, shaky breath, "Don't try to live so wise, don't cry 'cause you're so right, don't dry with fakes or fears, 'cause you will hate yourself in the end."

This time I let the tears roll free, there was no use trying to stop them. At first they were silent streams but soon I was crying harshly, loud sobs wracking through my chest. The pain in my heart swelled, leaving me hard to breathe. I tried to taken in a deep breath to calm myself but it only made my crying worse.

"S-stop being so pathetic!" I shouted at myself, pressing the heel of my hand against one of my eyes, "W-what's wr-wrong with you, Noriko!"

_"Everything."_ My mind supplied.

I croaked out a laugh, shaking my head and hot tears splashed against my arms. I pressed the wood splint against my stomach, cradling it to me with my good arm. I dropped my chin back to my knee, lips trembling with laughter and sobs. I couldn't even remember a time, before all of _this_, that I had ever cried this hard; cried this pathetically. I had always been too proud, as a shinobi, as a person.

"I've really changed." I mused sullenly, licking my upper lip.

It was salty from the still collecting tears.

* * *

"I don't understand what you're trying to get me to... Interpret from this, Ryuuno-san, Kameyo-san but it seems her responses were justified." Gaara said, fighting the urge to scowl.

"Kazekage-sama," Kameyo sighed, as if he was missing the point, "Did you know that the missing-nin you sent Noriko-san after was her father?"

Gaara frowned, giving a nod, _"Why is that important?"_

"Then you should understand why Ryuuno and myself are cautious. Tamotsu is not only a missing-nin of Kumogakure but was also an enemy to Suna years ago. He had been captured and escaped. He is a master manipulator an-"

"You think he manipulated Noriko?" Gaara all but hissed.

Ryuuno raised a hand to stop Kameyo from speaking again.

"We are not saying that for sure but it is a possibility. We hope it isn't true either, Kazekage-sama. We are just merely taking precautions." He said calmly.

"You think Noriko would lie to save him? The man she became strong, so she could kill?" Gaara asked, tone dangerous.

"He is a master of manipulation, as Kameyo said." Ryuuno replied.

"I would say that I know Noriko better than the both of you." Gaara countered.

Ryuuno stood from his chair, motioning for Kameyo to follow suit. He glanced over the Kazekage, giving him a deep bow and walked towards the door. He opened it quietly, allowing Kameyo to exit first before turning back to Gaara.

"Five months is a long time, Kazekage-sama. People do change." He murmured, bowing again.

* * *

I struggled pitifully, trying to lift myself through the window in my room; it was a lot harder than I anticipated with only one good hand. I was already out of breath and panting heavily, a combination from the crying and the "walk" to the window. My leg was still screaming in protest but I was determined to ignore it. My need and desire for fresh air outweighing any self preservation I had left. I seemed to be lacking a lot of that in the past week or so.

When I finally managed to pull myself out the window, carefully lifting my leg over the ledge, I sighed. Now it was time for the really _hard_ part. Scaling a wall with only two limbs had never been part of any of my ANBU training but I was now wishing it had been. I concentrated my chakra to both hands and feet, deciding that I would try anyway and gripped the wall above the window. My wrist didn't seem nearly as angry with me as my leg did and I took it as a good sign.

After a lot of awkward hops and lunges up the wall, my fingers were secured over the edge and I put all my effort into pulling up. My muscles bulged and tightened in resistance but I finally made it over.

"Thank Kami." I mumbled, throwing myself onto my back.

My chest rose and fell quickly while I greedily sucked the fresh air into my lungs. It had definately been worth the hassle. The air was cool and crisp, causing goosebumps to raise over my exposed skin. I shut my eyes, relishing in the feeling. The sand under me rubbed against the backs of my thighs and arms but I welcomed it. I hadn't realized I had missed the feeling of sand so much.

"Oh well." I whispered, opening my eyes.

Suna's bright, beautiful moon stared back at me and I let myself smile. I had missed this and that much I knew. No matter where I went in the world, nothing was as breathtakingly perfect as this; not even it being half full could deter my conclusion.

"And it all started on Gaara's roof." I mused.

If I had never went to capture a "thief" on my first night staying with him, I doubted I would have ever took the time to watch the moon. I just hadn't been that kind of person. I'd always been serious, at least when alone. If I wasn't with others, goofing off and joking around, then I was training tirelessly. When alone, that's all I ever did.

"And for what?" I asked myself.

_"Something that may or may not be the truth? I feel like I should have enjoyed things like this before..."_

"Noriko-chan?"

I bolted upwards, hand pressed to my mouth to stifle my shriek. Gaara raised a nonexistent brow but the small curve of his lips meant he was clearly amused. I gave him my best glare but it didn't work, especially when he didn't keel over like I wanted.

"Why do you insist on sneaking up on me?" I grumbled, laying back down.

"I don't sneak." Gaara replied, sitting beside me.

"Yeah and I'm the Hokage." I muttered under my breath.

"Did you say something, Noriko-chan?" Gaara asked, staring down at me.

"Nothing!" I chimed cheerfully, puffing out my cheeks.

"You seem to be in a pleasant mood, Noriko-chan." Gaara stated and I fought to keep myself from rolling my eyes.

_"If you only knew. Less then an hour ago I was crying harder then ever..."_

"Yeah." I mumbled instead.

Gaara didn't need to know about that. _No one_ needed to know about that. I would just keep it to myself and pray it never happened again. For some reason I doubted it wouldn't.

"Does Miaka-san know your up here?" Gaara asked suddenly, causing me to flush in embarrassment.

"O-Of course!" I exclaimed quickly.

Gaara didn't even pretend to believe me.

"Alright... So I snuck out... But you can't blame me! I needed fresh air! Hospitals are so... So stuffy!" I said quickly.

"Is that so?" Gaara mused, giving me a smile, "And how did you escape?"

"I scaled the wall! How else?" I snapped.

Gaara's eyes narrowed suddenly, smile turning into a frown and I frowned back.

"What?" I asked.

"You're injured. You shouldn't strain yourself. That was reckless, Noriko-chan." He murmured, eyes softening slightly.

"I'm a shinobi! This is nothing!" I waved dismissively.

Gaara didn't seem to agree but he kept it to himself. I hummed lightly, turning my eyes back towards the sky. A warm feeling settled in the pit of my stomach and I realized it was the first time we actually talked like normal. Like before stupid emotions had gotten in the way. It felt nice. I chose to bask in the moment.

_"Who knows how long it will last?"_

* * *

"Ouch! Careful! I'm _injured_, remember?" I growled when Gaara all but dropped me onto my bed.

"I'm sorry, Noriko-chan." Gaara responded.

"I could have done a better job climbing down the wall, but nooooo! You just had to teleport us!" I grumbled, fluffing my pillows, "Do you know how weird that felt?"

"No."

_"Of course not. It's normal for you."_ I thought sarcastically.

"Really, _really_ weird!" I muttered, leaning back, "I feel like I have sand in places I never wanted sand!"

Gaara gave me a curious look but sat down in the chair beside my bed without a word. I continued to mutter incoherently to myself, pulling the blanket up to get comfortable. When I was finally satisfied that I was comfortable I looked back at him, blushing at his unwavering stare. Childish butterflies bloomed in my stomach, making me self conscious.

"So did you need something? It's kind of late for a visit..." I asked to distract myself.

Gaara crossed his arms over his chest, eyes growing serious. I frowned.

_"So this wasn't a social visit after all."_

"What's wrong? Did... Does it have to do with what I told you yesterday?" I asked cautiously.

I already knew the answer.

"Hai." Gaara said quietly, bluntly.

"Ahhh. I see. Go on then."

"Katashi was sent by two of the council members."

"I figured _that_." I mumbled.

_"So they are involved. Now I just need to figure out why."_

"They think," Gaara paused, nose scrunching slightly, "They were expressing certain_ concerns_ about your capture and torture."

"Concerns?" I feigned innocence.

_"This definately makes things suspicious..."_

"Hai," Gaara confirmed, though there was no need, "About whom may have been the culprit and... And if your report was... Valid."

"They think I'm lying." It wasn't a question.

Anger suddenly boiled under my skin and through my veins. Without even needing to think it, I finally believed Tamotsu wholeheartedly. Why else would the council be so weary, unless they had something to hide? I bit the inside of my cheek until it bled, to fight from voicing this opinion. I didn't need to ruin everything just yet. I was going to make them admit it to me _personally_.

"I don't believe that way." Gaara spoke up, breaking me from my violent thoughts.

"You don't?" I asked skeptically.

"I don't believe you would lie to me, Noriko-chan." He murmured honestly.

Guilt clawed its way into my gut, into my _heart_, replacing the anger in a matter of seconds. Funny or rather how sickening what only a few words could do to a person.

"Arigato, Gaara... Kun..." I whispered finally, hanging my head in shame.

"It's what friends do, correct?" He asked, smiling again, "Believe in each other?"

"Hai." I mused thoughtfully.

_"I wonder if we will even be _enemies_ when this all comes to light?"_

"Are you feeling tired, Noriko-chan? It is getting quite late." Gaara said softly.

"A little." I lied.

I had a feeling that I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight, no matter how hard I tired.

"I'll let you rest then," He said, raising from his seat, "I hope you sleep well, Noriko-chan."

"I hope you rest." I replied back, to which he gave another smile.

_"Stop that."_

"I will try. Goodnight, Noriko-chan." He said, heading towards the exit.

"_Goodbye_." I whispered when he shut the door.


	20. Chapter 20

It had been one week since Gaara had found me on the roof, one week since Miaka had scolded me like a child and I was on the verge of going insane. I felt cooped up and ready to suffocate; trapped in the overly sanitary walls of my hospital room. The color (or absence thereof) white was becoming so offending that I was half tempted to dye my hair as soon as I was let out. Or at least copy Baki's headdress style; I'd have to ask him if he would mind the next time he visited.

Speaking of visits, I felt like I was some kind of exhibit people were paying good money to see. Even the entire ANBU, or what I assumed to be the entire ANBU, had stopped by to wish me a speedy recovery. I had smiled shyly and offered my condolences for Tamaki and Yumiryo. They had assured me that there where no hard feelings and hoped I would be able to join them soon. It had been awkward to say the least but the sentiment was nice enough.

Gaara visited often enough too and we were settling back into the old friendship we had; much to my relief it seemed that the council was being forgotten and forgetting me in return. I decided that, since I believed Tamotsu's story now, I could wait until I was completely recovered before I did anything to them. I still needed to figure out which ones had been involved with my Kaa-san's _murder_ and what I was going to do when I confronted them. For the time being I would selfishly indulge in Gaara and the friendship he offered freely. Though I knew he wanted something more, something that I too really wanted, I didn't think it would be fair to him in the end._  
_

"Hello, Noriko-san!" Miaka said cheerfully, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Heyya, Miaka!" I chirped back, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling today?" She asked happily.

"Great! I'm super excited that I can do this again!" I said, rolling my wrists and splaying my fingers apart.

The biggest plus that the past _dreaded_ week in the hospital gave me was that my wrist was finally fully operational, all thanks to Miaka's wonderful healing skills. I would have to buy her some dango as a thank you when I finally got out of here. If I _ever_ got out of here. I was really beginning to doubt it.

"That's good." She agreed, moved my hospital gown up so she could check my leg.

Her hand began to glow green and I watched it intently. Recently, with nothing else to do, I was becoming increasingly interested in medical ninjutsu. I think it definately had something to with the news Tamotsu had given me about our Kekkei Genkai. I didn't want to forget anything he had taught me and maybe I could learn something from medical ninjutsu that could help keep me in practice, even if I couldn't really practice. I did know for sure that I didn't want to change fields though, it wasn't that interesting.

"Well the fracture is healing very well and so is the ripped muscle around it. If you're ready, you can leave today. You'll need to come back for weekly check-ups and use crutches though." Miaka smiled, jotting something down on her clipboard.

I blinked in surprise, smile slowly stretching across my face.

"This isn't a joke is it? Right? I get to leave? You're for real? " I asked, already feeling excited.

Miaka nodded and I clapped my hands, resting them under my chin.

"Hai, Noriko-san-"

"DROP THE 'SAN' STUFF ALREADY, MY FRIEND!" I bellowed, cutting Miaka off.

"A-Ahh, Noriko-chan? Or just Noriko?" Miaka asked, giving me a wide smile.

"Whatever works for you. I'm going to call you Miaka-chan though. You're too _cute_ and nice for anything less!" I grinned, waving both hands excitedly.

"Noriko-chan it is then." She nodded, blushing at the compliment.

"Seriously," I pressed on, still ginning, "You must have been sent by Kami-sama to make my stay here bearable. You're definately a true friend!"

"Arigato, Noriko-chan. You've become a true friend to me as well." She agreed.

"Great!" I sang excitedly, practically bouncing on the edge of my bed, "UGH! I'm sooo happy! I finally get to go hoooome~!"

"Ahh, where is that exactly, Noriko-chan?" Miaka asked curiously, "Oh! If it's not too rude to ask!"

"Ohh... Umm, no it's fine. I guess I didn't really think about that..." I chuckled, rubbing my neck nervously, "I had been staying at Gaara-sama's... I wonder if they gave his new guard my room..."

"Of course not, baaakaaa." A familiar voice snapped.

"KANKURO!" I cheered, momentarily or possibly selectively, ignoring what he said, "What are you doing here?"

"To collect you of course. Jeez, they must have hit you really hard in the head." He chuckled, leaning against the door-frame.

"Ohh! It's good that your finally here!" Miaka chirped, "Now you have nothing to worry about, Noriko-chan!"

"You told Kankuro before me?" I asked, raising a brow, "I thought you just asked where I was staying?"

"Ohh, well... I-"

"It doesn't matter, Noriko." Kankuro interrupted her.

"You really didn't give up my room?" I asked, turning to him, slightly vexed.

"I just said we didn't, baka," Kankuro sighed, as if it was extreamly obvious, "Once you're back to full health, you'll be taking your old job back. "Babysitting Gaara", as you put it once."

"I-I did not!" I shouted, flushing in embarrassment.

Miaka coughed into her hands, suspiciously sounding like she was covering a laugh. I sent her a playful glare in return.

"Well?" Kankuro drawled jokingly, "Hurry up, I haven't got all day. I _am_ an important shinobi, you know."

"Looking for new make-up isn't that important." I waved dismissively.

"It's not make-up!" Kankuro seethed, arms crossing over his chest, "I've told you a thousand times! It's war paint!"

"Details, details." I chuckled lightly.

_"I really missed this." _I grinned to myself.

This time Miaka couldn't cover up her laugh.

* * *

"CAN WE PLEASE GET SOME REAL FOOD? PLEASE KANKURO?" I begged as we left the hospital.

"You can eat when we get back." Kankuro shrugged, ignoring my pleas.

"Awww, come on! I've been stuck with crappy hospital food! Miaka-chan said it was good for me but it tasted like sh-"

"Just hurry up!" Kankuro growled, walking a few paces ahead of me.

"Where's the fire?" I grumbled under my breath.

"What was that?" Kankuro asked with annoyance coloring his tone.

_"Ohh, someone's still sore about the make-up comment!"_

"I'm trying, baka!" I snapped back, gripping my crutches tighter, "This isn't as easy as it looks!"

It didn't help and I wobbled in place, almost falling face first into the sandy ground.

"You're an ANBU and you're telling me your _greatest_ weakness is trying to walk with crutches?" He asked, turning to me skeptically.

At least he had stopped walking.

"They're not my _greatest_ weakness!" I grumbled, hobbling to his side, "They're just... Difficult to maneuver."

Kankuro eyed me carefully before putting on a sour look.

"I'm not going to carry you, if that's what you're trying to get me to do. I doubt I could anyway, you look like you've gained weight, sitting around and doing nothing..."

"BAKA!" I shouted, trying to smack him with one of my crutches.

It turned out to be a very bad idea because he dodged the attack easily, chuckling as he went. I had a small heart attack at the thought of falling and quickly slammed the crutch into the ground to prevent the fall. It stuck in front of me and I leaned my unbalanced weight onto it.

"_Whew_," I let out the breath I hadn't realized I held, "Crisis averted... No thanks to _you_."

"If you hadn't tried to hit me, then you wouldn't have even been in a "crisis"." Kankuro muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Not the point." I said, starting to let go to wave his comment off.

I paused, thinking of what happened only seconds ago, deciding against it and grabbed the handle tighter in my grasp.

"Let's just hurry up." I relented, hobbling dangerously past him.

"Why couldn't you have just done that in the first place." Kankuro muttered to himself but seemed to slow his own hurried pace.

It took a few stumbles and_ begrudgingly_ one embarrassing fall before we finally reached the gate to Gaara's home. The man at the gate straightened when he noticed us, flashing me a particularly bright smile.

"Welcome back, Noriko-san!" He said, bowing then opening the gates for us to enter.

"Ahh, arigato..." I trailed off, giving an awkward bow in return, "It's, ahh, good to be back..."

Kankuro chuckled and to my surprise, actually helped me up the few stairs to the door without complaint _or_ having to be asked. I gave him a weary look, wondering if I should be fearing for my safety. Maybe he was trying to coax me into a false feeling of comfort before he attacked.

"Well are you going to stand here and stare at me all day or are you going to open the door?" Kankuro asked, mischievous glint in his eye.

"Why do _I_ have to open the door?" I asked back, raising a brow, "Besides, I can't really, ya know, open it while holding crutches..."

"Ohh, err, riiight." Kankuro muttered, taking a step forward and grabbing the handle.

I pressed closely behind him, hoping that whatever trick or trap he was trying to set on me, backfired and hit him instead.

_"And on a poor, defenseless girl no less. How awful of you Kankuro!"_

"Well, here goes nothing." Kankuro sighed dramatically, swinging the door open and jumping back.

I stumbled forward, not realizing just how close I had been to him and fought with gravity to stay upright. When I was sure I was okay, I sent him a glare over my shoulder, opening my mouth to give him a verbal lashing but even my thoughts were suddenly drowned out.

"WEEEELCOMEEE HOOOOME NORIKOOOO!" Rang loudly in the air.

_"... Huh?"_

"Welcome home, Noriko." Kankuro grinned sheepishly, turning my head to face everyone.

"Huh?" I repeated out loud, just to solidify my thought.

"It's a 'Welcome Home' party, baka. It took a long time to organize, so get inside and start appreciating." Kankuro grumbled, hands releasing my head to give my shoulders a soft push.

With wide eyes I took in the familiar faces. Miaka was to my immediate left, to my surprise since I had just seen her not twenty minutes ago, giggling at my surprised expression. Baki was smirking at me, arms crossed tightly over his chest. A sudden presence to my right caused me to look; it was Gaara, giving me one of his barely there smiles.

"O-Ohh, woahh." I said, lip quivering slightly.

"Don't tell me I came all the way here just to see you cry? How troublesome." Someone drawled casually.

"Sh-Shikamaru? You're here?" I asked, suddenly feeling breathless.

The Konoha shinobi gave me a lazy grin that could only be done by him. I noticed Temari was smiling at me from his side.

_"This is... Too good to be true." _

"Close your mouth Noriko-chan! How unbecoming of an old student of mine!" A gruff voice barked with laughter.

"S-Satoshi-sensei?"

"In the flesh, Noriko-chan!" He laughed, swinging an arm over my shoulders, "My how you've grown! It's been too long! I was starting to think you didn't like me anymore!"

"N-No! Of course not! That's not it at all!" I squeaked pathetically.

"Only joking." He laughed again, dropping his arm.

"I... I feel like I'm dreaming..." I mumbled, causing everyone to laugh.

My face heated up in embarrassment.

"You're so cute when you get all flustered, Noriko-chan!" Miaka piped up.

"You were in on this too? How could you do this to me! I thought we were friends!" I declared loudly.

"We are friends," Miaka assured, patting my arm, "But how could I refuse Kazekage-sama when he asked me to come?"

"G-Gaara, you did all this?" I asked in awe, turning back to him.

Maybe it was the unbelievable situation that made me see it but I could have sworn his cheeks dusted the lightest of pinks.

* * *

After my surprise had subsided, the small gathering of people moved into the living room. Gaara, Kankuro and I were sitting on the couch, me in the middle. Baki and Satoshi had both chosen the only two comfy chairs in the room. Temari and Miaka sat on the love-seat and poor Shikamaru had to grab a chair from the kitchen. I offered him my place but he said it was too troublesome for him to move again.

Once we all had settled, Satoshi had pulled two, _not one but two_, bottles of sake from under his shirt and declared a toast. I stared at him in blatant disbelief but he shushed me before I could speak, exclaiming if someone could die for their village then they could "damn sure have a fucking drink!". I was surprised even more when Baki agreed and now everyone had a cup, excluding me. At least Gaara and Shikamaru seemed to share my sentiments about underage drinking, only sipping on their first drink as to not be rude.

"Ahh, I remember when you were five like it was yesterday!" Satoshi chuckled, taking a sip of his sake, "You were so cute then! Especially when you tried to put your hair in pigtails but they were always lopsided!"

"Sensei! Don't say things like that!" I blushed, trying to hide my face in my hands.

"I remember when you came to ANBU training," Baki spoke up, "You were so intimidated by me that you started calling me "_Baki_-mono"."

"P-Pfft." Kankuro started laughing harshly, face reddening with the effort.

"I thought this was a "Welcome Home" gathering, not a "Let's Make fun of Noriko" gathering!" I sputtered, hands flailing in the air.

"I think this is fun!" Miaka giggled, light blush on her face.

"I think you might be drunk." I grumbled, shifting farther into my seat.

"I-I am not! I've only had three..." She mumbled, looking down at her cup, "M-Maybe four...?"

"Don't worry, Miaka-chan!" Satoshi grinned, brown eyes twinkling under the light, "Don't let the _boring_ and strict Noriko-chan get you down! Have as much as you like! I'm sure Baki-san will be willing to help you home!"

"Don't encourage things like that, then volunteer me to do things." Baki grunted, knocking back his drink.

"Don't encourage things like that at all!" I shouted.

"Loosen up, Noriko!" Kankuro grinned, throwing an arm around my shoulders, "I figured out of everyone here, you'd be one of the least serious! I mean even Gaara is having a second and you haven't even taken a drink of your first!"

My mouth dropped open as I turned to Gaara, who indeed was having his cup refilled by Satoshi.

"Traitor!" I hissed.

He gave a barely noticeable shrug and I pouted childishly at him. He didn't even have the decency to look ashamed.

"It's rude to not accept," Shikamaru drawled in amusement, "And one sip won't get you drunk."

"Shikamaru!"

"Not so loud you obnoxious woman," He chuckled, "Everyone is toasting you. Just take a drink and everyone will leave you alone."

"Fine!" I snapped, shoving Kankuro's arm off my shoulders and snatched Gaara's full drink, "You want to me to take a drink? I will!"

In hindsight I should have known better but I was annoyed and clearly not thinking rationally. I pressed the edge of the cup to my lips, tipping the entire thing back.

"H-Hey, I didn't sa- how troublesome..."

The sake burned a path down my throat, causing my eyes to water. I choked on the strong taste, dropping the empty cup in Gaara's lap and forced out a heavy wheeze. The room was filled with loud laughter, distinctively Satoshi-sensei and Kankuro but I could also hear Miaka and Temari. When I finally was able to look up, Baki was wearing a smug grin. Even Gaara and Shikamaru were amused. I opened my mouth to snap at them but the unpleasant heat in my throat became a _very_ pleasant warmth in my stomach causing the words to die on my tongue.

* * *

"G'bye!" I waved excitedly at the three retreating backs of my friends.

"Bye, Noriko-chaaaan!" Satoshi-sensei called back, grabbing Miaka when she swayed dangerously to the left.

I laughed, waiting for them to disappear before wobbling back to the living room. I pouted when I noticed only Kankuro was there, body thrown carelessly over the couch.

"Move o'er." I grunted, jabbing him with a crutch.

Kankuro groaned, dropping his feet off the couch and sat up. I plopped down next to him, not even caring when my crutches fell noisily to the floor. My head was light and the room was a little out of focus.

_"M'be I shouldn't 'ave drank more?"_ I snorted out loud, _"Yeaaaaa, sound's right..."_

After the first drink, the warmth in my stomach purred for more and I had obliged. Now I was tipsy, maybe drunk, I didn't really know if there was a difference right now. Actually, all I wanted to know now is why only Kankuro was in the living room, so I voiced it.

"Ayyyy, where's e'eryoneee?" I mumbled, dropping a hand over my eyes.

"T'mari wenta sleep and that Nara wenta get water... I think..." He said, head resting on the back of the couch.

"An' Gaara?" I asked, nose scrunching up.

"Do'no..."

"He went to the bathroom." Shikamaru spoke up, stepping back into the room.

"Shiiikaaaa." I grinned, moving my arm back down to look at him.

"Noriko." He replied, taking the love-seat.

"Did'ja know ya got a pineapple on yer head?" I asked and it even sounded random to me.

"Obnoxious..." Shikamaru mumbled with a shake of his head.

"She's right, Naraaa." Kankuro chimed in, lifting his head and narrowing his eyes.

"You both are troublesome." Shikamaru chuckled lightly, taking a sip of his water.

"What's troublesome?"

"Gaaaraaaaa!" I cheered, completely forgetting my broken leg.

I stumbled back, butt meeting the couch with a loud thud.

"Ita ta ta ta!" I whined, rubbing my thigh, "Th-that hurt!"

"Obviously." Gaara murmured, with a smirk.

I pouted, yet _again_, moving over so he could sit as well. Gaara gave me a quiet "arigato" as he sat and the warm feeling in my stomach fluttered.

"Ne, Gaaraaaa, did'ja know ya have pretty eyes?" I asked, peering closer.

"Ahhh." Gaara flushed, this time I was _sure_._  
_

"Like reallyyy pretty." I mumbled, staring into the pure aqua pools.

"A-Arigato." He murmured, hands coming up to rest against my shoulders.

I frowned when I realized he was pushing me back, even if it was gently.

"Ne, why're ya pushin' me?" I asked, hands coming up to grab his elbows.

"I'm going to go to bed," Shikamaru interrupted, yawing and raising his arms above his head to stretch.

"G'night." I mumbled, turning to give him a quick smile.

"Come on Sabaku," He said, giving Kankuro a light kick, "Show me where I'm sleeping."

"Arghh, find it yerself..." He grunted, rolling over slightly.

"Kankuro." Gaara said quietly.

"Ahh! A'right, a'right." He relented, clambering to his feet.

They left the room at a lazy pace, fitting for Shikamaru's normal walk and Kankuro's drunk state. I almost chuckled when I hear Kankuro let out a loud swear as he obviously tripped over his feet while walking up the stairs but I remembered my fingers were still wrapped around Gaara's elbows and his over my shoulders. I turned my eyes back to his, catching his intense gaze.

"Wha'?" I grunted, giving a small squeeze, "Why'dja push me?"

"You're... Intoxicated Noriko-chan." He murmured.

I didn't really hear what he said, I was now staring in fascination at his lips. They looked soft and perfectly flushed. I licked my lips without realizing it. Slowly I began leaning closer and when our lips where a hairs width away, I was pushed back again. I blinked.

"Noriko-chan..." Gaara trailed off.

"S'op it." I said seriously.

"I'm keeping you from... Regretting things later, Noriko-chan."

_"Ahhh, Gaara has the mos' perfect voice."_

"No," I shook my head defiantly, "I wan' this."

"You're intoxicated." Gaara tried again.

"So?" I snapped back, dropping my arms, "Yer what I wan'. I don' wanna stay away anymore."

I didn't let Gaara say anything to deny me again, I didn't want to hear it anymore. I didn't want to stay away from him anymore. I wanted him, to be with him. Council be damned, Tamotsu be damned, the truth be damned. I knew it was selfish of me but who knew what would happen after everything came to light? Until it did I wanted-no _needed_ to have this. I needed the chance to be with him, it might be the only time I had to try.

_"As the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all."_

I pushed forward, capturing his lips with my own. They were warm and just as soft as I had thought. I hummed into the kiss, tongue darting across his bottom lip to get a taste. It was unique, just like him. His lips parted slightly, maybe in a gasp and I took the opportunity to dive my tongue in to greedily taste more. The hands that had been so insistent on pushing me away, were suddenly pulling me closer. My own fingers tightened in the front of his shirt as the kiss became more passionate, more _hungry_.

When my lungs finally made themselves known I pulled away, stupid grin plastered on my face. My forehead rested against Gaara's as we took in the much needed oxygen. His eyes were half lidded as he stared into my own, unwavering in their intensity. My heart thundered loudly in my ears, blood boiling as it ran through my veins.

"I really, _really_ like you." I said softly, dropping my head to his shoulder.

Hesitantly, Gaara's fingers left my shoulders, coming up to my loose hair. The tips massaged my scalp gently before running through the length. If I had been a cat, I was sure I would have purred in approval. Instead I gave a gentle "mmm" to show my appreciation of the act. His head dropped down, cheek resting against my temple, warm breath washing over my ear. I shivered involuntarily as goosebumps trailed over my skin, my fingers tightening ever so slightly in their hold.

"I feel... The same..." He whispered finally.

I responded by kissing him again.


	21. Chapter 21

**Authors Note: Oh my goodness you all, I am soooo sorry for the really inexcusably late update! I've just been so busy with college and finding a job and moving into a new apartment and everything. PLEASE FORGIVE ME & please enjoy the new chapter! **

* * *

**Contains Mature Content**

* * *

_I stared down into Gaara's heated eyes as I straddled him, drawing my bottom lip between my teeth. His bare chest was covered in a light sheen of sweat and my hands pressed harder against his shoulders. He gave me a grin, a_ feral_ grin that I had never seen before and instantly heat pooled between my legs. My knees pressed heavier into the bed as I leaned down to capture his lips. The kiss was needy, maybe even a little painful as teeth tugged and pulled but sating none the less. Gaara's fingers squeezed the sides of my thighs, massaging the muscle until my legs felt like putty under his touch._

_"G-Gaara..." I moaned. _

_He didn't say anything but his grin grew wilder, hips rolling upwards when I pushed down. Quickly, I pushed back, settling in his lap as I pulled my shirt over my head. There wasn't time to be embarrassed at my now, fully exposed body, as I dropped down to kiss him again. My tongue ran over his lip, sucking it into my mouth and nibbling. Gaara gave a throaty moan of his own, spurring my boldness farther. I lightly raked my nails over his chest, all but mewling when his fingers kneaded my back. _

_"T-Too much clothing..." I trailed off, leaning back to tug on the waistline of his pants. _

_Gaara let out a deep chuckle which had me tugging quicker to rid them from his perfect body. I crawled off of him, pulling the offending garment with me. Nerves that had been forgotten before suddenly caught up all at once. My lips trembled with a shaky breath seeing Gaara was just as aroused as I was. I blushed darkly, eyes locking with his as I reached hesitant fingers forward. My fingers gently wrapped around his length but I didn't move. _

_"I-I've never done this before..." I whispered, hoping my deceleration didn't break the mood. _

_Gaara gave a noncommittal grunt, hips rolling upwards into my touch. The deep groan that left his lips sent shivers down my spine and I squeezed just a little tighter, sliding my hand downwards. In a matter of minutes Gaara was breathing heavier, throatier. Just as I bent my head to capture him between moist lips, I was jerked upwards by a firm hand around my wrist. The kiss was painful, teeth bashing against teeth but he soothed the pain with soft pecks against abused lips. I was once again sitting over him, knees pressing him into the bed. I almost questioned how Gaara knew what to do but the thought disappeared when he lifted up. _

_His arousal brushed against my most sensitive place, causing my breath to hitch. I opened my mouth to say something,_ anything_ to get him to stop the aching I felt. All words died on my tongue as his right hand came up, squeezing my breast._

_"A-Aahh."_

_My body reacted on it's own, hips rolling against his to cause a delicious friction. Seconds, minutes, hours. I didn't know how much time had passed but Gaara suddenly paused. I cried out in frustration, fingers lacing themselves through his hair. I gave a harsh tug to show my un-appreciation but he only chuckled. _

_"B-Bastard." I wheezed, head still light from his wandering fingers._

_He flipped us over quickly, him now resting above me. A bead of sweat rolled down his neck and I found myself leaning upwards to lick it away. My tongue swiped along the cords of muscle persistently; capturing the salty, and uniquely Gaara, taste. When I pulled away, I noticed Gaara's eyes were hard, serious. I frowned, wondering if I had done something wrong. _

_"Noriko-chan...?" He husked._

_I caught the questioning tone, validated by the way he throbbed against me. I blushed, tugging my own lip into my mouth and reached up, fingers digging into his shoulders. When Gaara didn't react I gave him a reassuring nod; at least I hoped that's what it looked like. He growled, _really growled_, lips latching onto the pulse of my neck. _

_"A-Ahh, G-Gaara..." I moaned, tilting my neck to give him better access. _

_Gaara pressed down and I let out a startled gasp, nails biting into his skin, drawing blood. Gaara removed himself from my neck and his lips pressed feather light kisses to my cheeks. He didn't move beyond that, one hand pressing into my hip, the other holding his weight above me. I hadn't expected... Sex to be so painful and the warm feeling in my stomach was fading. In a desperate attempt to reclaim it I jerked, the movement not all together pleasant but it hurt less then him not._

_"M-Move." I stuttered, trying to relax my death grip. _

_Gaara obliged, thrusting shallowly, slowly. It took a few minutes before my body was welcoming the new feeling, heat pooling in my stomach again. The pain wasn't completely gone but it now paled in comparison to the pleasure. It was soon becoming hard to tell where his moans ended and mine began. One hand finally let go of his shoulder, curling into his red locks and I pulled him down to meet my eager lips. _

_"Noriko-chan." Gaara whispered as he pulled away. _

_ I shuddered as Gaara's left hand traveled from my hip to caress my cheek, fingertips leaving a burning path in their wake. I groaned, moving to meet his thrusts in perfect tandem. Gaara's name left my lips, unbidden, like a broken record._

_"Noriko-chan." Gaara said, only slightly louder. _

_I opened my eyes, not even realizing they had closed. I must have looked wanton, laying beneath him, panting and moaning like a whore. Or maybe virgins were just as bad. I could definately see myself participating willingly if things were only supposed to get better from here. _

_"_Noriko-chan..._" _

_My brows suddenly knit together, the tone of his voice had changed drastically. It was no longer heavily implying his need or wants but gentle, careful. _

_"_Noriko-chan, wake up._"_

* * *

The scene before me was shifting dangerously fast, causing my head to spin. I groaned, throwing an arm over my eyes as the light assaulted them dangerously. My mouth was suddenly very dry and tasted horrible, like bitter _sake_. I groaned again, pushing myself into a seated position. A gentle hand pressed against my lower back and I opened my eyes. Gaara gave me a concerned look, offering a glass of water. I took it without complaint, downing it in one go. It eased the soreness in my throat but did nothing for the taste on my tongue.

"I-I need to brush my teeth," I croaked, "Morning breath is awful."

"Alright." Gaara agreed, though he seemed hesitant about leaving my side.

_"I wonder why?"_ I mused as we parted by the stairs.

I hobbled up them carefully with one crutch, it seemed to balance my weight better than both. When I reached the top I let out a happy sigh, thankful to see no one else had already claimed the bathroom.

"I should shower while I have the chance." I mumbled, hurrying to my room to grab a towel and a change of clothes.

I walked back carefully, everything stuffed under my free arm. When I entered, I dropped the clothes on top of the closed toilet seat, rested my crutch against the sink counter and took in my appearance. My hair was a tangled mess, sleep crusted lightly under one eye and a bit of drool was dried on the corner of my mouth. I blushed, realizing Gaara had seen me that way. I rubbed at my face until it was red.

"Oh well." I grunted, splashing some water on my face.

_"It's already in the past."_

I brushed with vigor, twice, just to make sure the taste was gone from both my tongue and teeth. I grabbed my crutch again, leaning against it as I turned the water in the shower on. Now the problem of actually showering was quickly presenting itself and I cursed, wishing I had grabbed a stool to sit on like I had done in the hospital.

"I'll just sit on the floor." I sighed, stripping myself of my clothes.

Sitting proved to be slightly difficult with my broken leg but I managed without incident. The cold tiles gave me goosebumps but soon the only thing I was focusing on was the wonderfully hot water rolling over my skin. I grabbed my shampoo, half surprised it was still there and furiously began working on the knots in my hair. A few painful tugs and pulls later, they were mostly gone and I rinsed the bubbles from it. I grabbed my body wash next, noticing that it was suspiciously _low_ but shrugged.

"Maybe Temari." I muttered, scrubbing my skin clean.

I paid extra attention to my right thigh, careful not to press down too hard least I hurt myself. I definately didn't need to cry out in pain while naked in the shower; who knew who would bust through the door to "save" me? When I was satisfied that I was completely clean and smelling good I turned off the water. If I had thought getting into the shower had been difficult then getting out was proving to be near impossible. I had to grab my towel, carefully setting it over the edge of the tub, to pull myself up. I twisted awkwardly as to not put pressure on my leg, shoved my clothes off the toilet seat and plopped down.

I ran the towel over my arms and legs until they were as dry as I was going to get them. Carefully, I pulled on a pair of black shorts and a tan tee with the Suna symbol on it. I almost laughed at how goofy it was but it beat trying to pull on my skin tight ANBU uniform. I vaguely wondered if Kankuro was right about me gaining weight. I sure hoped not. I towel-dried my hair next, letting it rest damply over my shoulders.

"Lookin' good." I cooed, giving myself one last look over.

I dropped my dirty clothes off in my room, a bit of dust spiraling into the air. I made a mental note to clean later or else suffer the consequences of allergies; dust and I were definately not friends. When I came to the stairs I frowned, already imagining my impending tumble to the bottom. Childhood brilliance struck and I had to refrain from patting myself on the back as I sat on the top step.

Like I had done as a child (and I was sure how countless others did as well) I began my _safe _and _fun_ decent down the stairs, butt plopping onto each stair below respectively. Obviously the noise had drawn Gaara's attention because when I reached the bottom he was there, offering a hand to help me up. I could feel his fingers hesitate slightly, before letting go.

"Arigato!" I chirped, following him into the kitchen.

He nodded slightly in return and I noticed Shikamaru was also present.

"Ohayou, Shikamaru!" I said cheerfully.

"_Afternoon_, Noriko." He replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Ehh? It's already afternoon?" I asked in surprise, taking my usual seat, "Where are Temari and the Baka?"

"Yeaaaah. Temari and Kankuro are already gone. I was waiting for you to wake up before I make my troublesome journey back." He drawled.

"You were just trying to delay, weren't you? You lazy bastard." I chuckled.

He raised a hand, obviously a verbal answer was "too troublesome" and I grinned.

"So what's for lunch then?" I asked, sniffing the air.

Something sure smelled _delicious_ and my stomach rumbled loudly in agreement.

"I had Kankuro go get Gyudon." Gaara murmured, placing a plate in front of me.

"I could have gotten a plate myself! I'm not handicapped!" I exclaimed, light blush covering my cheeks.

_"I didn't even realize he was making me a plate!"_

"Troublesome woman, just eat." Shikamaru sighed loudly.

"Troublesome _man_," I muttered under my breath as I grabbed my chopsticks, "Stop telling me what to do."

Shikamaru's lips turned up in a faint smile but he didn't respond farther than that. Gaara took his seat as well, only a tea cup in hand.

"Did you already eat Gaara?" I asked, grabbing up some of the beef and rice.

"Hai, Noriko-chan." He replied calmly, eyes holding mine.

From the corner of my eye I saw Shikamaru's dart between us, another faint smile tugging at his lips. I decided to ignore him and his sharp mind; he had probably already figured out everything even _before_ he had gone to bed last night. I stuffed the food into my mouth, stomach rumbling embarrassingly.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked around another mouthful of food.

"Sure and _you_?" Shikamaru asked, head tilting slightly.

I pursed my lips at the tone but answered anyway.

"Sure." I mocked, taking another bite.

"Really? Gaara said he thought you were having a nightmare or something..." He trailed off, eyes gleaming.

I frowned, most surely not liking the look. Shikamaru was teasing? Either the world was coming to an end or this wasn't Shikamaru. I was leaning towards the world ending, since his chakra was identical to the _real_ Shikamaru.

"N'pe," I said, swallowing my bite, "Why'd you think that Gaara?"

He opened his mouth gently before it closed again, lips pulling into a thin line. I raised a brow, tapping my chopsticks on the side of the plate and tried to remember what I had dreamed about. I couldn't recall.

_"Oh well."_ I shrugged to myself, grabbing more food.

It was obviously a bad decision because at that moment Gaara choose to speak.

"You called out my name." He said softly, eyes full of concern.

My reaction was instantaneous. The Gyudon caught in my throat, face burning seriously as I choked. Shikamaru actually had the audacity to _laugh_ at me and my misfortune as the dream came rushing back. To make matters worse Gaara seemed even more worried.

"I'm sorry, Noriko-chan. I didn't mean to bring up bad thoughts." He whispered carefully.

"W-Water, pl-please." I croaked when the food finally went down.

Gaara obliged, standing to grab a cup. I took the time to glare Shikamaru to death as I rubbed my sore throat. His grin just widened, freaking me out. I'd never seen him like this before, bastard.


End file.
